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Hi bees! I know I'm 10 months out, but I have been thinking hard about my girls' gifts. I am buying their clutches because they will be carrying those down the aisle in lieu of bouquets. These will be around $45 a piece after shipping. I was going to fill the clutches with things they may need throughout the day (chapstick, gum, lip gloss, etc.). I was also going to get them a card and perhaps something small and personal or reception shoes. I have 7 BMs, so any more than $60-$70 a person is pretty pricey. I'm still in school, so both my wedding and my life are 100% funded on my parents, which is why I feel bad running out to Tiffany for my friends.
I originally thought I'd buy them day of jewelry, but one of my girls doesn't have her ears pierced and one is allergic to all metal except for platinum (yeah, she's even allergic to gold!). My 15 y.o. sister is my MOH, and I thought it would be nice to get her her first set of pearls as a "special" gift. My question is, am I being stingy? Should I spend a little more on them? How much are you spending (total) on your BMs?
Thanks so much!
I think $60-$70 is pretty generous. I'm spending $100 for their dress, and I might get something else small for each of them, but I'm only having 3, so that helps keep costs down!
P.s. I love your idea to fill the clutches with things they'll need the day-of :)
I spent less than that on gifts! but I also bought them bouquets to carry. The flowers were funded by my parents but the gifts by myself. I got them jewlery (cheap not platium!) and personalized etsy stationary, along with breakfast & lunch morning of and lots of drinks and snacks day before and day of.
It sort of depends on whether they are flying anywhere to attend the wedding, if their BM dresses are particularly pricey, if they contributed a lot to the bachelorette party/bridal shower...
I think what you described (a clutch with drug store trinkets) is totally fine and generous if the above issues don't really apply. It is also fine to spend a little more on your sister or whoever your MOH is.
If at all possible, try to nix the chapsticks and gum and put money toward something that doesn't have anything to do with the wedding. As much as clutched and "day of" jewelry is nice, it's never really a gift for the bridesmaids, it's more of a gift to you, you know? I hope that doesn't sound snarky, but I think brides have a hard time realizing that maybe they don't want matching jewelry and purses. It could not be their style.
I asked my BMs to wear their own jewelry and got them gift that I knew they would use. Even mani gift certificates would be inexpensive. Or a gift card to their favorite store.
Overall, we spent about $80 per bridesmaid.
all my girls have to travel for the wedding, so i was planning on getting a couple of rooms for us all the night before as their gift, along with some jewelry that i will make for them.
I love the idea of filling the clutches with the small stuff that they might forget to take with them! There are your bridesmaids for a reason and hopefully they will appreciate anything you give them. Your gifts cannot be more than you can afford!
I think what you have planned is very sweet. Your friends and sister will really appreciate any form of thanks that you give them. I have 4 girls and I purchased their jewelry for the day of and then also picked up some purses for them. I'm trying to see if I can work into our budget to get their hair/makeup done for the wedding.
I spent about $75-$80 on each of my 6 BMs and got them everything you see below:
I second the PPs who said that a clutch that they're carrying down the aisle and day-of jewelery are more gifts to you than gifts for them. They are things that make your day look the way YOU want it to. I think those things are fine for part of the gift but IMO should not comprise the entire gift.
Bridesmaids.JPG (118 KB, 112 downloads) 1 year old
@Mrs.KMM: ooo can you tell us more about the stationery? that is a FABULOUS idea. how did you do it and how much did it cost, if you don't mind sharing?
i got a mani/pedi the day before the wedding as a gift once for being a birdesmaid, and i thought it was a great gift! we all got to hang out and relax together for a bit. it doesn't have to be the most expensive gift, sometimes something fun that you do together can be a better gift than an expensive piece of jewelry. especially if you are in school and have a lot of BMs, I'd focus on putting thought into the gift more than worrying about whether or not you spent enough.
2 out of the 7 of my BMs will have to travel. Their dresses were $60 and their shoes were $45 (the girls agreed that they wanted to buy the matching dresses and shoes, so I didn't feel AS bad about having them spend the money). I've offered the girls who will be traveling a place to stay and certainly don't expect any of them to attend prewedding events.
@Miss Chapstick: I know what you mean. The gum and stuff wasn't something I was including in the price (I'm a dental student...xylitol gum is important!). I figured the clutch would act as a bouquet that didn't die. If they wanted to use it again, awesome. If not, maybe they could sell it on ebay or something. I was thinking about buying them something I saw that matched their personal style, or lip gloss/makeup that I know they already wear.
Thanks for your feedback everyone...it's giving me ideas and making me feel better!
@Ms. Meowerson: I got them from ETSY seller ohlouisedesigns and they were $15 each for ten cards and envelopes. She has tons of different patterns and colors so I got 4 different patterns and had different color combinations for each (I got 2 of each for 8 sets total - I wanted some for me and got one for our guest book attendant too).
I got my girls "bridesmaid" totes, a sterling silver necklace (NOT for the wedding day, they were all different and personalized), freshwater pearl earrings (FOR the wedding day), initial stationary, wedge flip flops for the reception (and afterward), a bottle of their favorite adult beverage, haha, hair flowers for the wedding day... I think that was it... i think... but it ended up being just around $100 per person, as I was able to get good deals on stuff - but I only have 4 bridesmaids.
@Mrs.KMM: That is a wonderful idea! I'd love to receive stationary! Unfortunately, my BMs don't share my love of correspondence, but that's an even better reason for me to try to tailor part of their gift to them.
That is not stingy at all. 7 BM is a lot! I was thinking about for my BM, on top of the gifts, finding a friend or relative to do their hair for free. I dont think you need to buy their shoes unless you really want them to have the same shoes. I will just let my BM wear whatever shoes they want.
And I love looking for BM gifts on etsy, although I havnt bought anything yet.
@Mrs.KMM: I love your gift combo! They have thoughtful, useful, and sentimental stuff all in a great gift! Awesome job!
Most expensive BM gift I was given was under $30 (a jewelry box with their wedding date engraved.) Both weddings I've been in, I bought the jewelry, shoes, and dresses the brides wanted. I flew in from at least half-way across the country. Had the brides said "Wear some jewelry that matches" instead of picking out the precise set they wanted me in, I would have spent $30-60 less per wedding. The filled clutches sound like enough to me.
@sweetpea1031: Thanks! I spent a lot of time thinking of things to put it all together! :) My BMs all really seemed to like it too so I was quite pleased.
I'm only 5 months out and havent started shopping yet. Crap!!!
I am going to buy them their shoes (payless has adorable dyeables actually that are only $45!!!)
Maybe manis/ pedis the day before
How much to people usually spend? I really don't want to give them something lame and monogramed with our names / date etc, seems a little self-serving, and I know I never keep stuff like that from weddings.
I am doing their jewellery (necklace, earings) and giving them a $50 giftcard to the salon where we are getting our hair and makeup done.
I honestly think this is really generous, but we have a budget wedding which is funded 70-80% by us. Because of this, we don't really have a ton of money to spend on each girl.
I'm hoping to spend $25-$50 on each person, as there are 8 total (4 girls, 4 guys) and any more than that and we're basically hurting ourselves financially by going even further into debt before we're even married.
It's hard, honestly, because I've always been a big gift giver- I love giving people presents and I would love to just go crazy and get my maids everything that I've seen that I like, but it's just not going to be feasible.
You can also go personal and get each individual bridesmaid something small that's really "them"--like movie tickets for the movie buff, new fangled lip gloss for the make-up freak, art playing cards for the art fan etc. Personal tends to trump cost.
And the best gift I ever got from being a BM was an umbrella. Seriously--it was totally cute (silver!) I still use it to this day!
I have 5 BM's so I tried to keep my gifts pretty simple.. I got them bags to carry things in the day of, then I bought their necklace and earrings for the day of, travel size lotion and shower gel for each girl, mirrow compact, red scarf for each girl (I'm getting married in winter in MN haha), then I got a special bracelet for my MOH. Then I'm going to write each a special note thanking them. I kind of want to do something like mani/pedi as well, or help with hair, but a couple of the girls are getting theirs done elsewhere.. So in all, I've spent under $50 each so far I think.
I am on a very tight budget so I didn't get them too many things. I bought them each a leopard print clutch to carry at the reception in lieu of a big purse ($7), Etsy personalized wine glasses for about $6.50 each, a necklace to wear during the ceremony ($10) and I am paying for them to get their hair done ($38 + tip). So this comes out to a total of $60-$70 per girl. Although my daughter is a junior bridesmaid and I am getting her hair done and bought a necklace for her, but I will just get her something she wants in lieu of the clutch and wine glass.
Actually, that doesn't sound half bad when I type it out, lol. I budgeted the hair as part of the actual wedding so it isn't considered in the separate "bridesmaid gift" budget, which without that I am only spending $23 per girl.
I'm giving my bridesmaids the following:
Monogrammed Vera Bradley Ditty Bags and another bag in the same style (lunch bag, wallet, etc.)
Handmade shoes from Etsy with their names sewn in the shoes (I LOVE the shoes!)
Petticoats to wear under their dresses (they're wearing 50's dresses)
Handmade Body Scrub by Sudstress (her products are awesome!)
Mani/Pedi party the day before the wedding
I'm also going to fill their ditty bags with items they'll need for the weekend
This is my second wedding and my BMs were with me the first time and are doing it again - I love them!
I only have 4 bridesmaids and I REALLY want to get them a little something from Tiffany's if I can swing it. Prob between $100-$150 each. And I'm paying for half of their makeup ($25 each)
@Mrs.KMM: sorry if i missed it somewhere in all the other comments, but where did you get the wineglasses? and the wrist purses? i love them!
Thanks again everyone! I've usually received a photo frame, engraved jewelry box, day of jewelry, etc when I was a BM. I knew I wanted to get something more personal, but still not too $$. Then I went on the Bee and saw people spending well over $150 on their bridesmaids, just for their gift. I originally thought I'd get my girls Tiffany, but once my BMs numbers rose from 3 to 7, it seemed silly. I'm also the only one out of my friends who likes Tiffany, so I'd be buying a gift I liked for myself for them haha.
Maybe I can offer them their choice of hair/nails (I have a friend who refuses to let a stranger do her nails and one that's the same way about hair) and a personal gift that's <$30 and they can use like a tote bag from Etsy or something from the home section of Anthropologie. I'm having a large wedding, and I don't want the girls to feel like their gift was an afterthought. I also don't want to make my BMs that bought me photo frames as my gift to feel like I'm trying to be showy. I personally would never care what someone bought me and would never expect anything for being a BM, but I don't want to make anyone feel hurt or unappreciated. Ugh, I thought this would be the easy part of planning!
I'm covering the cost of my girls' nakeupt ($50 each), got them jewellery for the wedding day, and also made each girl a scrapbook about our friendship, as I am a major scrapbooker. Although the small albums didn't cost me too much (I'm an AVID scrapbooker, and had enough supplies and small albums around the house to make them without buying anything) I'm hopeful that the girls will appreciate and love them (hopefully!) It took some time, but I am really glad I did it!!
@missypratt3: I got the wine glasses from ETSY seller FizzyArtist but she also has a separate website (not through ETSY) here: http://www.fizzyartist.com/WEDDINGS.html They were about $25 each but you get discounts for buying multiples (we got the for the BMs, GM, and ourselves!).
I got the wrislet purses from ETSY seller lireca. They were $13 each but she also has some other clutch/wristlet designs at a couple other similar pricepoints.
I think that's a good amount of money to spend. I only have 2 bridesmaids, so I was able to give a little more. But if I had more I'd have to bring the price down.
I'm getting them each something different, but not spending over $20 a girl--our budget is TIGHT (as in, about $2k for the whole wedding--that includes dress, tuxes, etc.).
I'm spending about $40 per girl. IMO, it's more about what you give them than the cost of it :).
Here's everything:
And that's a wrap for me! :).
I wouldn't buy them jewelry. Even if the one girl wasn't allergic to everything, I still wouldn't. They all have jewelry and I'm sure they have something that will look nice the day of your wedding.
The clutch is a nice present. I'd definately include a note with it and putting something else inside would be nice too. Personally, I probably wouldn't use any lipgloss or gum that was in my bag. However, you know your girls! If it' something they would use, then go for it.
To answer your second question about how much I"m spending:
I've already spent $100 on each of their dresses. I plan to pay for their hair also. I'm not doing "presents." I don't want to spend money on things my BMs will never use. I'd rather pay for their dresses and hair then have them spend their own money and then I gift them a $20 bottle of wine. It doesn't make sense to me.
I got my 6 bm's clutches from Bebe at $25 each, sunglasses at urban outfitters for $15 and my brides(man?) a fedora-like hat ($35) and red socks($10) from urban outfitters. I also took everyone to brunch at the four seasons two weeks before the wedding.
I got my girls customized jewelry from Etsy for around $30 each. It is not jewelry they will wear the day of, it's a little more casual.
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