Post # 1
So my fiance and I are getting married in Cape Town next November. We live in the UK but as he’s originally from there we thought this would be a special place to get married with the added bonus of lovely weather (hopefully!) and beautiful scenery!
I’m in the process of printing the invitations and extra bits to send out in the New Year however i’m feeling a bit stuck on the gifts part. I’m not one for asking for things so already feel a bit awkward for asking for gifts but i’m feeling bad asking the UK guests to spend alot of money to go abroad to see us marry so feel cheeky asking for a gift/money on top of that. My best friend is marrying abroad a few months after me and she’s planning on asking for money to go towards their honeymoon.
Just wondering what everyones thoughts are on this? Any ideas on what to write with the invititations? Would you be offended if you were asked to travel for a wedding and give a gift?
Post # 3
Honestly, gifts shouldn’t be mentioned on a wedding invitation at all. If you’re having a shower, that’s different… you could include registry information if you choose.
Tell your parents/future in-laws/near and dear friends who ask that you don’t need gifts, but if someone is so compelled you would like them to send it directly to your house or ship it at a later date. They can spread this information via word of mouth if guests should ask them.
As for your friend, I personally (and in my social circle) find it off-taste to ask for cash, especially to cover wedding or honeymoon expenses. If someone doesn’t register for physical gifts, I would just give a check anyway.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
We had 50% of our guests from overseas, and were not comfortable asking for gifts either. We didn’t register because of this, and if people asked we just said we don’t need anything. Most wanted to give us something anyway, and were very generous with cash – which we used for our honeymoon!
Post # 5
If you feel bad about it, don’t mention gifts at all. They shouldn’t be mentioned on teh invitation anyway. If someone asks you, tell them how you feel – that you feel guests are spending a lot to be at the wedding, so gifts are not expected.
Personally, if I were attending a wedding, and was travelling a long way to get there, I would still give a gift because it’s what I would want to do.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC
I directed everyone to our wedding website where all the information for the wedding registry was. I did this by putting an insert into the invitation. Guaranteed many people will not look at it so its important to tell family and friends where to direct people who ask.
I had a DW and didnt receive any gifts off my registry. People gave money or just didnt, which was fine with me. Make sure you leave a card box at the reception.
Post # 7
Don’t mention gifts at all on the invitation (at least that’s etiquette in the US). If you don’t have any registry, then most people will give you cash. And a couple will give you dishtowels or candelsticks or something random. But most people will give cash. Another option, if you want a registry, is to do a honeymoon registry. They can be a bit controvercial, but we did one and it went very well. Also, are you having any wedding showers?
Post # 8
95% of our guests had to travel for our wedding in Scotland. We registered, mainly for the bridal shower. Everyone who got us a present – SENT it to us before the wedding, or gave us a check/gift card if they brought it to the wedding. Your friends/family know you will be traveling. They will be traveling. No one is packing a blender 🙂
And I blatantly told many of my friends (we’re teachers so no extra cash) that I want them at the wedding, not a gift.
Post # 9
I wasn’t going to write anything on the actual invititations but like alot of weddings i have been to a seperate message or poem was included in the envelope in regards to gifts.
I think i’m just going to leave it out as it will make me feel better and if people give us something that’s lovely and if not we are just happy they could make it!
Post # 10
@cazza87: Personally if I saw gift information on an invite to a destination wedding, I would be kind of annoyed and would wonder if I could even afford to go to your event (airfare + hotel + meals outside of wedding + gift + oh my!). I wouldn’t ask at all, but have someone helping you (bridal party or what have you) spread via word of mouth that box gifts (if the guest is inclined to give a box gift) should be sent to your house.