Post # 1
Fiance and I had a 75 person destination/national park wedding planned which was cancelled just a few months before it took place due to my father’s terminal illness.
We had sent out Save-The-Date Cards to our guest list, but it was right before the invitation selection when we cancelled. Luckily no one paid for plane tickets at that point and we got our money back. I had the venue, caterer, officiant, photographer, lodging all booked.
We are now eloping, which is just 6 weeks after the original wedding date. It’s not a secret; I don’t want it to be a secret. We are telling some friends and family that we’re eloping (in 2 weeks!). We want people to share in our excitement building up to the big day, not get the news after the fact.
I am getting several inquiries about where we were registered. I am caught off guard as I don’t know what to say!
Honestly, I did not get to the registering part. I don’t know if I was going to as I felt so guilty about people having to pay $$$ to the Destination Wedding in the first place. I wouldn’t go register right now either.
Someone suggested that I just say,”Well if I would have regisered, I would have put XYZ on there.” However, I don’t know if I can keep track of what I am telling people. (ei. Sheets to my sister, towels to auntie, etc).
Just gracefully decline and say, “You don’t have to get us anything!”
Or say the same generic, “sheets and towels” answer to everyone?” because I don’t want to keep a tally of what I am telling to who?
It does feel weird to verbalize what we could use as a gift in this situation.
Post # 3
Even though we eloped people still sent us gifts. Some people insisted. I didn’t like it but I still graciously accepted. I don’t think it is necessary to register. Just tell people you do not have one. If they get you something it’s by their choice.
Post # 4
@MrsElopement: Did anyone flat out ask what you could use? And what did you say in reply?
Post # 5
@sienna76: We had registered for a couple of things. That was to appease our parents since they really wanted to give us something. Of the people that sent us gifts, I think 2 disdovered the registry on their own and the others sent cash. I would tell people we didn’t have a registry or to not send gifts. It didn’t work obviously.
Post # 6
I feel very uncomfortable allowing friends/relatives to buy gifts for me if I’ve not invited them to the wedding (or housewarming party, birthday party, etc). If I were planning to elope, I’d not tell anyon till after it was over, hence lowering the opportunity for anyone to buy a gift, and if asked where I was registered, I’d reply that we appreciated the gesture but preferred that no one buy us gifts.
Post # 7
I would create a very small registry for the people who insist. I always had a hard time keeping track of who I told what I wanted for xmas and bdays sinceI come from a divorced family so I started a running “registry” through a national chain of outdoor stores and my grandmother loves it because instead of chassing after what I want and need she just checks the list. Keep telling them no no dont worry but if they insist have a backup plan thats easy and stress free.
Post # 8
I have a hard time believing that the timing of the news will some how change people’s desire to give or not give. If people want to give, even after knowing, they are still going to insist.
You may keep it hush-hush if it were you, but I do not want to be with my good friends and family. They were to be invited to the original wedding anyway, and have been waiting for updates (even knowing it will be a private wedding).
NO – I am not fishing for gifts here. No one has to do anything but be excited and happy for us! But as Mrs. Elopement said, you can say no registry and we don’t want gifts and it doesn’t always work.