Giving in on plus ones…

posted 4 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: Did you get guest list creep
    Yes, additional people/plus ones ended up getting invited beyond what I planned : (19 votes)
    73 %
    No, I stuck to the plan 100%. : (7 votes)
    27 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    31 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We are allowing extra plus ones at the ceremony and after dinner. We are super tight on space so we told people if they really want their new gf/bf there then thats the only way we could do it 

    Post # 4
    Member
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I originally wanted a DW and now there’s over 200 people invited and EVERYONE is allowed a plus one so I guess I gave in.

    Post # 5
    Member
    322 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    At first, I was committed to only giving guests to people with stable relationships, engagement, marriage, etc. Then, I started stretching the rule a little… and a little bit more. In the end, I’m hoping it’s not tooo many more than I planned, but like you said… you only have one wedding, so everyone might as well enjoy it!

    Post # 6
    Member
    1892 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    even though invites haven’t gone out yet we already know a few regrets so we were able to invtie 2 +1s … technically neither is really a SO but moe like a mutual friend so we get a 2 for 1 typ thing!

    Post # 7
    Member
    517 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Bebealways:  Yeah, my mom’s cousin rsvp’d for her two sons and one of their girlfriends, I kind of flipped my shit, but I am too nice and didn’t want to start anything, then my other two cousins are bringing friends on the trip (its a DW in FL) and they want them to come to the wedding, uhhhh……FINE!

    Post # 8
    Member
    4043 posts
    Honey bee

    @LPitty:  Just making sure I am reading this right…you will have guests that can only attend the ceremony and for the dancing, after dinner? Interesting…..

    Post # 9
    Member
    1491 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Bebealways:  Yes.   And ultimately for the same reasons (minus the vanilla vodka and diet cokes, mine were wine).   

    It was only one person, and after she complained to me about not having a plus one, I graciously extended the invite for a plus one.  I was NOT pleased that she whined to me about it in the first place, but whatever.  She’ll be more comfortable at my small wedding if she has someone else she knows there, and then everyone will be more happy.  

    Post # 10
    Member
    2332 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I have not voted because mine is “other”! I have given in to one +1 but I have had people say no and there was no one else that we wanted to add so my guest list has not creeped up because of it. The +1 is for my cousin who is around my age but the only people he will know is his parents and aunts and uncles and sometimes you want someone of your own age to be with. If he hadnt asked I wouldn’t have given it to him. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    399 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I made it very clear to everyone, no +1, but just this week two cousins added +1.  I gave in…I don’t want it to be a thing.  I have no idea how to say no either :(.  I asked one cousin what the name was for seating, he said he wasn’t even sure who he was bringing- I hate that!  I told him it was an intimate wedding, and I would need a name….guess we’ll see!

    Post # 12
    Member
    3389 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    FI cousin asked to invite a date..she was supposed to let me know for sure Yesterday…now she’ll let me know Sunday..my venue is holding off putting my payment through until I have a final guest count. I’m at the mercy of a total F”n stranger.. My fault for not telling her no. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    6900 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    There’s nothing wrong with extending  invitations to guests  on your end, as long as you do it for everyone.

    At our reception, one cousin asked to bring her BF and another person wanted to bring their young child.  If I had said yes to those people, to me it meant I’d have to invite everyone who had a BF and everyone who had a child.  We weren’t prepared or willing to do that and we also weren’t  willing to offend those who were too polite to ask.

    Nothing wrong with changing your mind on your end, even if it was quite rude of people who are  not engaged or living together to ask in the first place.  But I had no problem saying I’m sorry, but I can’t accomodate guests if I can’t include  them for everyone.

    Post # 14
    Member
    31 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @bmo88:  

    I know it is kinda strange but people understood that we were limited on space and I think they were thankful that we offered them a way to bring their significant other.  We are having dinner downstairs and there is a lounge upstairs that the extra guests can hangout and eat at. 

     

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