Post # 1
Have you experienced a different treatment from some of your girlfriends after you were married? Like they expect that you’ll be home with your husband most of the time now that you’re married so they don’t make as much of an effort to include you in their plans?
Some of my friends (work colleagues, high school teachers) are acting distant since my wedding. They are not married, don’t have boyfriends, and do not own a home. I, on the other hand, met my amazing boyfriend 3 years ago (online), we bought a loft last March, and we just got married! So we are living slightly different lives at the moment. These girls also complained about another girl at work who keeps talking about her wedding, husband and new home,. They can’t stand it. I, on my side, am careful to keep all that on the downlow because I know they don’t want to hear it.
What do you think it is? Envy, jealousy, whatever…? Are they good friends?
Post # 3
@Scintillante: I had some relationships that got most distant during my relationship with my husband. I just tried extra hard to make time for them and include them in my life (though at a certain point you have to give up). I think even if they are happy for you it can be hard to feel like the third wheel. My husband and I have tried especially hard to cultivate relationships with couples that we both enjoy. It takes more work because there as many as 6 relationships to deal with instead of just 1, but it is really fun when you find new couples that are fun to spend time with 🙂
Post # 4
We went from hanging out every weekend to once or twice a month. You just settle in and it’s a little different but since he’s my best friend, I don’t feel like I am missing out on anything.
Post # 5
Depends on the girl. Most of my girl friends were super excited and wanted to be involved and know all the details.
A couple of my other girlfriends, however, who have been in long-term relationships with their SOs and are yet to see a ring, definitely got more distant. I feel like jealousy definitely plays a factor there.
Which really sucks, since I’m always SUPER careful not to bring up/talk about wedding stuff unless I’m actually answering a direct question about it- I know it drives me nuts when people do that about their babies/pets, so I definitely avoid doing it about my wedding.
ETA: And it had nothing to do with making the other person feel like a third wheel. FI and I often spend time apart with our individual friends when one or the other of us is busy and can’t go out.
Post # 6
@WillyNilly: That’s a nice way to put it! 🙂
@MsCarabiner: Yes, having other couples to be friends with makes it easy. My husband and I give a lot of importance to spending time alone with our own friends. Like girls’ night out, boys’ night out. We have no problem with that! What’s happening is that my friends are assuming I won’t go out, when it’s not the case. As you said, after putting lots of effort into showing them that things are the same as before, I’m close to ready to give up. 😉
Post # 7
@rachelmichelle: Yes, that baby/pet talk can be SO annoying, unless you share that interest. Like you, I never spoke out openly about my wedding plans. Just with my close friends who were my bridesmaids and who had a genuine interest in it.
Thanks so much for your input!