Post # 1
I’m going to a wedding soon where my boyfriend is part of the bridal party and I am not. I don’t want to be a rude guest but I’m not sure of the etiquette for this. I’ve made sure that my outfit is that of a guest and not of a member of the bridal party but how do I handle things like the bridal party table? I don’t think I should be included at the bridal party’s table, but I don’t want to spend most of the reception alone. The people attending the wedding that I know are all part of the bridal party. Any advice? I would really hate to mess up the day for the bride by being a rude guest. Should I just be prepared to make new acquaintances and spend most of the time without my boyfriend’s company?
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House
I’d be prepared to be without your Boyfriend or Best Friend for a little while at least, while he’s in pictures and eating with the bridal party. I think it’s really considerate that you’re thinking about how to best approach this!
Post # 4
I’ve been in your shoes and have been seated with my Boyfriend or Best Friend (there was no head table). At another wedding where I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man, there was a head table and my Boyfriend or Best Friend had to be seated elsewhere.
Keep in mind, you are only really sitting by yourself during the ceremony and during dinner.
If the bride & groom choose to have a head table and and you are assigned a different table – then be a gracious guest and plan to meet people during the dinner/seated part. It really won’t be ‘that’ long and you can dance the night away or mingle WITH your Boyfriend or Best Friend after the meal is served.
Post # 5
It sounds like you have a really positive attitude about this whole thing. At all the weddings I’ve been to, the bridal party has been seated together at the head table without guests. That means that as the girlfriend of a groomsman, you’ll probably end up at a table with people you don’t know as well. Usually people end up with their table mates only during the dinner portion of the evening, so just make some small talk and be friendly. Once the dinner’s over and dancing begins, you’ll be able to reconnect with your Boyfriend or Best Friend and friends in the bridal party.
Post # 6
I agree. Your boyfriend will be with the party for a bit and then once the dancing starts you can hangout. They will probably seat you with girlfriends of the other groomsmen. So mingle a little with them, while you wait.
Post # 7
How big is the wedding party?
First of all, I think is so kind of you to even ask opinions and not rant about it. 🙂
I ask how big the party because maybe the bride will opt to have you sit with them. I am doing that, but we have about 6 members on each side and I am seating the jr. Bridesmaid or Best Man and jr. GMs somewhere else with their friends so that makes it even less. I’ve been told if I don’t do it this way, half my wedding party will be elsewhere with their dates or SO. I don’t particularly mind in some cases, like for my BIL or FI’s SIL, its not that we didn’t want them in the wedding, but really have nothing for them to do. We might ask them to do a reading or something.
If she doesn’t seat you with the Bridal Party, then I would prepare to make new friends and try to have fun. I hope the bride does seat you with other gf’s or bf’s to make it less akward. 🙂 Good luck!
Post # 8
I’ve been in your situation, and honestly, it sucked. I didn’t know a single person and the table I was seated at was older adults that had no interest in talking with me. My Fiance was also sandwiched at the head table by two girls (and I mean girls – they were both under 18) that he had never met before. He was just as bored and lonely and ended up just getting up and moving a chair to sit with me. As far as before the ceremony, I tagged along with the guys (the groom had no problem with this and felt bad since I didn’t know anyone else and this we were from out of state) and then when going from the ceremony to the reception, I planned to just follow the limo but my Fiance ended driving with me since the limo was too cramped anyway.
For this reason, having been the loner before, I will definitely not being doing this with my wedding.
Post # 9
Thanks for the advice! The bridal party has six bridesmaids and six groomsmen. I don’t think the bride will seat me at the head table but I’m fine with that. I think I’d feel uncomfortable since I’m not part of the bridal party. I didn’t really consider that it’s only for the dinner part of the reception, I kind of thought it was for most of the reception. lol, but I don’t really have much experience with weddings.
What other duties are probably going to be expected of the groomsmen? (I’ve never really gone to a formal wedding or been close to anyone in a bridal party before this) I know his first priority is to be a groomsmen, so I guess I’m trying to figure out what he’ll need to do so I know what to expect. I’m kind of guessing that I won’t spend much time with him that weekend, but that’s okay. It’s just nice that he’s going to get to spend time with his cousins (who were his best friends growing up).
Post # 10
I suggest to my brides to do a sweetheart table and let the significant others of the bridal party be seated with them at reserved tables. The brides that I have loved the idea.
Post # 11
I have been the girlfriend of a groomsmen several times. It is much nicer when the bridal party is not seated at the head table, and this is what I am doing. However, I would be prepared to spend about 75% away from your boyfriend. There is the time before the ceremony, the ceremony, then pictures, then the introduction of the bridal party. I saw pictures from a wedding I attended as the girlfriend, there are no pictures of me and the boyfriend but plenty of pictures of me with other people. I would have been really uncomfortable if I had not know people there, so be sure to make some friends maybe the other groomsmen have girlfriends.
Post # 12
I was worried, from a bride’s standpoint, about our wedding party’s significant others (i had a boyfriend, fiance and wife to worry about. We ended up seating them at the reception with a few other college friends and they got along great!
We also had pictures done before the ceremony, so the significant others of the bridal party weren’t around, thus weren’t missing out or standing around alone while it was going on. A huge plus for pictures pre-ceremony.
Just be prepared to meet a few new people and try to enjoy yourself on your own. After the food is eaten, your Boyfriend or Best Friend will most likely be by your side the rest of the evening!
Post # 13
i really appreciate that you actually asked. at my wedding, one of the girlfriends tagged along for everything. the guys ended up having a big argument with the groomsman because his girlfriend was always underfoot.
most likely, if you are not going to be seated with your Boyfriend or Best Friend, you will be seated with other SOs. Take this opportunity to be social and meet new people. you’ll probably only have to do 30-40 minutes of small talk. ive sat with my hubby before and alone and the alone part really wasnt that bad. i made friends with the other girlfriends/wives and we ended up having a great time.
Post # 14
For this reason we’re not having a head table. Three members of our bridal party have girlfriends/boyfriends that don’t know anyone else but their significant other or our parents, and I don’t want to stick them at a table full of strangers, as I know that would fill me with anxiety. We’ll be seated with our parents, and probably Maid/Matron of Honor and the best man and his date.
Post # 15
WE didn’t have a head table for this reason. The dates of our briald party already had a bunch of time they were apart:
– getting ready before the ceremony
– the ceremony
-pictures after the ceremony
So basically quite a few hours of the day. We sat everyone with their dates and just had a bunch of tables around us, no head table!
However, since you might not be able to sit with him, one suggestion is to try and meet people while waiting for the ceremony, or right after it to socialize with a bit. 3 dates of our wedding party became drinking buddies during our picture taking time after the ceremony 🙂 ONe husband of my bridesmaid tagged along while we were taking pics, which was a little odd, but totally ok!
Post # 16
🙂 This is very resassuring. The more I think about it, it could be really cool to sit with other SOs of the bridal party. The groomsmen are all the groom’s brothers and close cousins. It could be fun comparing notes about the family we might marry into someday! lol