- 5 years ago
Okay. The ring. MY ring. I know he has it, I think he knows that I know…(I’m not sure on that) and I’m starting to get the impression my parents know, too.
EVERY time something special comes up (a trip alone, a fancy dinner, my birthday…) I keep thinking “THIS IS IT!!” and it never is. At this point if he just threw it at me like a BASEBALL when I was slugging around on the computer I’d choke to death on tears of joy. This is going to sound supremely stupid, but I keep charging my camera and have been equally as neurotic about having my cell phone charged (for its camera) in case “it happens” and I do not have my nicer camera available.
I may be a freak when it comes to wanting to capture that special moment. I haven’t told him anything about that desire to take “moment of engagement” pictures though, so I don’t even think he is aware that the weird device in the wall is my ever-charging camera battery.
This year we have been to the Bahamas, Austin, TX (a beautiful, artsy city that I love), and we took a trip to Northern California (there is a special place in my heart for California and he knows that). We’re about to take a trip to Cedar Point this weekend (he has never been, I have, and we both love roller coasters) and I thought, yet again, “THIS IS IT!!” I asked him, somewhat coyly, if I should bring my camera and he shrugged and said, “Nah, a theme park is a stupid place for that. It’ll get broken or something.”
So I’ve kind of stopped thinking Cedar Point will be “it.” Now, my birthday is the following weekend and so I thought, “THAT WILL BE IT!!”
Surprise. Wrong again. Be miserable SOME MORE, Izzypig. Last night he gave me my birthday present (against my will and a week early…He said, “I just couldn’t wait for you to have it!”) and it was NOT THE RING. I feel awful because it is an AMAZING present but I’m so obsessed with WHEN he’s going to actually propose that I feel I can’t properly appreciate anything else.
I actually think beating my own head against a wall until I gave myself an idiot’s concussion would be more PHYSICALLY TOLERABLE than this waiting game I’ve been playing by myself like a crazy person for half a year. We have everything planned. Financially, emotionally, how we want to raise children, the fact that we both WANT children, even most details of our AS OF NOW MAKE-BELIEVE wedding (which, shockingly, he cares more about than I do. I’m more about the symbol of commitment than a day-long ceremony)…all of that is planned!
Considering he gave me that gift a week early, maybe he IS going to give me the ring on my birthday? OR MAYBE I’M JUST GOING TO LOSE MY MIND. I’VE KNOWN ABOUT THIS STUPID, BEAUTIFUL ROCK FOR MONTHS.