- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2017
Hi there bees,I’m writing here because I need honest opinions from someone on the outside of the situation.Everyone here’s involved one way or the other,since they either know me,my ex husband or my boyfriend.I need unbiased opinions.
I’ve been married for 5 1/2 years.Got married in June 2007,and after a difficult time,riddled with fertility issues,depression and work drama,my ex husband threw me out of the house in January last year,and told me we were done for good in early February 2013.He already had another woman.Soon after,out of spite,I signed on a dating website and stated casually dating,and eventually met the man who is now my boyfriend.
My husband and I never actually legally separated.I tried,but he will ogny sign papers if I don’t ask for a dime.Now,I didn’t ask for much money,because I know he can’t afford to actually support me totally,but since I was totally depending on my mom (I worked,not payed and not signed,for him for 3 years),I asked him to help me a little bit until I was able to find a little more stable job (I accepted any job I found to make even a little money,during these months).I told him,it doesn’t matter if it’s 200 one month and 100 the other,it’s just a little help until I’m a bit more stable,since you got to keep everything (the house was rental,he kept the cars,since those were in his name,has a bakery and he kept all the furniture.I haven’t even got back all of my clothes yet).He initially said yes,then had his lawyer let mine knows that he wasn’t going to sign the papers because he didn’t want to separate,it was all my doing and he will only sign if I don’t ask for anything,since I wanted to separate.Not only this is a blatant lie,but after my lawyer verified,it’s obvious he’s evading his taxes to make it look like he has no money to help me out.
Now,I have 2 possible choices:I can let it go,sing the papers and basically let him win,but at the same time I will finally be legally separated from a man who broke my heart,my spirit,my self esteem and my will,and in 3 years we will be divorced.
OR,I can find a free lawyer,since I have an unstable job with a very low income (6 months contract,600 buck a month),and battle him.Get his taxes to be verified (and that’s something that could get him in serious troubles,even in jail,if they find out he’s evading),and get ready to go on a battle that could last years,without getting me anything in the end,while I’ll still be legally married to him.
Now,my boyfriend is not keen on marrying ever,and I’m not sure I will want to marry again either,but I’m still sure he’s not too thrilled that I’m legally married to another man.I’m at a loss about what to do.I don’t want to let my ex win..he’s a pretty fucked up person,his father worse than him (most of this is probably his parents doing),and so far I’ve been the one getting all of the downfalls,while his life seem to go just so well,even thought he was the cheating one.It just seems so unfair to me.I just don’t know anymore.