- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2009
Since I was in high school, I have had a difficult time developing a strong relationship with my sister. She is 3 years younger than me, and was also raised very differently. After my parents divorced, I moved in with my dad, she stayed with my mom. My mom is what one would refer to as an enabler. She has been giving in to my sisters needs and desires ever since she was little. That obviously got worse once my dad left. So sis is used to being told that her feelings are always right, and she acts on them, not caring how she may or may not affect others. She is used to getting her way, and if she doesn’t, she gets mad, and will stop talking to you.
Regarding our relationship, it does not take much for her to get mad at me, and stop talking to me. I do not understand this because I have been trying hard to be there for her, and build a relationship with her. She explodes over literally nothing at all. Some key examples:
– Three holidays ago, I asked her to help with the dishes at my dad’s. I was doing all of the work. She pretty much always needs to be asked to do anything. She never offers. She exploded, and said I was being demanding. She wouldn’t talk to me for the rest of the trip.
– My husband and I taught overseas for a year and a half. My mom offered to babysit our dog for us. Sis became really attached, and wanted to keep the dog. She was living at her own place, finishing grad school; she wasn’t a child. She actually went so far as to take the dog from my mom and hide her at a friend’s house. She wouldn’t talk to me for 3 + months after my husband and I got the dog back. To this day, she still talks about how she is going to kidnap our dog.
– A couple of years ago, sis developed a crush on one of my husband’s friends. It did not go well, and she expected hubs and I to stop talking to said friend. He wasn’t even really in the wrong, she was. She stopped talking to us for like 6 months over that one.
– Most recently, she came up for xmas, stayed with us for 4 nights, and honestly we had a good time for once. I tiptoed on egg shells to make SURE nothing went wrong. Well there was a winter storm, and she’s obsessed with work, so very unfortunately her flight got cancelled. She freaked out because she NEEDED to get home to get back to work. She expected me to drive her 3 hours to another airport, so that she could fly out sooner. I of course told her no, I would not drive her in a snow storm. SHe hung up on me, and I haven’t heard from her since. Who knows how long it will take for her to start talking to me again.
I am sure there are plenty of other examples, but the ones above stand out the most. I am just so tired of her anger and entitlement. I give and give and give, and there’s never much in return. She’s not a child. She’s in her mid twenties. I feel like she acts very childish. I just feel so hurt by her, and I have to ask myself, when is enough enough?? Should I give up on this one-sided relationship?