- 3 years ago
Hello everyone! This is my first post so I’ll try and explain my situation as best as I can….
I’m 28, he’s 30. We’ve been dating for 5 years. We bought a house last year together. He’s told me since the early months that he didn’t believe in marriage. I freaked out and told him then I cannot even start dating you etc. and he said, no he would get married he was kidding, but he’s always kind of weird about it. About 2 years ago I had a freakout moment because he made a comment insinuating he never wanted to move in or get married and doesn’t understand why people do.
I told him calmly that he wasted my time and I needed a break. He freaked out and pretty much begged me to stay telling me he wants to buy a house with me if that’s what it will take. We started looking for houses and everything was so much better. I’ve made comments to him like, “I’m only buying a house knowing that we will eventually get married” and he agreed. We found our house and moved in in August 2013. I honestly thought he would propose very soon after because everything was going so well. He was being super cute and asking me wedding questions here and there which were usually forbidden.
Well here I am over 6 months later with no sign of a ring coming. I’m starting to be resentful. I go into these nightly funks where I just feel bad for myself and usually cry in the shower without him knowing. I just hate brining it up because I feel like I’m ruining the proposal if it ever does happen. I don’t want to force him into anything.
The other night I had a heart to heart with him and I told him I’m almost ready to move on. He seemed competely shocked and said not to worry he has a “plan…” He said he just gets major anxiety about anything wedding and doesn’t know what to do. He said he planned to do it in December but couldn’t because he panicked months before. I don’t know if I even believe that or if he was just saying that to shut me up. He knows where I stand because I made sure I was clear. He doesn’t seem to understand the time aspect at all. He says, “Whats the rush, we’re happy, right?” I don’t know. I’m confused. Should I sit with him again and give him a timeline? Or, since I just talked about it with him and he supposively has this “plan” should I wait until summer and revisit? It’s so stressful!!