Giving her something other than a big, shiny ring?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Would you want a donation to your special cause instead of an engagement ring?
    YES! : (7 votes)
    4 %
    NO!! : (98 votes)
    53 %
    Maybe...but could I still have a pretty sparkly something? : (47 votes)
    26 %
    No, but you're not proposing to me so it is irrelevant. : (32 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1170 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    gm9803:  I say get the ring, you can always make a donation (small) in addition to the ring and maybe a promise to donate every year to a charity of their choosing on the day you got engaged or something? That way it is the best of both, the ring and a large donation over your lifetime/s together.  

    Post # 3
    Member
    1216 posts
    Bumble bee

    No. Just, no. I feel like I should have some elegant explanation to go along with this but I just have too many different comments swirling around my mind right now to explain. So I’m just going to say, no.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1786 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    If it’s a surprise, no.  If it’s something you’ve both talked about and agreed that you want, yes.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2109 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Is she expecting a ring? Nothing saying it has to be big and sparkly, could just be a plain band. But unless she specifically told you she didn’t want a ring, I would get SOMETHING, because she’s probably expecting one

    Post # 6
    Member
    74 posts
    Worker bee

    That’s a tough one, I would want a ring. But from what you’re saying about her, it sounds like she might really like the donation. It’s hard to give advice as I don’t know her, maybe ask her mom or sister etc… what they think about it. I’m not into jewelry but my engagement ring was a really big deal to me so… it’s really hard to say.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1145 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think even though she isnt into jewellery- a ring is different. Its more of a symbol than a piece of jewellery. If you know she would appreciate the donation you can get that but maybe not instead of a ring. I think you could get her a smaller ring or she could pick it out herself as well as a donation. You could even propose with the donation and then go together to pick a smaller ring out.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1021 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    I think it’s great that you’ve found an ethically-sourced ring for your soon-to-be FI. If you think she might prefer something besides, I would have the conversation with her.  You guys are obviously communicating honestly about the next steps (which is GREAT!) so why not just ask her?

    Another option would be to find another ethically sourced jeweler who shares a percentage of the profit with a nonprofit she might like. That way you can have your cake and eat it too, so to speak.

    Post # 9
    Member
    9128 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Oh my goodness…. NO. In addition to, sure. But not in place of.

    Post # 10
    Member
    457 posts
    Helper bee

    You know each other best… I have a friend who’s not super into jewelry, but her and her fiance are into Renaissance fairs (and dressing up, acting, making costumes) so he got her something that fit their lifestyle: an engagement dagger. It might seem totally weird to other people, but she’s very happy. It’s apparently a very nice dagger.

    So what I’m saying is, only you can know what your gf will really be happy with. PLUS you can always propose without a ring and then talk about getting a ring after the proposal- most couples I know proposed without a ring. And then you can also bring up saving polar bears instead. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    7730 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Unless she has implicitly stated this is what she wants, absolutely not.

    Post # 12
    Member
    400 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014 - Norton Country Club

    I think I would still want a ring- the fact that you are having one made in an eco-conscious way is such a great reflection of her already (from your description).  It speaks volumes that you will be giving her a symbol of how much you love her with so much attention to what is important to her! 

    I would consider proposing in a way that incorporates this too and maybe even using eco themes in your wedding.  It’s totally ok to celebrate yourselves and your love while reflecting her passions! 

    Post # 13
    Member
    615 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    No get the ring too unless she said don’t buy one

    Post # 14
    Member
    2597 posts
    Sugar bee

    I am not really a jewellery person either so I tried to convince my SO that a new car was the way to go lol.  He said that once he bought me the car he knows I would find a way to wiggle a ring in there too so ring it is.

    Post # 15
    Member
    713 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Not sure if you are a fan of Sex and the city, but…

    “That’s why you need a diamond… to seal the deal.” -Mr. Big

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