Post # 1
Hello bees! I’m really down this evening, so I just wanted to vent a little, and what better place to do it than with all you lovely ladies here?
My FI and I have been in a LDR for about 2 years now. We’re going to school in different cities (about 2 hrs apart), and it’s been working out just fine. We’re planning the wedding to be shortly after I graduate, s.t. I can move in with him and we finally get to spend more time together.
Over the past month, FI has been here in the city with me (staying at his parents’ place). Oh bees, it was so wonderful!! Going to the gym together, going for nice evening walks after work, random coffee breaks, dates in the middle of the week (going to cheap Tuesday movies is awesome!). It’s just been amazing to have him at arms reach, and to really spend downtime together.
Well, he’s leaving back for school on Sunday night 🙁 I’ve gotten so used to being wonderfully close to him, and now I just dread the thought of him leaving. I know we’ve done it before, and it’s no big deal once we’re in the swing of things. But right now… well it’s so hard and I get so anxious thinking about it!
Thanks for listening (reading?) – I know you guys can’t change it, but just knowing that I can come to you with my thoughts is really comforting. I’m sure many of you are/were in a similar situation, and that this too shall pass… I just wish it was sooner already! *end vent*
Post # 3
I’m with you. We were LDR for almost a year, living together for 4 years and just went back to LDR last month since he left the country for work. I’ve noticed that it’s been harder on me this time, I think it’s because we are planning the wedding.
Just keep telling yourself that once this is over you guys are going to be married and together forever. (Sometimes I have to remind myself 50 times a day 🙂 )
Post # 5
I was in a similar situation. We were long distant for about 1.5years, then after I graduated from school we lived with his family for the summer. It was great to see each other all the time and not calculate our time together–always looking forward to the next time. We were supposed to move to TX together for his job but two weeks before the move I got a great job offer in NYC and couldn’t pass it up. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made.
This year apart has actually been easier, mostly because I’m not at school which reminds me so much of him. I’ve also been able to travel more often to see him since school doesn’t take up all my time. However, I also just felt like we were so used to the whole process we fell right back into it–sadly.
But, like effinjess said planning apart is hard at times. At first it was great b/c I got to plan and think all the time and not have him roll his eyes. But now, there’s projects he wants to be apart of and physically can’t–like invites, etc. One suggestion I have for you is to gauge how much your FI wants to be involved (this may change over time too)–do you need weekends alone dedicated to planning? I never thought my FI would want to be crafty but he literally told me to stop doing so much so he could take part. I thought about sending him the materials but realized its about doing things together. He’s visiting this weekend to get our marriage license and meet with our priest and I worked in doing our OOT bags.
Whenever things get tough I always think although apart I’m so much happier to have him in my life, even though it hurts to be apart. We are the lucky ones to soon be married to the love of our lives Stay strong, this year will be fun and exciting even if you are apart!
Post # 6
I totally understand. My FH and I have been LDR for 5 years, but we always have summers together. The first few weeks of school were always so d*mn hard! We’re LDR this summer too, but we’ve finally graduated so hopefully we’ll be able to be in the same city soon.
LDRs suck. Soooo much. But you will be a much stronger couple because of it!
Post # 7
I can’t relate to the whole LDR thing but I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you as I had some LDRs in college and it was always tough to readjust to being apart after spending a lot of time together. ***HUGS***
Post # 8
aaawwwww thanks for all the support!!! It’s so comforting knowing that others can relate.
Effinjess, I definitely do tell myself that we’re almost there… yet a year seems so long still!
Something.blue, I LOLed when I read your post – I just can’t imagine my FI asking me to let him help out with invites and favors etc. 🙂 Your guy sounds like a real sweetie! I’m so sorry about the hard decision though, I truly do understand. *hugs*
Afbacher, 5 years is a long time for LDR 🙁 I’m sorry! I really really agree that it makes a couple stronger. It makes you realize how important the relationship is to you and just how much work needs to go into it. It’s not always easy though!
*warm and fuzzy and heartfelt hugs to everyone* Thanks for listening!
Post # 9
Sweetie, KEEP THAT CHIN UP! 😀 My fiance and I are also separated, for a year total, by 6,000 miles. And lady, it blows. I completely understand. Hopefully you guys talk often and use skype (I find that videochat blows talking on the phone out of the water — it’s like he’s right here with me, and NOT in stupid Saudi Arabia). In fact, since y’all are in the same time zone, you should totally have a skype date, like complete with dinner and wine on each of your sides. My boo eats dinner while I eat breakfast, so it doesn’t really work as well…
But I know that suggestions only get you so far (distractions, skype, BLAHBLAHBLAH), and what you really need is to know that we, the caring, understanding, LDR-relationship-having women of weddingbee, are here to support you and cheer you on (and up!). And we are, cookie. You CAN do this! Goooooooooooooooo TEAM! ;P
Post # 10
i know we cant do anything to change it but know that you are not alone. FI and I just moved in together and ended our LDR of 3 years and it is great to no longer have to worry about when he is leaving again (as he moved out with me for the summers). hang in there, you can do it, we did!