Post # 1
I’m in a predicament… I’ve been planning a destination bachelorette party for my best friend, and the trip is coming up in 2 weeks now. Throughout this process we’ve had quite a few people say they were coming, and then bail (as is common when coordinating any group event, I suppose). Anyways, we made our plans according to who had actually paid upfront, plus one or two others who we thought were definites. Then about a month ago, those supposed “definites” withdrew. We didn’t have their money so no harm no faul, though the price per person increased a bit. At this point, after talking to a bunch of those still going, I sent an email letting everyone know that if we had recieved your money, we assumed you were committed, and from that point on if anyone bailed they would not get their money back. I never heard any complaints, etc…
Now, today, I received emails from two separate girls who aren’t able to come for whatever reason. Neither are asking for their money back, but I can’t help but feel bad that they have to pay for a trip they’re not going on. At the same time, it’s not fair to put everyone else out 2 weeks before the trip.
SO, sorry for the rant… But I guess I just wanted to hear others’ opinions on what they would do in this situation. Should I feel bad for not giving them their money back (do you think I should, and subsequently have each girl pay even MORE)? Or should I leave it as is, since they’ve had plenty of time to plan and they committed?
Post # 3
How many are going? I’d ask the group and see how everyone felt (since it would affect all involved). I agree that it’s sucks that they’d have to pay for a trip they can’t go – but it sounds like you were clear about the arrangements and they made their decision with that knowledge.
Post # 4
I think it depends on their reason. If it is like, “yeah, we are going someplace that weekend” or “I have a birthday party for my mother I have to attend”…well, oh well. You should have planned better. If it’s like, my loved one just passed away suddenly and the funeral is that weekend, well then, yeah, I’d return their money.
Post # 5
I’d talk to the people who are still going, maybe you all could swing giving half back? If not, I’d get over your feelings since they knew ahead of time that their money would be gone forever. They can consider it a present to the bride! That’s what I would tell myself if I had to bail.
Post # 7
I think I would see if I could return any money to them. Like if you are planning on getting show tickets can you buy one less and return the cost of the ticket?
So stuff that hasn’t been purchsed and doesn’t affect the cost per item. Can food costs be altered since they won’t be eating.
But if the money has already been spent then I think their money is gone and not refundable.
Post # 8
Maybe this sounds bitchy but I say too bad for them. I have gone through this kind of crap way too many times. I hate having to pay more than I have committed to just because people bail.
Post # 9
Well, first I have to ask if all of your plans (I assume hotel, reservations, perhaps even plane tickets) are refundable or able to be changed or cancelled without penalty?
I know that for hotel reservations, if you are a certain amount of weeks out, they will still cancel without penalty, unless you received some sort of “web special”.
If it’s a show ticket of some kind, you could try and sell that on Craigslist, maybe?
I guess you could have put in a deposit for a shore house of some kind, too. In that case, what are the policies on that?
If there is a way to change your plans to accomodate what seems to be a much smaller group, I feel like you should definitely give them their money back. Even if they don’t say something, and even if they did cancel kind of last minute, I don’t think they should be paying for that. They are honored guests of the bride and who knows, she might be unhappy about it, too.
Never know what kind of drama money conversations may cause so be wary.
Post # 10
It sounds like you made yourself perfectly clear in the email you sent out, saying that if anyone backed out now, they wouldn’t get their money back. However, I agree with @BackyardLoveBird: that it should be based on the circumstances as to why they’re not going anymore. If something came up with work, oh well to bad so sad. If someone’s in the hospital, talk to the other girls and see what you can do to get her money back to her or at least half.