(Closed) Gifting Etiquette

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9693 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Twyla_Smith:  I would give a gift for both, and give whatever you can comfortably afford. It is hard to set a minimum because $25 may be a lot to some people, whereas others wouldn’t blink an eye at $100. For us, we give between $150 to $500 at a wedding, depending how close we are. For a shower, I would spend between $50 and $100, depending how close we are. So, I guess my answer is that it depends, but I do think gifts are required at both 🙂

Post # 4
Member
4442 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@Twyla_Smith:  When I was in that position I gave a gift for both.  I gave $75 for the shower because her family planned it and I didn’t help much, but I helped more with the wedding and gave $50 because I was pretty broke from her wedding at that point!

Post # 5
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You should definately get her a gift for the shower and the wedding.  I personally choose items from the couples registry for the shower and money for the wedding.

Whatever you can afford will be just fine, your cousin will appreciate any gift big or small.

Post # 6
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

A gift for each is appropriate, but they don’t need to be equivalent value. I generally do a lesser-value physical gift for a shower and a higher-value monetary gift at the wedding, but the golden rule is always give what you can afford. Figure out how much you want and can afford to spend on gifts total for the wedding, divide it up however you want, and you’ll be fine.

 

Post # 7
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Yes. Each event means another gift.

Post # 8
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee

I usually give a physical gift for the shower (ie. something off their registry) and then give cash or a gift card for the wedding.

 

Post # 9
Member
4416 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Wait, did you say you are IN the wedding? In that case, I would probably just give a very thoughtful card at the wedding itself — no sane bride can honestly expect her bridal party (who already gave up time and money to stand up next to her) to also give multiple gifts on top of that! If you absolutely can’t stomach giving her an empty card, then perhaps a small token gift for the wedding but you certainly don’t need to go beyond that.

Post # 10
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Twyla_Smith:  Def give to both. Typically it’s a gift from the registry at the shower and then cash at the wedding. Typically do 25% of the total you plan to spend for the shower and 75% at the wedding.

 

 

Random peeve: I can’t stand the word “gifting”. Where the hell did it come from?! Everyone uses it on here! It’s not a word!

Post # 11
Member
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Twyla_Smith:  Gift for both.  The wedding I would just gift money, and while it’s not mandatory to give a gift at a wedding, it is considered rude to attend empty handed. As for the shower that is a must gift event, the purpose of the shower is gifts.

 

Post # 12
Member
9693 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@iarebridezilla:  Ah. I missed that part. Yes, being in the bridal party should mean that you already gave the gift of spending your time and money on her wedding, lol. Having said that, I still know people who have given gifts when they are in the bridal party, so it is all about what you can comfortably afford.

 

Post # 13
Member
4416 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MrsPanda99:  exactly — if you WANT to give an additional gift, then go ahead, but it’s not something you’d need to worry about seeming rude for not doing 🙂

Post # 14
Member
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@iarebridezilla:  I would still give a gift at both. And for sure at least a shower gift. Being in the wedding would just mean the gifts are smaller.

Post # 16
Member
4416 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Twyla_Smith:  I’m sure if you write her a thoughtful card about how much you’ve enjoyed being a part of her day and how bright you know her future with her husband is, she will appreciate that much more than any blender you could buy her! 🙂

The topic ‘Gifting Etiquette’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors