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There was a blog relating to this topic on this site recently that may be of help to you:
http://www.weddingbee.com/2008/06/16/the-alternate-to-being-given-away/
"Do you give your blessings to this union?' is a popular alternative phrase.
This came up about a week ago and someone had an awesome response!!! Apparently it's from an episode of "Brothers and Sisters". When the officiant asked the mother "who gives this woman?" she responded "She gives herself freely, with my love and my blessing." I thought that was just awesome!
For our ceremony, we decided to ask a questions to both sides. So our officiant asked, "Who is here in support of this marriage?" My brother who was my escort stood up and said, "On behalf of Bonnie's friends and family, I offer our support and our blessing." Then my DH's best friend and best man repeated, "Oh behalf of Jeremy's friends and family, I offer our support and our blessing."
There are so many cool ways that you can go about working with the tradition. I think of it more as a time for someone to say, "Yes! This is her decision, but I support her whole heartedly!"
Good luck!
Those are great ideas, thanks so much for your help!! I really love the one from Brothers and Sisters, but probably have better chances of my dad liking mdarrah's suggestion. Much appreciated!
I'm probably going to use the phrase "who presents this woman" and my dad will say "her mother and I"
Good luck!
Sounds like you found your solution, but I thought I'd post in case anyone else was wondering the same thing.
We just left the words out of it. My dad escorted me off, gave me a kiss and hug, shook my groom's hand, and sat down. Then the judge started the ceremony. I thought it worked well. Our ceremony wasn't wordy, so it fit.
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I'm hoping the hive can help with this portion of my ceremony... the judge marrying us has asked if he should use the traditional "who gives this woman in marriage" when my father walks me down the aisle. But, since I'm 32, have lived on my own since 19, have lived with FH for 2 years, and can't imagine anyone "GIVING" me away, this wording seems very wrong! But we would like my dad to be able to answer something to indicate his happiness about the union. Any thoughts on how to handle this??