- 9 years ago
- Wedding: July 2009
Hey all, just looking for some support/advice.
My family, all strong Christians, have not been enthusiastic about my FI since the start of our relationship. He was a pretty big partier in college and wasn’t attending church when we first started dating.
He most definitely is a Christian — trust me, I’m not the type to missionary date — he just had turned his back on that part of his life for awhile. He started caring for me partly because he respected me for being so devoted in that area.
Most of my fam has warmed up a bit to him since our engagement, but I got a call a few weeks ago from my cousin asking me if I was sure it was God’s will to marry my FI. I told him seriously that while I obviously wouldn’t be taking these steps if I didn’t think so, I wanted to take a few days to think and pray about it since he felt so strongly that he should ask me.
I haven’t had time to call him back, but I heard from my sister today that my cousin is seriously considering not coming to the wedding because I haven’t called him back! I texted him to ask when would be a good time to talk and haven’t gotten a response yet.
My FI may not be my family’s "ideal" Christian boy, but he is a good man, loves God and loves me with all his heart. I understand their concerns, but in my mind, we’re taking all the right steps.
We have found our own church, joined Bible study and have started making Christian friends. We’re going to pre-marital counseling with our pastor and have agreed together to stop "fooling around" until after the wedding.
My cousin doesn’t really know my FI, has barely spent any time with him. I can’t help but feel a little indignant that he would try to make that kind of judgement not having spent time with us as a couple.
I guess I’m hoping for some advice on what to say to him. Any ideas?
P.S. I want to add that I don’t believe that there is just 1 "right person" for me to marry. I think that a mature, well-rounded adult is capable of having a happy marriage with many different people. Marriage is a choice and a committment.