Post # 1
Hello bees, i have a situation and i need to now how to handle this. My parets and my fiance and i are splitting the cost of the wedding. His parents are not contributing a single thing. His parents were only together for 1 night if you catch my drift. After that they were never togteher again. He never lived with either of them and was raised by his grandparents. He’s not very close to either of them. He talks to them and helps them out if they need anything but i wouldn’t consider then “parents” really; more like a vesel that gave him life. They never gave him anything from a birthday gift to a christmas gift… EVER. Here is the dilema. I might be wrong here and if i am please tell me because i just dont know (i’ve never been married before lol) I thought we each get our parents a gift to say thank you for helping with the wedding. If his “parents” dont help with the wedding do we still get them a gift? Or is this a gift to say thank you for giving us life? His grandparent technically raised him so i feel if we get anyone a gift we get her one. What do we do? I’m really not sure. Also do we get my parents a gift as a unit? like one gift for mom and dad (they’ve been married for 30 years) and one gift for his mother and one gft for his father?
Post # 3
@daniellemc: Are you making it a big deal at the wedding, as in presenting the gift in front of a group of people? Because then you may get into a sticky situation with only giving it to one set of parents.. if not then feel free to thank those who helped… no shame or blame there.
We plan on thanking my parents and my FMIL but not FFIL at the wedding, during a speech…. He didnt even congratulate us on our engagement 🙁 yet alone help out with the wedding. He speaks to Fi maybe 5x a year on the phone and MAYBE sees him 1x if FI makes the complete effort.
Post # 4
We plan on giving the gifts in private. Nothing big just a token of appreciation. For my parents we said a night in a really nice hotel so they can relax! And it’s the same way with my fiancé and ffil 🙁 it is what it is though.thigh
Post # 5
I’d give a gift to your parents and to his grandmother. Doesn’t sound like they contributed much to his life other then egg/spern donership. Since you’re doing this in private it really doesn’t matter too much.
Post # 6
Usually I would suggest giving his parent’s gifts even if they didn’t help with the wedding but in this case, where they didn’t raise him at all, I would just give gifts to your parents and his grandma.
We got our parent’s a ‘unit’ gift but I think either way is fine.