Post # 1
To ring or Not to ring????
Hello wonderful bees,
So, my partner in the planning-to-get-engaged stage of our relationship. I have picked a jeweller and am in the process of designing an absolutley gorgeous ring for my lovely lady…
BUT, she’s not really a jewellery person (not like me, I love me some sparkly goodness, and totally want pretty, sparkly ring someday (SOON!))…but she IS an environmental/ethical/make the world a better place kind of person…
Should I skip/reduce the engagement ring and make an engagement donation instead??
Am I going crazy with engagement ring planning and I’ve just lost my mind?
Please, someone give me some perspective.
P.S. The ring I’m designing iwould be made with recycled metals and lab-created stones…but it’s still going to cost a chunk of cash…which I’m thinking she’d rather I spend somewhere else…like saving polar bears
Post # 2
gm9803: I say get the ring, you can always make a donation (small) in addition to the ring and maybe a promise to donate every year to a charity of their choosing on the day you got engaged or something? That way it is the best of both, the ring and a large donation over your lifetime/s together.
Post # 3
No. Just, no. I feel like I should have some elegant explanation to go along with this but I just have too many different comments swirling around my mind right now to explain. So I’m just going to say, no.
Post # 4
If it’s a surprise, no. If it’s something you’ve both talked about and agreed that you want, yes.
Post # 5
Is she expecting a ring? Nothing saying it has to be big and sparkly, could just be a plain band. But unless she specifically told you she didn’t want a ring, I would get SOMETHING, because she’s probably expecting one
Post # 6
That’s a tough one, I would want a ring. But from what you’re saying about her, it sounds like she might really like the donation. It’s hard to give advice as I don’t know her, maybe ask her mom or sister etc… what they think about it. I’m not into jewelry but my engagement ring was a really big deal to me so… it’s really hard to say.
Post # 7
I think even though she isnt into jewellery- a ring is different. Its more of a symbol than a piece of jewellery. If you know she would appreciate the donation you can get that but maybe not instead of a ring. I think you could get her a smaller ring or she could pick it out herself as well as a donation. You could even propose with the donation and then go together to pick a smaller ring out.
Post # 8
I think it’s great that you’ve found an ethically-sourced ring for your soon-to-be FI. If you think she might prefer something besides, I would have the conversation with her. You guys are obviously communicating honestly about the next steps (which is GREAT!) so why not just ask her?
Another option would be to find another ethically sourced jeweler who shares a percentage of the profit with a nonprofit she might like. That way you can have your cake and eat it too, so to speak.
Post # 9
Oh my goodness…. NO. In addition to, sure. But not in place of.
Post # 10
You know each other best… I have a friend who’s not super into jewelry, but her and her fiance are into Renaissance fairs (and dressing up, acting, making costumes) so he got her something that fit their lifestyle: an engagement dagger. It might seem totally weird to other people, but she’s very happy. It’s apparently a very nice dagger.
So what I’m saying is, only you can know what your gf will really be happy with. PLUS you can always propose without a ring and then talk about getting a ring after the proposal- most couples I know proposed without a ring. And then you can also bring up saving polar bears instead.
Post # 11
Unless she has implicitly stated this is what she wants, absolutely not.
Post # 12
- Wedding: December 2014 - Norton Country Club
I think I would still want a ring- the fact that you are having one made in an eco-conscious way is such a great reflection of her already (from your description). It speaks volumes that you will be giving her a symbol of how much you love her with so much attention to what is important to her!
I would consider proposing in a way that incorporates this too and maybe even using eco themes in your wedding. It’s totally ok to celebrate yourselves and your love while reflecting her passions!
Post # 13
No get the ring too unless she said don’t buy one
Post # 14
I am not really a jewellery person either so I tried to convince my SO that a new car was the way to go lol. He said that once he bought me the car he knows I would find a way to wiggle a ring in there too so ring it is.
Post # 15
Not sure if you are a fan of Sex and the city, but…
“That’s why you need a diamond… to seal the deal.” -Mr. Big