Post # 1
Just out of curiosity- do you think someone invited to a wedding who does not attend the wedding should always send a gift anyway? sometimes? never necessary?
(I plan on sending gifts to couples who invite us even if we can’t attend the weddings, but it’s still interesting to see bees’ thoughts on this.)
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
In general, yes, but I also think it’s situational. On the reverse side, although I think guests should send a gift when not attending, I don’t think a bride and groom should expect such a gift or be surprised when one doesn’t come.
Post # 4
I generally send a card with a smaller check, just to say that I’m remembering their special away even though I can’t be there. My friends are scattered, so I can’t always make it to every wedding
Post # 5
Certainly isn’t required to send a gift, and if the bride and groom are expecting a gift then they’re big giant @$$holes, honestly. But it is certainly a nice gesture — so I voted “depends on closeness.” I’d happily send a gift if friends were getting married and i couldn’t make it, but if a high school acquaintance sent me an invite and I wasn’t even sure why I was invited in the first place, I would just write something nice on the RSVP card as I declined and then be done with it.
Post # 6
I usually send something if I can’t attend. If I am close to them I will send a gift. If I am not particularly close to them it may be a card with a check or gift card.
Post # 8
I’ve turned down 1 wedding invite and it was for a guy I grew up with but had absolutely no friendship with anymore. Our parents were friends, and he lived a few houses down from me. I didn’t send a gift, but now that I look back at it, I think I should have given a little something.k
Oh and the few people who said no to my wedding didn’t send us gifts.
Post # 9
I’ve had to turn down a wedding invite before and because it was someone I was pretty close to, I sent a gift of around $60.
Post # 10
Oh and, yes, I agree with PPs, I’ve never even thought to “expect” gifts at all and definitely not from ppl we invited who couldn’t come. I was more wondering from the invitee perspective. What bees have said about whether their invitees who didn’t attend sent gifts or not is still interesting of course (it’s about the same topic – whether invitees send gifts or not).
Post # 11
Gifts are never required, but if you’re invited you should at least send a card. And if I were close with the couple, I’d also send a gift.
Post # 12
@Shkragoldfish: I think you are “supposed to” but we don’t, especially when I know I was a B List invitee. If I can’t go (or don’t want to), then I am not taking up space at your venue or eating your food. I don’t feel obligated to give a gift. Maybe you “should” but I am saving money for my own wedding – I can’t afford to give gifts for events I don’t even attend. Also, if I don’t go, it is likely for a good reason and I wouldn’t want to give a gift to them anyway.
Post # 13
I think this depends on our relationship. If I am not that close, no gift. For family and close friends I would still send a gift.
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
If we aren’t attending, we just send a smaller gift. We try to “cover our plate” but if we’re not eating a plate, we send a little less! Maybe $150 instead of $200.