Post # 1
I don’t really know what is expected when a friend is going to have a baby. If there is going to be a baby shower you bring a gift to that but are you also expected to give a gift when the baby actually is born, or is the shower gift usually it. I don’t want you can do whatever, I know I can do whatever, I’m generally curious about customs and etiquette.
Post # 3
@Atalanta: The shower gift is usually it. I sometimes give gifts to very close friends and family members when the baby is born, but it’s definitely an “extra” and not expected or required.
Post # 4
@Atalanta: Mostly if you do the shower thats it, you don’t need to gift upon birth. depends on cultures though as for some people they would feel wrong not bringing a gift at first official visit with baby.
What I did for my FSIL:
Baby 1: Shower Gift!
Baby 2: Homemade Freezer meals delivered the week of her due-date to be used after baby was born
She had no shower for the 2nd one and I really wanted to do something for them 🙂
Post # 5
Gift to the shower is generally all that is expected. Sometime when I find something that I love (if im excited about the baby) I will buy it and give it to my friend another time, but I have never brought a gift to my first time visiting the baby (unless you count socks for the mom, and hot food cause she hated the hospital food a gift).
Post # 6
I don’t think a gift when the baby is actually born is expected. If it was a close friend I’d probably bring some pre-cooked meals rather than a gift for the baby.
Post # 7
I usually give a shower gift. Then when the baby is born, and I’m seeing it for the first time, I bring flowers and diapers. Can’t go wrong with either one.
Post # 8
Are you super close to the person? Dearest friend/family member?
If not, I’d just give a shower gift and be done with it.
When my godson’s mother had the boy person, she didn’t have a shower (but I got her a gift anyway) and I made pre-made pre-packaged easily reheatable food and gave her a ton of it. It was my little way of helping out since I knew she’d be super tired after he was born. Not something you have to do, but if you’re close to them and would like to help out a little more, pre-made easily oven/microwave reheated food is a great way to help out new parents/parents with new baby. Then they don’t have to worry about cooking. Just throw something from the freezer into the oven and bam!
Include reheating instructions, too.
Post # 9
One of my very good friends and former college roommates just had a baby. I got her a shower gift and a gift when I went to go see her and the baby. I did the same for another friend who I was not as close with. It’s just my nature though. I think you’re fine with just a shower gift.
Post # 10
Yeah, if you go to a shower, it’s ‘expected’ that you bring a gift. Anything else is up to you and depends on how close you are to the mother/father…
If you are familiar with the parenting community online, there are now things referred to as ‘push presents’ that apparently are expected from husbands/family members, that are supposed to be extravagant or expensive. RIDICULOUS. I actually equate a lot of the greedy bride posts with the greedy parent posts I’ve read on different sites! Moms with mulitple showers that expect everyone to attend them all, plus bring a present to the hospital, PLUS one when they go home, PLUS being there to help for the next 6 weeks..it’s crazy!
This coming from me, when I had FIVE freakin’ baby showers and FI was taking a class at the time, and they had a diaper shower for him during class! It was insane…but we had no repeat guests…it was just too hard to cooridinate my 2 groups of friends, my family, my work, and FI’s family and friends. Had they been done as one or maybe two, they would have been normal sized showers (or even small compared to some I’ve been to).
Post # 11
I’m pregnant (due in May!) and I certainly don’t expect anyone to bring gifts whe they come meet our little guy. If you’re coming to the shower, well yeah, then I’d assume you’d bring one to that since it’s kind of the point (not to sound gift grabby – but it IS the point, let’s be real here). But otherwise I wouldn’t expect anything other than a visit or a congratulations text/call,
Post # 12
@Atalanta: I usually just do a shower gift. For one of my really good friends I also gave her a book and card when the baby was born. That was 3 years ago and I still give her daughter a book for every occassion.
Post # 13
I would say shower gift only, any additional gifts are a nice surprise. I am still getting gifts from people 3 months later….. not that I am complaining or anything. I don’t really need any more blankets though!
Post # 14
I usually do a shower gift and another when the baby arrives.
Post # 15
Normally just a shower gift. However, for certain people, I’ve done a little more. Here are a few ideas in addition to a shower gift if you’re looking:
1. Sister (first baby, first neice) – Restaurant G.C. for takeout, made the dad a funny shirt. Also hosted her shower with tons of fun goodies!
2. Sis in law (baby #4, all 4 are under 4 – yikes!) – sent her a cookie bouquet
3. Very good friend from college – sent cookie bouquet
4. BFF from H.S. – hasn’t had baby yet, but I’ll probably bring her over a meal and maybe spring for a G.C. for her and her husband. For her shower I made her 2 fruit baby carriages, a big diaper cake, and chipped in for a nice big gift, so I don’t want to be too overbearing with getting her things. 😉
Post # 16
Case in point, my coworker (and good friend) is due in about a month. We’re throwing her a shower at work in 2 weeks, which is when I’ll give her the crochet baby blanket I’ve been working on. Then, I’m going to email her and ask what some of her and her husband’s favorite meals are so I can bring by some prepared dishes once the baby is born.