Post # 1
I’m in the process of considering getting engaged to my boyfriend of 8 years. I am 23 and he is 25. I am currently in graduate school, which is being funded by my very generous parents, and my boyfriend has been working at a well-paying job in finance for 3 years.
Basically my question is to other girls who are my age when they decided to get engaged, what were the circumstances of your life when you decided to make that huge decision? Did you have fears, and if so, what did they relate to?
Anybody who was engaged around 23 and has gotten married, are you happy with your decision or would you have changed it in hindsight?
I’ve already written 3 boards on this website and you all have helped me SO much so far, so i really appreciate your words of wisdom in advance! Desperately trying to work through my feelings/thoughts/life/ideas/etc. before making this decision.
Post # 3
I was 22 (almost 23) when I married my husband. I worked full time, took classes at night. He is in the military and lived out of state. We would fly back and forth every couple of months. Being in the military we could’nt live together until we were married. This was not the only reason we got married but it definitely was a factor. Here I am now.. been married over a year moved across the country and I honestly couldn’t be happier. I love him more than anything in world. I knew he would be my forever and honestly love everyday of my life with him. No regrets.
Post # 4
@jmv2013: Been together almost 6 years, engaged for almost 1. I finished my masters, and he was working on his Phd at a different school (9 hours away). I wanted to move up to be with him and try to find a job there, but on the condition that moving in meant moving towards marriage. It was time. I was ready to start my life as a married couple, not just as a live in girlfriend. We’re having a 2 year engagement, but because he is still in school. Part of me wishes I got engaged a year earlier and maried a year earlier, but life throws you curveballs and I am definitely glad we are waiting until 2014 due to other issues (family illness, unemployement, etc) but we coulnd’t have known that when we planned it this way. But overall I am excited! My mom was married when she was 23, 6 month engagement after dating for a year, and still married!
Post # 5
I was 23 (and still am) when me and my FI got engaged. I was in my last semester of college. My FI already graduated college a few years ago. I was working roughly 30 hours/week and finishing up my classes. I graduated in early May this year, and now am working full time. He has been working full time for the past two years. I have no debt except for student loans, and the only debt he has is on my engagement ring, which will be paid off a month before our wedding, so we will start our marriage with only student loan debt.
Post # 6
I got engaged at 19 (so slightly younger) was in my junior year of undergrad and am graduating this year and starting grad school for speech pathology. FI is graduating this winter and has many good job offers (at the time we weren’t sure what he would do). There were tons of fears about where I’d go to school, where FI would get a job, etc but we had a longer engagement (19 months) and it has worked out perfectly! Bought a house in our hometown where I’m going to grad school and he has a full time job. There will always be worries but we knew together we could figure anything out and I couldn’t be happier!
Post # 7
I was 22 when we got engaged. Fiance finished up school and has a well paying job. I am finishing up school and will be graduated in March. I have been interning at the same company for three years and they have offered me a job. We were going on three years together when we got engaged, and will be together for 5 by the time we finally get married. We will have no debt (cars, housing, student loans, ring all paid for). The reason we are having a 2 year engagement is so I can be done with school and so we can also pay for our whole wedding ourselves.
Post # 8
I was 22 when I got engaged, 23 when I got married!
When we got engaged, I had finished college, had been in the work force full-time for four years (my last two years at college were done while working full-time). I owned a little place in Vermont that was being rented for extra income (DH and I live in Boston).
I sound way more put-together on paper, though! I promise!
ETA: DH is six years older. His life was SUPER on-track. He’d been with his company for 5 years, in middle-management making TONS of money, savings, investments, retirement all lined up and ready to go…
Post # 9
I was 1 month away from turning 23 when we got engaged. I was also a month away from graduating college, I had already accepted a position for after graduation, we had been dating for 4 years, lived together for 3. My SO was 28 and in a stable job, while I was in college he did his best supporting us and our 2 fur babies. Its now 1 year, 3 months later- we’ve been married 3 months and life is pretty much perfect. I have no regrets and I wouldnt change anything 🙂
Post # 10
I am 23 and engaged. I was 22 when we got engaged after dating for a little over 3 years and living together for 6 months. We had both graduated college in the spring and that was what we wanted to do before we got engaged. Although we both struggled with finding jobs, we still wanted to make that committment to each other. I have full time employment now, and so does FI. We are on our way and paying for a lot of the wedding ourselves. We aren’t where we want to be financially, but we are working on it together and feel the need to be married dispite the hardship. We are making it and employed so what better time than now?
Neither of us have regrets and we are looking forward to finally being husband and wife!
Post # 11
I’m 23. Married three weeks before turning 23.
I work and don’t go to school. My husband is 28 and both works and goes to school. I wouldn’t change anything. Honestly? When we weren’t married and were boyfriend and girlfriend living together.. it was the same as now, except that now we have the title and it feels a little more… I don’t know, solid?
if you can manage to get a job and survive without your parents… go for it!!
Post # 12
I was 21 when I got engaged and married and I’m 23 now. I was just shy of graduating college when we got engaged. We got engaged in October and I graduated in January. I was working full time student teaching (but the actual job that I got paid for was officially as an assistant teacher). I was making about $15,000 and was living at my mom’s since I commuted to college from home for 2 1/2 years (my freshman year was spent studying abroad for credits, so from start to finish I was in undergrad for 3 1/2 years). My husband was living in New York in a house with friends and working a job that he hadn’t even gone to school for.
In my culture/religion it is expected that you will get married young. Some of my friends are lucky because they have their parents to support them. Well, I shouldn’t say lucky. I much prefer to be able to take care of myself and not play house. But they are forunate that they have parents who are willing and able to take care of them to that extent. That was not to be the case with my husband and I so I hustled. We got married in February and in March I got a full time teaching position for double the salary. (That salary didn’t kick in until August when I started school so that spring and summer were extremely rough.) While we are still struggling somewhat and my mom helps us a little (like we go over for dinner sometimes), $30,000 is a lot more doable than $15,000.
My husband has had some trouble finding a job down here because he had become turned off from his field after college and was trying to get started in all these different fields. Now that we are moving to a different state in two weeks things are looking up. I am working at a new school, I got a sizable pay increase, and my husband is going to be getting an internship in the field he originally went to school for (can’t convince my husband of anything, like to actually use his degree, he has to come to it on his own). Even though many people might not agree with us getting married when we did, it was natural for us because of our religion/culture. We are growing up together and we are creating an extremely stable foundation for our future. Everything keeps looking up for us as the years pass on and I know we have a great future ahead of us. I was scared senseless when we first got engaged even though I knew I was doing the right thing. I’m glad we got married when we did and we’ve both helped each other grow as people more than I could ever imagine.
Post # 13
I also got engaged a little younger (19, DH was 23 at the time). He had finished his accounting degree & was in between jobs. I was in my 2nd year of undergrad. I didn’t really have any fears or concerns; we’d already been together for 3 years already & knew we’d be together for a long time.
We got married 2 years later, by that point he was settled at his (well-paying) job & working on his accounting designation while I had graduated from my 1st degree and in my 1st year of law school.
We’re now 23 & 27 and expecting our first baby in january & I’ll be graduating from law school in april. Looking back on it, I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m so pleased with how the past few years have gone. I feel as if our love for one another has grown so much stronger over the years. No regrets on our part 🙂
Post # 14
@jmv2013: I am 22 now (turning 23 in October right after the wedding), and got engaged last summer. I was already out of school with a full time job and FI is 30 and has a full time job with the state. We lived on our own and were financially joint and dependent on ourselves.
While I know marriage is a huge step, I couldn’t be more excited for the wedding next month and I know without a doubt that FI is meant to be my husband and share a life with me. No cold feet yet 😉
i will say, if you are feeling doubts or feeling pressured, don’t do it. You have plenty of time and should be completely comfortable before making such a huge commitment.
Post # 15
We were 24 and 25 when we got married, basically the reason we got married is because we were planning to continue to be together anyways (we had already been together 7 years) so getting married just made it offical per say. I don’t know its hard to explain, it just felt right.
Post # 16
@jmv2013: I personally don’t understand why anyone under the age of 25 wouldwant to get married or be in a long term relationship. I was in one at that age and engaged we split but I just wish I had explored more and kept my options open and Im glad we didn’t get married. The longer you wait the better. I mean people change what I wanted back then certainly is not what I want now and I just don’t think many people really give the,selves the chance to get to know themselves and to grow and mature as a person before making that decision. But that’s just my take on it based on what I have experienced.