- 5 years ago
Maybe this is the wrong venue to get advice, but on the other hand, this seems like the place to ask these questions.
My girlfriend is obsessed with rings and marriage. It is now all that she talks about, and frankly I’m feeling neglected. It is almost as if she is more concerned about a rock (that I can barely afford.. She is looking at $7-8k) than me. We’ve had a rough 6 months, although we’ve been together for over 4 years. My finances are just starting to stablize and now I’m facing going back in debt to get a ring, then pay for the wedding, and then… whatever else. I feel like a millstone is around my neck. The more obsessed she gets with rings and showing them to me every day, the less she is doing anything else. She effectively has only a ring and marriage hobby and our relationship feels far emptier than it used to be.
On the other hand, it’s been 3 years and until the last year or so, when money and parents have left me feeling the worst I’ve felt in a decade, I honestly believed that we would make a great couple and complement each other’s strengths. Now, I’m finding that all of this marriage talk is off putting because it feels like we’re steaming full speed towards that when my own feelings and needs aren’t being met in this relationship. What I want is for our relationship to feel stronger before I jump into this and right now, especially in the past six months, I feel like it’s been weakened. She doesn’t seem to see this at all and whenever I bring it up, she says, “Everything is fine.. It’s not that bad!”… and by the end of the conversation I’m apologizing for bring upset.
What do you recommend I do? Is this just me being stupid? How can I get her to diversify her hobbies again and get back to being the full fledged, interesting person I love? I feel more and more like we are pulling apart as she is planning on us being together.