Post # 1
i’m originally from the midwest but i now live in NYC with my fiance.
after living in here for almost 3 years and working in a high end salon for a year, i am blown away by the expectations girls/women have to get these ridiculous rings.
two girls i worked with (single not even in a relationship) straight up said “ew i wouldn’t accept a ring under 1.5 carats. i really want 2-3ct”
another one (who is is now married) is DIRT BROKE, can’t pay her bills, working 2 jobs, husband is on disability, but WOULDN’T ACCEPT ANYTHING LESS than a 2ct center tacori ring. including her wedding band she probably has close to 4ct TW if not more.
i worked there prior to being engaged but when going back in to get my haircut this summer, i unfortunately felt insecure when showing them my “small” .82 ct center.
my ring is not small and would probably be considered quite large where i’m from.
i just don’t understand why these girls feel like they’re “deserving” of these $20,000-$40,000 rings and that they would LAUGH at anything smaller?
it’s just such a strange thing. if you can AFFORD a huge rock, BY ALL MEANS GO FOR IT. i just don’t get the obsession with going WAYYYY above your means for a GINORMOUS ring. it’s such a pissing contest.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
I wouldn’t want to be engaged to one of those girls.
I have no idea why people are like that. Entitlement is all I can think of. That, and no concept of how much those rings actually cost.
Post # 4
I would imagine they have no understanding of what actual diamonds cost.
Post # 5
@LMD: i totally agree. now, let me clarify that i wouldn’t have turned down a bigger stone, but my fiance did the best he could in our current financial situation and that’s that! my ring is BEAUTIFUL and i absolutely love it.
i just can’t imagine being in love with one of these girls, wanting to marry them and having them say “well… you’re gonna have to save for 5 years or take out a loan because i won’t accept anything less than a 2ct ring”
and you’re right they TOTALLY have no idea the cost.
Post # 6
A small part of me was selfishly – yet secretly – hoping I would get a really huge knocker, at least 1.5 – 2 carats. FI could afford it, but he isn’t over the top. However when he presented me with my .58 solitare, I was genuinely happy. I know he took a very long time looking at and researching rings so he set a budget to get a smaller diamond of the highest quality. I am very happy with it.
So IMO looking back, I do agree with you. If you can afford it by all means GO FOR IT. If not, trade up later when you can do so!
Post # 7
@BeeinBoston: +1. It’s one thing when your SO is well off financially and you both discuss that you want something bigger. It’s quite another when you’re broke/in debt and you’re forcing the poor guy to drop A LOT of money. I feel bad for the guys in this situation.
Post # 9
@brooklyn_bee: I know what you mean. A girl I know, I heard that she told her boyfriend that the ring has to be at least 2 carats, in addition to an ultimatum regarding the deadline to propose. Well guess what, the deadline passed with no proposal and no 2 carat ring. She’s still waiting….
Post # 10
@ShabbyChicBee: i’m the same. when we initially discussed rings i said i would prefer something in that range. but being that we wanted to get engaged SOONER rather than later and that a ring that size is NOT in our current budget, i’m 100% happy with my ring.
i’m not opposed to upgrading in the future.
but, that being said, it’s really tacky to go around saying “ew” to anything smaller than a 1.5-3ct ring when 1) you’re not even in a relationship 2) love > money
get back to me when you’re madly in love with a dude that can’t drop $20k on a ring.
Post # 11
@brooklyn_bee: sure, a 2-3ct ring would be fantastic, although I’ve tried them on and feel completely ridiculous wearing them. I’m perfectly content with my 0.5ct centre 0.8 total weight and love it.
Post # 12
@Jewelieee: EXACTLY! if you’re ready and willing to wait 10 years, go ahead. ask for a $20k ring. but if you want to get engaged in a year and expect your man to drop money he straight up doesn’t have, it’s a really shitty position to put him in.
i just look at my friend who now has the 2ct tacori + serious wedding band BUT cannot pay her bills and i’m like… ?!!?! to back up her personality though, she had to buy herself louboutins, a louis vuitton, tory burch stuff, tacori earrings, etc for her 30th birthday because she needed to make her SIL jealous. she’s just so competitive and jealous like that.
Post # 13
@brooklyn_bee: I’ve never understood going above one’s means for an e-ring either, but I chalk it up to 2 things: (1) NYC is crazy place — the standard of what is “normal” here is severely skewed. (2) Girls that place such importance on the size of an e-ring feel that the size of their ring directly correlates to how much their FI loves them and need to have a visual validation of how great their relationship is.
Post # 14
Yeah no Sh!t. Those sweet little child brides have a very long way to go in life.
Post # 15
Would I refuse a 2ct? Absolutely not. Do I EXPECT a 2 ct? ABSOLULTEY NOT. It’s the meaning behind it all that’s what matters.. :/
Post # 16
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
I feel like it’s partially a regional thing. I live in the midwest and personally don’t know anyone with a ring over 1 carat. Most are not over 0.5 carat for the center stone.
However, FBIL lives in NYC and told us he wishes he could “get away with proposing with a ring that size”…he felt very pressured to live up to what he felt is expected of him. His FI got a ~1-1.5 carat center stone with a halo, diamond band, in platinum. I think his FI chipped in on the ring to get what she wanted, which is fine! That’s their choice. But I definitely get the feeling from FBIL that he hates the expectations out there and how expensive everything for their wedding is as well. I think he’s getting a little sick of living there in general though, so he’s a bit biased against NYC at this point. I really mean no offense to anyone – this is just his POV that he told me and FI.
There have been some similar posts around the Bee about regional ring carat size etc. I think that’s where a lot of people get their expectations. It’s what they’re seeing and hearing in their region.