Gifts for my bridesmaids: yay or nay?

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
287 posts
Helper bee

@Saria213:  I think it’s a lovely idea, especially seeing as they each get a different one depending on what reminds you of them.

Post # 4
Member
2912 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i love these! a lot of the times girls post jewelry on here and i’m just like, “eh.” but i think they’re all really pretty and i love anything vintage/antique. i would totally wear any of these 🙂

Post # 5
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

I think it’s a nice idea, especially since you are giving each girl a different one. But are they likely to wear them?

Post # 6
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

I love them! I really hate most BM jewelry gifts. I’m sorry, but I will never wear anything with my initials or name on it unless it’s sentimental in a deeper way (I have a gold bracelet engraved with my name my dad gave me, as well as a gold heart that belonged to my great grandmother of the same name) and these are gorgeous! That bird one has me over the moon.

Post # 7
Member
7395 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Jacqui90:  I agree. It is great that they remnd you of each individual girl but will they actually like them and wear them?

Post # 9
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

@Saria213:  Could you get the other three something else that you know they will love and use? I don’t think all bridesmaids gifts have to be the same thing

Post # 10
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

GORGEOUS !!

And to be honest as an Etiquette Snob… lol

(only because I know too much about the topic due to my upbringing & career)

I have to COMMEND you because in actuality you have done exactly what “traditional etiquette” dictates for this situation

Bridesmaids gifts from the Bride, are THANK YOUS.  And as such they should be chosen for each gal individually… based on her likes etc.  And not be all matchy-matchy.

As I’ve said on these Boards countless times… although the variations we see on WBee in regards to… Robes – Make Up Bags – Clutches – etc… are all very nice.  They don’t count as a Thank You if (a) the Girl is expected to wear it / use it the day of the Wedding… (b) Everyone gets the same thing… so that essentially the Bride didn’t put any effort into it.

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 12
Member
7395 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Saria213:  I agree with @Jacqui90: . Buy them something individual if you think they wont like it. The idea of a gift is to give the person something they would like/use not something the gift giver likes or is convienient for them.

Shop like you would individually for their birthdays. After all you wouldn’t give them the identical birthday present would you? 

Post # 13
Member
8702 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

As a fellow anti-bride, they’re lovely.

Post # 15
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO @Saria213: Indeed that is the role of Etiquette, to make sure all the players are using the same Rule Book… and thereby everyone should know their role.  Unfortunately, a lot of people nowadays think that Etiquette is stuffy, or old fashioned… or doesn’t apply.

Fair enough that is “their take”

BUT in reality, it does go a long way to smoothing over any potential landmines that a Bride & Groom might otherwise run into in the process.

This is especially true when it comes to the Bridal Party.

I’ve literally had to cut back on my viewing BP Posts here on WBee… because of the frightening stuff that happens on that Board.

The role of the Bridal Party has changed dramatically… and yet it hasn’t.  It hasn’t in that Modern Day Brides still expect a lot from their nearest & dearest… Joy & Happiness – Standing up for them – Wearing Nice Outfits – Photos – Showers – Bachelorette Parties – and a Wedding Gift for the Newlyweds.

BUT in turn the Couples side of the equation to balance out all that has become very very weak.  Infact I’d go so far as to say, expecting so much and giving little back in the way of respect is downright RUDE

Traditional Etiquette, and the Bridal Party was extremely well treated in exchange for the gift of time and effort they put forth for the couple, example for a Bridesmaid / MOH

Invites to all the Pre-Wedding Events – a Bride Hosted Pre Wedding Thank You Event (Bridal Luncheon etc) – all “special” items for the big day paid for (just not the dress) – Accommodations for the Weekend (usually 2 Nights) – Transportation to the Ceremony, Reception and back to the Accommodations – Invite to the Rehearsal Dinner – and an Individuallly Chosen Thank You Gift for all they’ve done for you

PLUS the consideration of them bringing a Guest known as a Plus One (for whomever they may want… Spouce, Fiance, Live In, SO, a Date… be it a regular of theirs or someone just for the occasion.  Infact if they can’t find a date or don’t want to, they would just as be welcome to bring their Brother, Sister or Mother along.  Whomever they’d like to spend the Weekend with for the “downtime” when they aren’t busy with the Wedding itself).  AND their Guest would of course be welcome at all the Wedding Events… such as the Rehearsal Dinner – Wedding – Next Day Brunch etc.

Sadly tho, this trend towards the more polite treatment of the Bridal Party is disappearing… (no wonder there are soooo many BRIDEZILLA / BRIDESMAIDS IN REVOLT posts here on WBee)

I feel really really sad now for someone who volunteers to be in the Bridal Party… because now it is very much a very expensive time & money commitment.  Whereas, when I got married the first time (circa 1980) it clearly was a case where the B&G laid out at least the same amount of money to have those people take part, if not more.  Certainly made it a lot more fair IMO

What I do tell Brides-2B now is if you are at the beginning of Planning, be sure and sit down with your Bridal Party and go over responsiblities and expenses… it is sooo worth it to be on the same page… just to make assumptions on expectations is a very dangerous game, as ultimately someone is going to be hurt / disappointed.

Hope this helps,

 

  

Post # 16
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Saria213:  I love these, I was so close to buying them for our bridesmaids. In the end we didnt because we really wanted something engraved and we couldnt engrave them.

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