Post # 1
Hi hive, I’ve got a question about gift-giving etiquette. Think we can discuss it nicely?
I’ve been to enough weddings on my own to know what’s an appropriate gift to give the couple as a single guest, considering the budget I have. But now that my guy and I are living together, we’re consistently being invited to weddings as a couple. And we’re discussing whether and how this changes our gift-giving approach.
How does wedding gift giving work in your relationship? Please answer the poll and explain your response, if you would be so kind!
Also, a follow-up question… does your response change based on your relationship to the couple? If so, how? For instance, let’s say you’re invited to one wedding in which the bride and groom are mutual friends of both you and your SO. And let’s say you’re also invited to a different wedding in which you know the couple very well, but your SO is not well acquainted with the couple (or vice versa). Do you approach the wedding gift differently in these two situations?
ETA: Or, to turn the question on its head… as a bride, when you invite a couple to your wedding, do you expect 2 separate gifts or a joint gift from that couple? (to the extent that anyone “expects” gifts, please try to answer honestly)
Post # 3
We give as a couple and factor in how much we had to spend to attend the wedding (flights and hotel, if applicable) and then give what we can afford.
Post # 4
My FI and I get a gift together (nicer than what we would buy as individuals). This doesn’t change no matter who knows the couple getting married. We followed the same practice for his cousin who was getting married who I didn’t meet until the wedding as we did with close friends of both of us who are getting married – the gift still came from us as a couple.
That said, you can still vary the amount you spend based on how well you and your SO both know the couple (ie we spent more on the friends who were close to both of us than we did on his cousin).
Post # 5
The FI and I get a gift together, whether it’s family, friends, whatever. They are generally nicer than what either of us could afford on our own–so instead of buying (for example) 2, $75 gifts, we spend $150 and get one of the nicer things. This was especially important recently since my friend’s registry was full of cheaper but totally boring things, plus a couple really fun things that were a bit splashier. Definitely more fun to buy someone a stand mixer than a couple sets of Pyrex storage containers!
Post # 6
We have been giving gifts together lately (2 weddings, 1 baby shower, and 1 child’s birthday) , which basically means me going and picking out the gifts and putting both of our names on it lol
Post # 7
We give gift as a couple..the closeness to the bride and groom chances the amount we spend on them 🙂
to answer ur other question i would never expect a couple to bring 2 gift to my wedding 🙂
Post # 8
We give a gift as a couple. However, unless the wedding is for totally mutual friends, we don’t pool our money. If the wedding is for my friends/family, I’ll pay for the gift, and vice versa.
Post # 9
We pool and buy 1 more expensive gift. I think that’s the norm.
Post # 10
We also determine how much to spend based on how expensive it was to travel to the wedding and how close we are to the couple.
Also, as a bride, I “expect” one gift per couple and sometimes one gift per family (especially if the children are young). I use the term “expect” in the same manner as the OP did. I hope this helps!
Post # 11
Now that I’m part of a couple, I’ll follow the same rule that I did as when I was single. I/we will give what we can afford.
Post # 12
Give a single gift we can afford from their registry. I have never heard of a couple pooling their money together but I suppose you could. But generally, couples give one gift, not multiples from each individual. Also, the card is signed jointly.
Post # 13
Go for it together 🙂
It will be a nicer gift from both of you!!
Post # 14
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
We always give as a couple! We give what we can (collectively) afford!
Post # 15
We always give a gift together. We usually give a nicer gift if both of us go to a wedding. Typically whomever knows the person getting married pays for the gift. But really, it’s all from the same pot, and I always physically go get the gift…. so that strategy might be a little outdated.
Post # 16
We always give a gift together now that we’re living together, regardless of whose friend is getting married. When we weren’t living together and combining our finances yet, I paid for my share and his share of a joint gift if it was one of my friends getting married and vice versa.