Post # 1
I have a friend getting married in Vegas. She is expecting us, the guests to pay for our own dinner after the ceremony. I have already got a gift for her since she is my friend. But in general is it rude not to give a gift if the bride is expecting you to pay for your own meal? Specially the fact that guests have already spent money and time to travel to Vegas, buy wedding cloths and paid for hotels?…:P
Post # 3
I wouldn’t go to the wedding, let alone buy a gift! She’s the rude one – guests shouldn’t pay for anything at the reception.
Post # 4
@oneofthesethings: this was my thought too. OP your presence could be your “gift” since you have to pay your own way.
Post # 5
Just go and celebrte teh weddig. dont gift her if you dont feel like it. but dont get into a war over wedding ettiquite.. its not worth it. yeh it might be cheap on her behalf, but its done, its happening this way, and all you can do is take a deep breath and know tht you wouldnt do it the same.
Post # 6
How much did you spend on the gift? I would probably give her something small but nice like a bottle of wine instead of a big “wedding gift” (china, kitchen stuff) since she’s going untraditional.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t gift… Put up a poll, bees love a poll
Post # 8
I would give something small and not too expensive, especially since you have to travel. But I kind of think of it as if you want gifts you pay for food otherwise to save money ask guests to pay for their meals and get no gifts!
I was BM for my friend and paid $100 for hair and make up and didnt get her a wedding gift.
If you can afford it then go for it!
Post # 10
@shantaca: I would personally decline an invitation to travel out of state, where they aren’t providing even the most basic hospitality.
If this was my BFF or sister, I would attend, but my gift would be my hosting myself. There would be a lovely card with some well wishes, and maybe (if I was in a generous mood) a bottle of wine.
Post # 11
How odd. No i would not give her a gift unless you truly want to.. Is she actually expecting them?
Post # 12
How odd. No i would not give her a gift unless you truly want to.. Is she actually expecting them? I’m having a wedding where both sides of our family will have to travel. (It’s half way between the two) and i’m completely okay with not getting any gifts because i am greatful they are coming the 6 hours.
Post # 13
I’ve seen brides asking guests to pay for their meal before. However, in those cases, they have always made it very clear that they don’t expect a gift. To ask your guest for a gift, plus all the additional expenses you mentioned, comes across as greedy. I think asking for all of that is rude on behalf of the brides, much more so than if the guest won’t give a gift.
Post # 14
I would probably get her a small gift or card. Mostly because I would want to congratulate my friend. I don’t like the tit-for-tat attitutde of getting a present to pay for your meal.
Post # 15
odd one. Im having destination wedding so pple are paying to get there and stay. but im paying for all food. i wouldnt exprct a prezzie from pple going due to cost of them coming.x