Post # 1
FI is moving in on Sunday, just less than 9 weeks before the wedding. I just moved into the home two months ago and am not fully unpacked (the shame, I know… and I’m busting my butt this week), so it’s not either of our homes, we picked it out together. And luckily, it is BIG with each of us having our own space (my office, his man cave).
Give me some practical tips for moving in together though! I’ve been on my own for 9 years and him for 5, so we both have full households of stuff and have started a garage sale stash. We’ve also discussed how we have to be really calm with each other over the next 9 weeks and not let little stuff bug us during this crazy lead up to the wedding.
Post # 3
Figure out who does what. Make a list of the chores and divide it up So both of you have clear expectations of what needs to get done, how frequently, adNd who is responsible.
for us, FI loves to cook but HATES (with a fiery passion) washing dishes so I wash and he dries.
Be patient. It will not be the same as living alone or spending a whole weekend together. You will make each other nuts 🙂 there is a learning curve. Be nice to each other, be considerate, and be honest (but polite) when something is making you cranky
Post # 4
If you move something that belongs to the other person, make sure they know where it is.
Agree on a morning routine. I used to get so mad when FH would take a shower and lock my toothbrush inside the bathroom. Make sure you know who is getting up, and when, and who needs to shower first, etc.
Keep in mind there are multiple things you will each have on your must-do chore list, and things that each of you consider nice-to-have, and these will not be the same. You may need to do dishes daily, and he doesn’t. He may need to keep the yard really nice, while you don’t care.
Post # 5
My first thought was to make an inventory of what each of you already has and what you want brought from each separate household into the shared household.
The PP is spot on about expectations on chores and household obligations, especially if you each have different styles of housekeeping (I’m a much more cluttered person that my partner, so there’s been a lot of adjusting between us on that). Make allowances though on things that aren’t the end of the world – accept that each of you is going to have habits that drive the other nuts (toothpaste left open, certain foods in the cupboard instead of the fridge, putting things away in the wrong cupboard, whatever) and decide which you can live with.
Totally amazing that you’ll each have your own space. That will help *so* much in adjusting to fully shared space.
Post # 6
Be honest with each other that there are going to be issues that arise as you both readjust to living with another person (especially leading up to something as huge as your wedding), and have a plan for how to resolve them.
And….. ENJOY it! Living with the man your love will be a whole lot of fun and loveliness!
Post # 7
@NAvery: Put some painter’s tape down the middle of the bedroom but be sure to tape off the closet side for you. Don’t let him on your side of the room under any circumstances or the next thing you know he’s going go to be getting into your stuff.
My fiance and I also switch up the kitchen duties. So, when I cook he cleans and vice versa. When we make big meals and big messes we tag team it. It’s nice for us because one of us really gets to just chill out and relax after a long day.
Post # 8
Learn to be patient and how to compromise.
Post # 9
@kerensa: Great tip. We’re really lucky in that FI likes to shower/primp at night and I shower/primp in the morning. And I work from home (one of the reasons we need a larger home), so I don’t have to stress about getting out the door at a certain time and he’s all up in the mirror.
Great tips on housekeeping, I hadn’t even thought about that much. When I lived with a roommate in the past, I was the neat one and she was the messy one, and we were able to work it out pretty well. FI and I also agreed that if we have any disagreements over housekeeping, we’ll just have a cleaner come in every two weeks (Okay… I’m sounding spoiled… I know. Sorry!! Eek.)
Post # 10
I would say to make sure that your expectations are not too high! There will definitely be an adjustment period (that may or may not be rocky), but just give it some time! It takes some getting used to, but it’s nice! 🙂
Post # 11
We have a cleaner every two weeks. Best damn thing ever!!!!!!!!!
Post # 12
Compromise! It also helps if one of you is less attached to your stuff than the other one. FI LOVED his furniture/art, and I was only partial to mine. So most of his stuff won!
Post # 13
When my fiance and I moved in together we tried to talk about everything beforehand: finances and bill paying, cleaning, cooking, space, and how it would change our relationship. After we moved in together we decided to sit down every Sunday for the first month to talk about how things were good, the good, the not so good, and anything that was really bothersome.
After having living together for a year now I would really focus on talking about cleaning. My expectations of cleanliness are higher so I end up cleaning more…however, I can’t remember the last time I had to take out the garbage and I usually come outside to find the snow on my car already brushed off… so I guess things balance out in some ways.
Post # 14
This may sound a little weird but my advise would be plan an activitiy for yourself where you are out of the house and doing your own thing for a little while and vis versa. I know even though I love spending time with my FH sometimes it’s just nice to have the house to yourself for just a little while.
Post # 15
i’d say dont let the small things get the best of both of you.. ask yourself if it is worth fighting about XYZ things.. for instance (i read this from another bee from another post) his feet on the coffe table, does it need to be there? NO, is it a big deal?, NO. so dont fight about it.. it doesnt really change the relationship…
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
Oooo excellent question! Commenting so I can follow 🙂