Post # 1
I’ve been trying to follow Mr. Bee’s plan (especially the part about not bringing up engagement as much as possible unless he initiates it), but now I’m in a quandry — looking to you ladies for some advice about what to do…
A few weeks ago, my SO asked me if I wanted to pick out my own engagement ring. I’ve been thinking about this for a few months, so I was prepared (even though my brain was a little busy going “eeeeeeee!” at a high-pitched volume, I still focused enough to talk calmly…), and I told him I wouldn’t mind having some input into the decision (along with “it’s totally up to you to decide when you’re ready, I don’t want you to feel pressured”).
Since then, we spent about half an hour looking at some online and comparing ideas (that was a few days after the first conversation) and again this weekend at a jewelry booth at a local festival. After the festival (where we didn’t see anything very e-ring-looking) he said “well, my plan to get you an engagement ring from them was foiled…” after he’d been going “tell me what you like… do you see anything you like?… are any of them your style?” the whole time we looked.
So — this morning, I spent a few hours browsing the ring porn on Blue Nile and James Allen and a few other places. I have a pretty solid idea of things I like and don’t like regarding size, style, metal, etc. I want to email him one or two examples just so he can see what I like since he was asking. But — I really want to stick to Mr. Bee’s plan! Would emailing him the ideas go against the plan (i.e. seem pushy or be pressuring him) or do you think that would be a good idea since he’s been asking me?
How do you ladies handle this?
Post # 3
i would nicely ask him to go try some one. i didnt know what i wanted until i got it on my finger… i thought i wanted a ascher cut with a pave halo… boy was a wrong… i ended up with a round solitaire:) it looks much better on my finger and i am sooo happy with it! its much more my style
Post # 4
I also would suggest trying some on. The ring i was set on I HATED in person. And since he brought it up its ok!
Post # 5
If he has asked you what you like – then I think it would be to email him some pics. When I told my FH that I had a file with pics of rings that I liked – he asked to see them. He printed a few of them out and ran some ideas by me. I ended up with a ring that I LOVE and really suits me. Good luck!
Post # 6
Yes I think since he brought it up you’re not going against the plan. I agree that trying on the rings is important, since what you like online may not be what you like on your finger. You can go by yourself to try the rings on then email him with ideas. Or you can go together, whatever makes you feel most comfortable and FUN for you!
Post # 7
I’d just ask if he’d like you send some pictures of rings you like from online. That’s what I did. I sent him quite a few links of different rings I liked. Ended up he printed out one of the pictures and brought it with him to the jeweler when he picked out my ring.
Post # 8
Woohoo!!! Engagement Ring shopping is so much fun! 🙂 I went with my SO last year. He wants to pick out the ring himself, but he also wanted to see what types of things I would like. Plus, I needed to get my ring finger sized. We went, and I fell in love with two rings. He told me he wouldn’t be getting either of them, because he wanted to pick them out. Grrr! 🙂 Oh well.
I learned quite a few things about what I like! I do like round diamonds, and I thought I might like a pave band…not so much. It made my finger look chunkier than what it is. I found that I liked a halo/micro pave setting around the round diamond, with square diamonds in the band. That would be my dream ring.
The big thing is, I know it shouldn’t be all about the ring, but it is something you will wear, day in and day out. You want to make sure you know different things you like and dislike. I agree with the OPs, you can see things you like online but don’t like in person, and vice versa.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t worry going against the plan at all – HE brought it up and asked for your suggestions!
I would just email him the rings, and say here are some suggestions for you and leave it at that.
If he has any more questions, he will ask.
Post # 10
Since he already asked you before, I would say email the things you like. You want to make sure that he does know what you like.
Post # 11
I would probably print the rings out and talk about it in person. That way you can see his reactions!
Post # 12
@BlueRidgeMere: He ASKED you to help! He WANTS to buy you an engagement ring! How would he think you WANT to marry him if you aren’t excited and willing to input your opinion? Though I would suggest to him that you go to a jeweler and get your ring size.