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I had a friend who once made up a little white lie that she was on a medication that didn't mix with alcohol, so she couldn't partake. No one really thought much of it other than the fact that this girl likes her wine, and normally that wouldn't have stopped her ;)
When my best friend was in early pregnancy we had a girl's weekend in NYC. She claimed to have a raging bladder infection and said she was on antibiotics so she couldn't drink. I didn't believe her (I knew she and her hubby were ttc) but the rest of the girls did and it wasn't an issue.
Yeah, I think medication is probably your best cop out. Antibiotics should take the fall nicely. ;-) And *fingerscrossed* early congratulations!
I would pull the medication card then say you'll have just one and go get a faux drink @ the bar that looks real. That way it won't arise any suspisions if you usually drink.
AWESOME! I didn't even think the medication route! I was all ready to tip the bartender - this is much better!
personally I think the antibiotics/medication lie is usually a pretty obvious indicator someone is pregnant :) i think being in cahoots with waiters/bartenders in restaurants /bars to bring you virgin drinks is the best way to avoid attention to the fact that you are not drinking. all other excuses usually will cause your friends to guess.
If you go the bartender/waitress route make sure you get a separate check! I tried this once and the waiter threw my drinks on the group tab, the check comes to our table and the girls saw "virgin margarita" all over it! I was totally busted.
I don't drink when I'm about to get my period because it gives me migraines. People here migraines and period and they usually don't want to talk about it, but if you're with a bunch of girls it might not work. I say blame antibiotics. :)
my husband and i are trying, but i'm not pregnant and was on medication last weekend so i couldn't drink.. they teased me of course asking if i was prego, but i just denied it and everyone went about their business
Don't use the antibiotic excuse - most people know that alcohol isn't actually contraindicated when using the majority of common antibiotics ...
I don't know how to keep your friends from knowing. Last Xmas hubby and I went out to dinner with our usual group of friends/spouses. One of our friends ordered water and said she was on medication. Of course everyone thought "Pregnant!" She made such a big deal about keeping it a secret that night it was almost funny because although we were happy for them, we all have our own lives and I don't think anyone cared as much as she thought we would. I think the more you try to hide it the more obvious you'll be and the bigger deal people will make. I would just say "we're trying to get pregnant" and they'll probably forget in 5 minutes. There may be others in your boat.
I realize that you aren't ready to announce it to the world, but faking wine sips and sneaking to the bar seems like a lot of work, and pretty dramatic for what may be nothing. If you are THAT uncomfortable with telling people and you think it's going to be an issue-I would just skip girls weekend. I just found out I was preggers a few weeks ago, went to my usual happy hour with co-workers and when they asked why I wasn't drinking I was totally against playing the "medication/water game" because of my previous experience with our friends. I said I was pregnant, everyone said congrats and the conversation moved on.
The faux drinks sounds like a great idea... BUT, what if you are pregnant. When you tell the girls later down the road they may think you were really drinking...just something to think about. if you go with the medicine excuse, make sure you can come up with an antibiotic name in case they ask what you are taking (if ur friends are anything like mine, they would ask what med. I was taking). Good luck honey!!! Keep us posted on how it goes!!!
I think its also fair to just say, We are TTC and therefor I am not drinking to prepare my body.
Do you have a medication you've recently finished?
I'm not TTC but I was on medication for the last week (infected bee sting. Seriously. Pathetic.)
I REALLY wanted an excuse to leave early so I made sure to take my meds in front of them and then when I wanted to leave I said that the meds plus the alcohol were giving me an upset stomach (diarrhea was a side effect so I know even the DR there wasn't doubting it, since I told her what I was taking!)
If you could just put some asprin or something in there (something you can take while preg) and just be sure to take one in front of them from a medicine container, that would help your case. Maybe do the meds thing the first night, claim the one drink (that they don't know was virgin) upset your stomach, and then if there are other nights you can just say you didn't like how it made you feel the other night so you're not drinking alochol.
I'm such a sad liar. This makes me look like a psychopath!!! But yea I'm really nosey and hate when ppl are in my business so I spend time on it.
I am preggers and was at my sister's bparty. I hadn't told the family so I got all of my drinks at the bar, told the bar tender what was up, they gave me virgin drinks AND I was able to pay at the bar so nobody was the wiser.
Good luck!
Gees, is it bad that my first thought was, "blame it on your husband!" like "Oh, he asked me not to drink this weekend..." (although I guess in reality that wouldn't fly with my friends, or probably yours!)
Metronidazole (Flagyl) is an antibiotic that should NEVER be mixed with alcohol due to severe side effects. I had to take this for dental problems before and had to stay off drinking for two weeks each time. So even though the medication lie may be suspicious to people, it does happen and it's not that far out there.
Personally I would go the 'virgin' drinks route - get them yourself and pay at the bar and if your friends offer to get you something tell them you're taking a break and ask for a coke or sprite or something. I'm not pregnant but I rarely drink alcohol all night these days - maybe one non-alcoholic drink for every two alcoholic drinks on a night out. Your friends might not get suspicious if you're drinking soda or water for part of the night as long as they think you're drinking cocktails the rest of the time!
Have fun either way!
Volunteer to DD, drink diet coke and tell them you're watching your calories. I know this sounds lame but it is legit and everyoone loves a willing DD!
Say you hurt your back and you're on muscle relaxers. You really can't drink with those.
When I was pregnant, I tried to fake it by pretending to drink and even having my sister cover for me. It didn't work and people started asking me if I was pregnant. I should've gone the medication route. As long as you have something to back up your story like a name of the perscription, I think you're better off.
I'd probably say "i might be, but we're not sure, i'm playing it safe" and leave it at that. My friends know me too well. I figured something was up when my one friend wasn't drinking and ordered vegetable sushi but we knew she was TTC. It wasn't weird to know that about them. Like flamingred said, you move on in like, 2 minutes =].
thanks for all the tips girls!
I'm really really not ready to even tell them we are even TTC. I know its not that big of a deal to tell them, but again, we do NOT want to share that with anyone. Yes they are my friends and I love them to pieces, but even them I don't want to share this with. And I'm not trying to be "dramatic" with them about it. Now skipping girls weekend, as someone suggested,now that would just be ridiculously dramatic, and there's no way I'd miss our one weekend a year we all get together.
Thank you again for all the great feedback- awesome!
@honeycakes: Everyone should decide for themselves if they want to share that they are TTC or pregnant. I managed to spend New Year's Eve with my very best friends when newly pregnant and I faked them all out (fake drinking, it was easy. hrader to do at a restaurant but very easy in a casual environment).
This is interesting because I haven't really thought about what I will do when we are TTC. My friends would def notice if I was not drinking I think. Although they will all know when we are TTC because I tell them all the time (serious baby fever over here) and I have it written on a post-it and in my google calendar (yes, i'm insane).
There are ppl that I go to happy hour with now that wouldn't know all of that though, more casual friends. I like the "watching my calorie intake" idea, haven't heard that one before. I understand not wanting to tell everyone yet because seriously, maybe the convo would change in 2 minutes then, but they will most likely ask about how it's going all the time. And, that is annoying and frustrating if it isn't going well IMO.
I went the fake drinking/sipping route. Anything else would have been suspicious to my friends and we really weren't ready to tell anyone. In retrospect, no one was keeping track of the days and they never thought I was drinking while pregnant.
Do what you feel is right. Everyone has a different comfort spot. For me, it involved having no one suspect anything.
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I'm going on a girls weekend trip and i *may* be pregnant. The earliest I could test would be the day I leave for the trip. Even then a negative could be false.
I don't want to tell them. Yet they are all going to highly suspicious if I don't partake in Margarita time with them. I'm already devising little plans to sneak to the bar alone and ask the bartender to put sprite in a short glass so it looks like a cocktail. Or order a glass of wine and just secretly dump sips when no one's looking. Faux sip?
I don't want to tell them because we're just not ready to share with the world we're thinking about having a family. We really want to keep it private for a little while.
Any advice?