Post # 1
I was just on our Williams-Sonoma registry to make sure it was set to go for my shower, and I saw that a tablecloth had been purchased! However, the person who sent it is not on our guest list, and I don’t recognize her name. She lives near FI’s parents.(Nifty W-S feature – you can see who bought what!)
Since our engagement announcement just ran in FI’s hometown newspaper, my best guess is that she saw it and sent something, even though she’s not invited. Or maybe she expects to be invited? Is this normal? I’m not obligated to invite her, am I? (There’s NO WAY I’m asking FMIL, she feels obligated to invite anyone who ever met FI, and half the people who didn’t.)
Post # 3
Strange. I polled a group of friends of mine about this (i wanted to send a gift to a friend of mine having a destination wedding) and everyone felt it was odd to send a gift if you weren’t invited.
Maybe she expects to be??? Or she’s just being nice. I didn’t think it would have been weird of me to do that. Hmm.
No you are not obligated lol. Hopefully FMIL didn’t invite her to the shower, then, and that’s what she bought it for!
I did’t know you could see who bought what on williams sonoma! I registered there too
Post # 4
You are definitely under no obligation to invite her just because she bought you a present. First, I would run the name by Fi or FMIL to see if they even know this person; it could always be a registry mistake. Secondly, if she is a friend that didn’t make the guest list, just send her a really nice thank you card expressing your gratitude. I was surprised to get two wedding gifts from non-guests, but both people said they were ust really happy for us and wanted to help us celebrate. It’s always nice when people do that. 🙂
Post # 5
We received a couple of gifts from individuals not on our list. They were friends of the parents, and knew that they were not on the list. Yet they still chose to acknowledge us anyway, once they saw our engagement announcement. It was such a nice gesture!
Believe it or not, some individuals are selfless in their actions…and simply wanted you to know they were thinking about you and upcoming wedding. =)
Send a sweet thank-you note and thank them for keeping you in their thoughts!
Post # 6
it really isn’t that uncommon for someone to send a gift even if they aren’t invited. Keep that in mind the next time you hear of a friend who is getting married but you aren’t invited.
Post # 7
In addition to the guesses above: maybe it’s the significant other / date of a guest?
Post # 8
I got a gift from a friend of my mom’s. It was really nice and not a self-invitation. She did just want to help us celebrate.
In addition to a sweet thank you note, a visit to her (she probably remembers your FI from his youth) would be a very nice gesture.
Post # 9
We got a gift from my fiance’s ex-wifes sister…..she wanted to wish us happiness- we have been wracking our brains trying to figure out how she found out we were getting married. Her note in the card wished him every happiness saying that he was too good for her sister when they were married and she was happy to hear he had found someone to spend the rest of his life with. I thought it was very sweet.
Are we going to invite her to the wedding? no…..but we have sent her a very nice thank you card. In the world that we live in, for someon to go out of their way to give a gift to the bride and groom when they are not invited to the wedding says a lot about the person.
Post # 10
I don’t think it’s odd, I think it’s nice. Hopefully this person had no expectations attached to the gift. I don’t think that everyone sends gifts to receive an invite, you should just send a really thoughtful thank you card.
Post # 11
I think this person was just being nice & wants to congratulate you! A gift is usually given to make someone happy, not to get something in return! 🙂
Btw, that is so awesome that WS shows who purchased what!
Post # 12
If the person who sent the gift is a long-time or very friendly neighbor of FI’s parents, I think that’s totally normal… I’ve seen that happen with some of my family members, and my gram has done that herself. I wouldn’t feel pressured to invite them, but definitely send a nice thank you note! 🙂