Gma is psycho, don't want her at wedding. How do I ensure this is followed?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

You need to have a very serious talk with your parents. Not just b/c they are footing your wedding bill; but b/c when it comes to family, there will be emotions about barring people from the wedding.

Feel them out. Maybe your mother feels the way you do? Who knows.

Good luck. I wish someone would step up and get your gma some help. If she’s abusive, they could probably do it against her wishes. It sounds like she’s in desperate need. Not to mention her poor husband and everyone else. 🙁

Post # 5
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Yeah… family is so complex. Hopefully you can get your family to agree on some kind of plan. It’s not easy!!

Post # 6
Member
873 posts
Busy bee

I would stick to ym guns and not invite her or allow her there. That is clearly the right choice for you

Post # 7
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Yikes!! What reasoning does your mother have to support that it would be appropriate for your grandmother to be there other than the fact that she’s your grandma? I mean, if she freaks out and goes into some fit of rage that is going to be extremely embarassing for your entire family, including your mother. Not to mention it would kind of ruin the day – a very expensive day that your parents are paying for.

I feel like you have more than enough reason to not want her there. That is crazy!! Hopefully your grandma just won’t be able to make the trip if your mother still insists on inviting her.

Post # 9
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would wait to deal with this.  Your wedding is a long way off, and you don’t want to start the planning off on the wrong foot with your family.

Post # 11
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I am sorry you have to deal with this. I think the advice of stating it early and standing your ground is good. Even if you don’t invite her, will she possibly show up uninvited?

Post # 12
Member
7531 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@OrchidsandCandles:  If I were in your situation, I would talk to your dad, get him on board early.  Does your dad think your mom will want grandma there out of “obligation”?  If that is the case, I would chat about the situation with your dad present-have him remind your mother what a mess the day could be.  When talking with your mom, remind her that you want the both of you to enjoy your wedding day together.  From a former MOB, I really wanted to enjoy this special day to the max with my daughter. If your mother still feels obligated, let her know that you don’t want to be calling the police and dealing with abusive behavior ruining the day, hopefully this will keep her convinced not to have your grandma present.  

Post # 14
Member
6753 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

She bit your grandfather… in public.  That sounds like enough of a reason to me.

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