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posted 11 months ago in Babies
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    mrstilly    May 15, 2010   Ithaca, NY

    So a blog I visit once in a while posted a picture of the writer's daughter in a tiny string bikini. Her daughter is only about 12 weeks old (whe was born right before my son). That really disgusts me. I'm more conservative than a lot of poeple when it comes to clothing, but I can't imagine it. I feel like there is a difference between letting a baby play around naked or in a diaper and purposefully dressing her in an adult piece of clothing who's purpose is to be revealing.

    Girls today have so much pressure on them and the clothing retailers target them with just gets tighter and more revealing all the time. I never wore a two piece bathing suit until I was in college! I didn't even wear a tank top until I was in my junior year of high school. What happened to modesty?

    What are your thoughts?

     
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    joy2011    October 22, 2011   NE Ohio

    ok, that is disgusting.

     
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    mwitter80    December 11, 2010   Connecticut

    Really? I think it's cute

     
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    MsBrooklynA       Midwest

    I'm much less modest than you seem to be but I personally don't care for them. I actually think they look very awkward on a baby.

     
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    Lindsay12.31.2010    December 31, 2010   Missouri

    I was at Starbucks yesterday morning and a group of teenagers, probably about 13 or so were in front of me ordering "skinny" lattes with non fat milk.  Listening to them talk about dieting made me so, so sad.  What kind of message are we sending to kids who now are DIETING before their bodies are even developed? I wanted to give them a hug.

     
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    amnystik    April 9, 2011   Texas

    I'm with you on the conservative dressing... especially with the lust issues our poor young men are hit with... and now young women too.

    I think it's terrible how even little baby girls are dressed in "skimpy" dresses and like you saw bikinis (which I've seen a couple seasons now) =/

    I'm finding myself more and more yet less and less surprised by what people are doing or find acceptable these days.

    *sigh*

     
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    EvaBostonTerrier    July 3, 2010  

    I can't imagine... then again, I grew up with very conservative parents.  When we would go to the beach as kids, my swimsuit was basically a leotard instead of a swimsuit - because it had short sleeves instead of being sleeveless.  We also had to wear t-shirts on top of the swimsuits most of the time. 

    I don't have children yet, but my child will not wear a 2 piece bathing suit until highschool (and even then, it will need to cover quite a bit - maybe more like a tankini).  Apparel with writing/ logos will not be allowed (especially on pants/ shorts).  I'm not a big fan of cartoon characters either, only because I really don't want my child wantching t.v., but we'll see what happens.  I know that it's easier to say these things now because I'm not a parent yet.

     
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    mwitter80    December 11, 2010   Connecticut

    I am truly surprised by this. All of my friends have their little girls in their cute bikini's and their fisherman hats and their sunglasses. I think they look so cute when we go out. And this isn't a trend either. I have pictures of me in 2 piece bathing suits when I was little too.

     
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    Ms. Martian    September 9, 2012   Ontario

    Well.. I only wore bottoms (a speedo technically) until I was 9. This was in Europe so it's much, much, much more accepted. 

    I don't think it's disgusting but I do think that a baby in a bikini must be a hassle. I just don't associate kids/babies in skimpy clothes as immodest or inappropriate. 

     
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    amnystik    April 9, 2011   Texas

    @EvaBostonTerrier don't worry it's more than possible. We don't have cable or really watch tv. We do have Netflix but everything is incredibly screened... for DH and I as well. If our son evers asks why a specific show isn't watched (by us either) we just explain about how important it is to be aware of the things we watch and listen to b/c they make up who we are and how we think.... he's almost 7 and he's totally cool with it. Just be sure to explain as it's apart of who you are as a family and not "just becuase" and they'll take it well ;)

     
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    pinkb    April 7, 2011  

    @mwitter80: I have to agree my mom has pics of her and her cousins when they were very little in 2 piece bathing suits so it is nothing new.  I think they are cute.

     
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    Ms Spitfire    January 2015   CA

    @EvaBostonTerrier: It might be a little unrealistic for your child to not watch tv at some point during their childhood. There are still some good clean cartoons these days although I will admit, not too many :/. Also, your not going to allow your children to wear anything with logos or writing? Plain shirts and plain pants? I'm just curious as to what your reasons are regarding your choice.

     

    I think bikini's on babies are unrealistic and silly. I would allow my child to wear a two piece bathing suite once they were in jr.high but not any sooner.

     
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    mrstilly    May 15, 2010   Ithaca, NY

    I guess I feel like not wearing a suit (naked, diaper, only bottoms on a girl) is more child-like. It gives the message that this is a kid, and doesn't need to be covered (though toddler age - after that coverage is needed, IMO). I feel like bikini's are adult clothing, and putting them on babies and little kids is accentuating parts of their body that they don't even have yet. Maybe I'm just mental... but it bothers me.

    Edited to add - the picture I saw was a string bikini halter top. Extremely skimpy no matter what standards you judge by.

     
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    ohheavenlyday    August 20, 2011   Savannah, Georgia

    Is this Emphasis Added?

    I have a 21 month old daughter. She wears one piece bathing suits. If she ever WERE to wear a little baby string bikini, I sure wouldn't put pictures of her in it up on the Internet. 

     
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    beesknees    04.19.08   Florida

    I have cute pics of me maybe 1 yr old in a gold lame bikini, this was late 70s- and i don't mean to toot my own horn but its a dang cute picture.  I don't see anything wrong with a baby in a bikini.  let those cute buddha bellies out!  But really to each their own, so if you're not comfortable with your baby in a bikini, just don't buy one.  But I wouldn't say its "disgusting" (thats a bit harsh).  its just your personal preference. 

     
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    mwitter80    December 11, 2010   Connecticut

    @amnystik: Please don't take this the wrong way, because I really do enjoy our poing of view and the advice that you give is always quite well written.  In other posts you've also discussed religion and your DH being a virgin and so on. Now you are discussing screening things from your 7 year old. If you don't mind me asking how old were you when you had your son? were you married before? you just appear to be quite young and very relgious, with at times some radical views (not this, this is just preference to me) but you also have a child that isn't DH's. I'm just trying to understand your back story if you don't mind. If you do mind, that's ok too and I hope my questions don't offend you.

     
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    joy2011    October 22, 2011   NE Ohio

    The problem is with sexualizing young children. If they shouldn't be having sex, then don't dress them like sex objects.

    I mean, I know, it's way more complicated than that, but that's for starters...

     
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    EvaBostonTerrier    July 3, 2010  

    @Ms Spitfire:  I didn't grow up with cable, so the only show I really watched as a kid would be Seasame Street.  I'm not opposed to children watching minimal amounts of educational t.v./dvds - but it needs to be that - educational.  I grew up in the country and I spent my time doing a lot of activities that didn't involve just sitting around - I want my children to have a similar upbringing in that regard.  (I started riding horses around 4 years old, I had several pigs over the years, goats, sheep, rabbits, etc.  I read a ton as a kid.  I did lots of crafts, learned basic cake decorating  Etc. Etc.)

    Regarding logos/writing: I truly don't wear that type of clothing.  I don't see the need to be a walking billboard for a particular company/ show.  More than anything, writing on the derriere is really inappropriate for kids, at least in my opinion.  Do I really want someone reading what is written there on my child - NO!

    Edit: Just wanted to add that surprisingly, my husband and I really aren't religious or anything.  It's part of our personal belief system based on the experiences we've had throughout life. 

     
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    yrret107    November 28, 2009   Seattle, WA; Married in West Chester, PA

    I think it can be cute.  Although, there will be a time that that cuteness can be taken the other way. My niece who is now 16 was dressed up in halters and stuff when she was like 2.  Is that too much?  I thought it was cute.  I guess it does get hard when the kid is 12 and wearing halters and stuff.  Maybe it's cute when the kid is like 2 or 3. Maybe as long as you aren't putting your kids in that stuff from 2 months up to 16 years old.  But a few years when they are cute and adorable is okay. That's what I think.

    I don't know what I'm going to do when we have kids.  Maybe this thread might make me more aware of that issue and I might change my way of thinking by the time I have kids.  Which might be soon.  Yikes!

     
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    joy2011    October 22, 2011   NE Ohio

    @beesknees:um, ok, sorry, I guess I should have said *I* think that's disgusting.

     
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    KatyElle      

    I love having a daughter, but she wears a modest bathing suit. She's a toddler, she has no need for a bikini. She has a 2 piece, but it's a tank top with little bloomer style bottoms, as she recently finished potty training and it's simply easier that way.

    I'm not a prude by any means. I will watch/read/listen to just about anything and I strongly oppose censorship in most cases. I think people need to exercise better parenting rather than trying to shelter their kids from everything in the name of "morality." I do not however, think putting a baby in a string bikini and posting pics on the internet is appropriate.

     
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    @mwitter80: I think she has said she's "born again" but maybe I'm thinking of someone else.

     
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    Ms Spitfire    January 2015   CA

    @EvaBostonTerrier: I see. Thank you for explaining more about your views. I was just curious. I do agree with you that children should be doing more then just sitting around all day watching TV though. It's great that you want your children to have more productive lives with crafts, animals, etc. :) As for the logo's, I personally don't have a problem with them but on the butt region, yeah, lets just say my children better not even ask for a pair of pants with "juicy" written on the back lol.

     

     

     
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    mrstilly    May 15, 2010   Ithaca, NY

    @EvaBostonTerrier: My upbringing was very similar to yours, and maybe that is why my beliefs are also similar. Kids are way to sexualized. Have you seen the rouched undies that victorias secret advertizes on huge displays in the mall windows for all to see? I know the models are of age, but isn't the pink line geared toward teens?

    Kids can be so lazy these days too with video games and internet (among other things!) It wasn't available to me when I was a kid, so I was riding horses, playing outside, playing sports, and reading all the time.

     
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    MsMamaBear       Atlanta

    I don't like them. My younger cousin's wife had his daughter in one with triangles for the top! I was like, not cute in my head, but didn't say anything outloud. (She's 20 and parties like she has no kids. partying is cool, if you do what you need to and don't have kids!LOL)

    I could see this one a little, since no triangles, but the belly is out:

    glad I had a boy... :  wedding On810619 00qlv01

    But I'd prefer my daughter (if my baby is a girl) wear this:

    glad I had a boy... :  wedding On810600 00qlv01

     
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    amnystik    April 9, 2011   Texas

    @mwitter80 not offended at all. KatyElle has it right and yes my background is very different than my life now. lol... I pm'd you so as not the get the thread too off track =)

     
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    LpCutiPie    July 3, 2010   Central Florida

    I had an extremely hard time finding a bathing suit for my daughter that I thought was appropriate for a infant. I think two piece bathing suits for babies that age are only okay when worn at their own home around their own family, but never in public or social situations. Here's the bathing suit I finally decided on for my daughter- it's actually too big because I couldn't find one in the right size so we had to safety pin it for right now..

    glad I had a boy... :  wedding May292011 14

     
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    @MsMamaBear: That 2 piece is like the one my daughter has, but the top covers her tummy. It's so cute :)

     
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    Miss Marbles    August 18, 2012   Canada

    @KatyElle: Agreed with everything you said!
    Not all mothers with girls put them in string bikinis. My 18 month old has a two piece.. the top is a tank that ties at the top and the bottoms are ruffles.
     I'm very glad I had a girl.

     
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    Bostonsmom    October 9, 2011   canada

    My daughter only wears one-pieces, and most of my friends think I am crazy!!! I just don't want my baby girl to grow up faster than she has to, and in this day in age I think we have to be extra-careful. There are perverts on the internet, and out at the beach who get off on that sort of shit. Everything these days is so sexualized, Even gum commercials have sexual innuendos in them, and are shown during the daytime. I NEVER watch television shows with adult content when my children are in the room, which is why we also usually watch DVD's and Netflix. I don't think it's appropriate for children to see things like Keeping Up With the Kardashians or Real Housewives and think that's how they have to be. My MOH regularly lets her 6 year old wear make up and straighten her hair, and it really makes me sad. Girls grow up with enough self esteem issues, they don't need to wear make up in grade one!!!

     
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    @Bostonsmom: That makes me sad. Little kids are so naturally beautiful, they don't need makeup and flat irons.

     
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    Ms Spitfire    January 2015   CA

    I actually love the first one on top that MSMAMABEAR posted. It's super cute. I would see no problem dressing up my little girl in a swimsuit like that but when mothers put their children's in bikinis that barely cover up their chest, it's not OK because like a PP said, some weirdo's get off on that kinda stuff. 

     
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    miksje130    August 26, 2011   Gilbert

    @Bostonsmom: I know how that is, I have to godchildren that barely turned two and their mothers are already putting make up on them. I know its just for fun so they "get to be like mommy" but I really dont think you should be putting blue eyeshadow and lipgloss on their face.

    Back to the original post. I would let my kids, when I have them, wear bikinis that cover them, not the little triangle ones, thats a no no. I would prefer to have them wear tankinis or one pieces. But some of the things they have out there now, my mom would have never let me wear and I am sure I won't let my kids wear them as well.

     
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    808bride    October 10, 2009   Hawaii

    glad I had a boy... :  wedding 41zFDD3FWWL. SL380 Interesting. I'm very practical so I only have a few hand-me-down one piece bathing suits. I never thought to buy a 2 piece. We are active surfers in Hawaii so we naturally bought our 4 month daughter in a protective UV rashguard (surfshirt in photo) to protect her from the sun. We also have a swim diaper.  On average, we expose baby Emi to sun about 10 minutes each day  (not during peak/super sunny times) on short walks. The one time we went to the beach at 9AM, we judged it was too hot for her skin so we turned back around and left though it was such a hassle to get her there.  I think protecting your kid from sun damage is a bigger issue/reason to not go with the bikini than the possibility of sexualizing her at a young age.

    My husband's a youth pastor and we watch tv on rare occasion (to limit us to more active pursuits) so I guess we are more conservative compared to most of the world. BUT i dearly adore my baby's little pink lace ruffle strapless onepiece outfit. It's the only thing I told my mom to buy for my baby ( as we have way too much clothes as it is.) When DH saw it on Emi, he was like OH, I don't really like seeing her in stuff like that. Looking again, I realize, it was a little 'hottie' outfit, if an adult was wearing it. But it's on a baby and covered her more than a onesie.  And it was comfy...I wouldn't put her in it if it wasn't.  I wondered what others might think of it/me after he said that but still allowed my cousin to post it to my Facebook wall. Only....oh, so cute!!

    BTW, I wouldn't allow my young daughter in heels. I saw 4 year olds in heels at the ballet. That was a little much.  I guess everyone draws their lines in the sand in different places.

     

     
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    firsttimemom    December 18, 2010  

    I'm having a little girl and I will be damned if she's strutting her stuff in a string bikini before she's 18. (OK, maybe that's a little far...)

    But seriously, I was raised in an enviornment MUCH like EvaBostonTerrier. I watched "Veggie Tales" and similar cartoons/programs with Godly messages incorporated and NOTHING else, unless of course I watched it over at a friends house (knowing it was wrong). I was not allowed to watch R rated movies until I moved out of the house. Books with plots referring to magic or other religion were not allowed (Harry Potter, etc) and family movies were edited by my parents before-hand so they knew all inappropriate parts were gone. To this day I get scolded around my mother for saying "stupid" or calling someone an "idiot."

    I don't believe I will be so strict as my mother was with my siblings and I, but I will definitely attempt to keep her innocence as long as possible.

     
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    bells    June 26, 2011  

    I dont like it when little girls are dresses as adults either.. and alot of their shoes have heels on them now? Why cant they just be kids and dress as kids and worry about bikinis and all that later? I agree that a naked kid is innocent but some of those bikinis are just bizarre they even have some that have padding in them to create more shape for kids???

     
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    @firsttimemom: Did you find that stifling at all? My mother was pretty strict with some stuff (no Beavis and Butthead, definitely no drinking in the house etc.) but she is a dramatic arts teacher so I was also exposed to a lot of books/art/theater/movies and music that many would consider pretty "risque." She took me to see Rent when I was in middle school because her class was studying La Boheme. She works at a Catholic school but is obsessed with Harry Potter.

    I just think there can be a balance between kids being informed and being sheltered. I'm trying to figure that out with my own daughter.

     
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    DesireeAnne    October 13, 2012   South Jersey

    The future scares me.  That is all.

     
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    tranquility    August 20, 2011  

    I think that "back in the day" things were very different. Yes, children ran around naked, babies/kids could wear bikinis, ect ect. But society has changed.

    As a pp mentioned, there are now 12 year olds trying to watch their weight and 13 years olds losing their virginity. Innocence is easily lost now and as a parent that scares me.

    I have a 5 year old and I have never and will not put her in a bikini. I just think that when she is old enough to make sound decisions, she can decide if that is something she wants to do. On the other hand, I allow her to chose her close every night before bed .. we have the rule that as long as the clothes is weather and occasion appropriate, she can wear what she wants.

    Le sigh. Parenting is tough.

     
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    firsttimemom    December 18, 2010  

    @KatyElle: Stifled is so much of an understatement. I remember for "family life", my mother would not let me participate and she never told me what my period was. Due to my thyroid condition, I developed faster than the other girls (started wearing bras in third grade- I NEEDED them at that point) and when I got my period I had no clue what it was and was actually ashamed of it. So i hid it. When I hadn't asked my mother about it by high school she asked me if I ever got it (she was obviously worried, haha) and I told her I had had it since grade school. I will never put my daughter through that. I seriously thought there was something wrong with me.

    Once I killed a bug and my father told me I was going to hell because I killed one of God's creatures. I cried for days. I wasn't allowed to participate in Halloween celebrations either, because that was considered devil worship. I was pulled from MANY extra-curricular activities (Jazzercise, dance, etc) because they played inappropriate music. My mother even drove us to and from school each day to shelter us from the music played on the bus.

    Honestly though, I think all the limitations helped me to do my own research and gain insight on other views from an un-biased source. My mother was kind of like the mother in the Waterboy with the "______ is the work of the devil!" kind of stuff haha :)

     

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