- 4 years ago
- Wedding: March 2016
SSo the time has come to organise the venue, guest lists etc. We have a date (28th July 2015!)
I have no problem with most of my family members.
An issue has come up; the issue of my grandmother attending my wedding.
I don’t want her there. I despise her. She is an abusive bitch and I want nothing to do with her. I’ll try to state some of the reasons why
She has severe mental health issues she refuses to seek help for. She is paranoid (she refuses to eat the food my mother makes because she thinks my mother will kill her/sedate her).
She is violent and has a lot of rage (she abuses my grandfather verbally and physically). I remember her reducing my auntie to tears when I was younger, and my father refuses to have her in the house here in the UK. I refuse to be around if she is in the house as well, it is not ok.
She has said very unforgiveable things to my father when he was ill and in a wheelchair for a long time, picking on him because he was at his most vulnerable. I will not repeat those things here. She does the same thing to my grandfather. She also verbally abuses my mother, her sisters, my father, my auntie, and other people.
An example of what she is like: I went to India in the October of 2012. My second cousin, his family, my mother and grandparents and I went to a mall. We split off: my mother and grandparents went together, and I stayed with my second cousin and family. After an hour or so, my grandparents and mother come back and I immediately sense something is wrong (even though my mum has her ‘happy face’ on). I get her on her own and ask her what is wrong. She starts crying and tells me the whole story.
They went to a store full of kitchen and junk stuff. My grandmother buys lots of shit, then gets bored and demands my mother and grandfather to follow her. A while later, she wants to go back but the store is closing and won’t let her in. She starts throwing a TANTRUM. Screaming, yelling, etc. She raises her hand on my mother and talks shit to her, things like ‘I hope your family die’ and ‘you’re a whore and I wish I never had you’ etc. She BIT my grandfather on the arm and DREW BLOOD as well as bruising him. No-one lifted a finger or helped. She acted like nothing happened, I was completely shocked (she does that though).
She lies about my mother to everyone and anyone she can, telling them what a bad daughter she is (even though mymother extends her hand to her all the time but my grandmother never accepts).
She goes into states of catatonia, which is what makes me think it is a mental health issue. But she hates doctors and hospitals, and mental health is a HUGE taboo in India, not to mention the care is horrific. So any counselling/treatment is completely out of the question.
She grinds her teeth and abuses my grandfather and her family verbally. Everyone is scared of her except for me. I completely ignored her and plan on doing so until the day she dies. I want nothing to do with her.
She has been like this since she was a young child (according to her sisters and brothers).
Problem is my mother might want her to come to the wedding. What do I do about this? I want to make it very clear that I do not want her at the wedding, I know she will fuck things up and talk shit about the wedding etc. She doesn’t even know I am getting married yet because she would flip at the thought of my FI and I living together before marriage. What do I do?
I know that if she DOES come to the wedding and even steps ONE FOOT out of line, I will not tolerate it. If she raises a hand on ANYONE (very possible), I WILL call the police and I WILL get her detained in a mental health triage. I am NOT dealing with that shit on what is meant to be a special day.
All of this is only a tip of the iceberg, not even the worst that she has done. I really need help, I want to get this sorted out NOW.
For additional info, my mother and father are paying for the wedding (they insisted and wanted to) with my in-laws contributing bits and pieces.