Post # 1
I already know what I’m getting him, but he didn’t have any idea that people actually did this.
He asked what they normally give and I said that most traditionally the Groom buys the bride some kind of jewelry that she more then likely can wear on that day.
Not even sure if that’s right –
Well I was looking at some web sites for wedding jewelry the other day and when he asked what I was doing he got confused and said "I thought I was supposed to buy you your wedding jewelry" and I explained that I needed earings and a necklace and a bracelet possibly.
He was like "Yeah?" as if to say I was going to get you those things.
Now A: I know we can’t afford all that because I know he’ll go all real stones and stuff
and B: I don’t trust him worth a lick to pick out my entire ensemble for that day. I love him, but his "style" isn’t quite….up to date – let’s say.
So my question is, how can he buy me something with out me knowing what it is and that I can still wear for that day.
Do you HAVE to wear the item they gave you if it is jewelry? Wouldn’t it be rude to not wear it?
I’m fine with him just getting me my wedding band and being done with it but now that he knows about this tradition of gift gving that day he wants to do it.
Post # 3
As one of my close friends who just got married said, his present to his bride was his love. 🙂
Some people do this, some people don’t. There isn’t really a rule of what you have to get each other. For me and my husband, we got each other something we knew the other would love in our everyday life. I got him a Tag watch and he got me a Coach hangbag that I was drooling over from one of their recent collections. Both presents were something we knew we wouldn’t go out and buy for ourselves and both would love!
But this is just our style. I think it’s the thought that goes behind it that makes it special. It could be earrings or that fantastic scarf you’ve wanted for ions. And if it is jewelry, there is no rule you have to wear it on your big day.
Hope that helps!
Post # 4
I’m not sure what he’s going to get me if anything at all. =) He’s never into weddings. For him though, I just did an intime session with Tony on Monday and putting together a book as my gift to him. Very nervous on how the photos would turn out but I hope he likes it!
Sorry I should have read the post more. hehe. hmm.. I don’t think it’s so far off to go with him and pick out your wedding gift if he’s not much of a shopper himself. or maybe send him some internet searches you found of jewelry styles that he can prob print out and take to the stores with him. i may do the same with my FI too although im not sure he’d be all happy about getting gifts when we are already paying for everything for a wedding. i would assume knowing him, he’d say that the wedding is my gift.. =P not sure..
anyways, i think it would be fun to go shopping with your FI and hint at some styles.. =) good luck!
Post # 5
I don’t think we’re getting each other anything. I’m pretty sure we’ve discussed this. Originally we’d say – oh I’ll get you that for our wedding present (fancy watch etc) But with the honeymoon, wedding and house purchase just doesn’t make sense. I think we decided to just write each other a card – guess I need to follow up. I’m not even sure I’d heard of the jewelry thing before – you’re getting a wedding ring doesn’t that count? Honestly I’d be thrilled if I just got flowers and a card day of…. (I know like I’ll need more flowers!).
Post # 6
My FI also had no clue about wedding day gifts, so I also had to explain.
Could you maybe say that typically it is ONE nice piece of jewerly like earnings or bracelet? Then you do not have to worry about him spending too much and purchasing lots of items that may not be your style for the wedding day?
Just a thought. Then with earnings or a bracelet it is a smaller item so you do not have to worry as much about the style.
Post # 7
i was obsessed with the haute bride bracelet (the one everyone wants..so of course i wanted it too). I didn’t want to pay that much though, with everything costing so much already..so i suggested that if he was getting me a wedding gift, he could buy it for me as a wedding gift! He couldn’t decide what to get me for VDay, so he bought that as a vday gift instead. Fiance is bad when it comes to gift giving too, so i probably have to see what else i’m drooling over for the wedding, but if he didn’t get me anything..that’s just perfect too! The bracelet could still be considered a wedding gift.
Post # 8
i’d say if you guys are getting gifts, to get something meaningful, from the heart. that could be jewelry or something completely different.
i dont think it matters about tradition so much since this is really between just you and him. but if its important that you get jewelry, then perhaps guide him in the right direction as to what you would like…….
Post # 9
We were going to do gifts to each other, but we were tapped out money-wise by the time the wedding rolled around. Then we thought we’d do love letters, but ran out of time. So in the end, I figured that the gifts we exchanged were our vows and our rings.
Post # 10
Here’s Miss Manners’ take on the situation (from the groom’s perspective). I like her suggestion that he plot with a female friend whose taste can be trusted when shopping for you.
Post # 11
As I have mentioned, I got my FI a puppy as a gift. And he got her 2 months prior. It was a surprise, until I couldn’t keep a secret any longer. I previously mentioned to him that I needed some earrings to wear on our wedding day, and sent him several different images of what I liked. He kind of got the idea. BUT, my grandmother wants me to wear her pearls. Now I have hinted around that something I really want is a piece of my fav italian photographers work. He again gets the idea. My friends FI had purchased a necklace and earrings and showed me and asked if it would look nice with her dress. which it did. so getting outside help along with you dropping hints should work.
Post # 12
My husband didn’t know until a friend didn’t get one on her wedding day and he heard her complaining about it. He got me the most amazing diamond earrings. I wore them in my second earring holes with my pearls that I had gotten on my own.
I think if you want to pick your wedding day stuff, get the major pieces (necklace & earrings) show them to him so he knows to get something that would match (bracelet or ring).
Post # 13
I’m a firm believer that gifts don’t need to be costly to be meaningful. He gave me a custom key chain with my own set of keys to his baby (aka sports car) with a note that said, "Now she’s OUR baby". As for my gift to him – one of our favorite TV shows to watch together is Bear Grylls’ Man vs Wild so I got him a canteen, a knife, and a flint stick with a note that said "To help you survive today" cause that’s usually all Bear has with him to survive during the show.
Post # 14
oh geez .. something else to worry about ?! 🙂
FI likes gadgets, so I might get him a new camera to use on the honeymoon (maybe one that goes underwater or something flashy). I know he wants a fancy watch, but I have no clue which one. I just know that it’s expensive, and if I’m going to drop serious $$, then I don’t want to get the wrong one! He is very picky. Might save that one for the 1st anniversary, because I definitely want his wedding gift to be a surprise.
Related funny story: my step dad was 1 hour late to his wedding to my mom because at the last minute someone said "so what are you giving to your bride?" and he said "WHAAAAAA?" he had no clue you were supposed to give a gift. So he went to the mall in his tux. Trust me – even my 8 year old self knew that my mom would have rather had him there ON TIME than out buying a gift!!
Post # 15
oh and – duh – to answer your question: I kind of think you do have to wear his gift that day if he does give you jewelry (unless it is obviously not formal enough for the occasion).
Post # 16
I gave hubs a gift, but he didn’t give me one. I was OK with it. (For real! I mean, I got the e-ring, so I really didn’t want him to spend more.)
It sort of came up once, I think I was reading an article and said "so, are we doing this giving each other gifts thing" and he was all, "HUHH??" like everyone else’s guy. I said "We don’t have to" and we never really discussed it much after that.
But I did want to get him something special (and I thought maybe he was doing that thing where he *says* he’s not getting you something ’cause he wants to throw you off but really he is…yeah, I totally over thought the whole thing), so I got him a pair of cufflinks from Tiffany’s. He was a little sad that I got him something and he didn’t get me anything, so if your guy is particularly sensitive, I strongly suggest a discussion about the whole topic. If you want something, say so, if you don’t, be clear about that too.
Turned out it was a good thing b/c one of the dang groomsmen showed up to get dressed and said, "What? We were supposed to bring those cheapy cufflinks and shirt studs?" (He left his set at home.) So since hubs had my gift, there was an extra set of links, and each guy "donated" a stud from the bottom of their shirts, so he at least had enough for the shirt portion visible above his vest!)
Sweeney, I’d say you should send a trusted friend to guide his shopping — either a friend of yours or of his. Have them say, "So, what are you getting her? I think she’d like —-" Give them a budget too, so they can tell him he’s going too crazy with the funds. Or, use the kids! One of my favorite TV commercials has this girl telling her dad that they totally need new kitchen stuff, and he goes, "Wow, really? Where do we go for that?" and she tell him…and then she goes out in the living room and the mom hands her money w/o even looking up from her magazine. Totally cracks me up. Yeah, "Mommy would look so pretty in this" is totally see-through, but at least it’s cute!