Post # 1
Ok this is a bit of a vent so please dont attack me!
I am the youngest of five kids, 1 boy and 4 girls (one of whom passed away in a auto accident). Of my two living sisters, neither have ever been married and are 17 and 11 years older than me. My brother is 19 years older and was married in 2002 at the age of 30. He and his wife planned and payed for most of the wedding solo. I have always loved weddings. My mother watches all the wedding shows (David Tutera, Bridezillas, Say Yes to the Dress, etc.) and when I got engaged kindof thought my family would be excited. My mom refuses to help with any planning. Wont even talk about the wedding with me. Tells me she doesnt care and I should just ask my dad. He had to make her go with us to buy my dress. Neither of my sisters (both bridesmaids) have really expressed too much interest and have not tried to help plan at all. One tells me I am a bridezilla and wont let anyone help with anything. Yes, I am OCD about alot of things but I havent asked anyone to hep with anything because everytime I try to talk about it I get shut down. I have 6 other bridesmaids 2 of whom have actually helped me in the year I have been engaged. Idk what I am doing wrong but why dont any of my family/friends seem interested in my wedding?
Im now less than 4 months away from my big day and am getting less and less excited and more and more overwhelmed every day. Idk what to do and am freaking out at the idea of having to do all this by myself with out my mom/sisters/bridesmaids when I know this isnt how it is supposed to be…
Any similar situations out there? How are you/ how did you deal with this?
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
If your bridesmaids are single, that may be why they don’t seem interested- I’ve been on that side, and it’s really hard for single girls to get excited sometimes (that’s why I only try to talk planning details with women already married). You said one called you a Bridezilla, so something’s happened that makes them feel it’s not worth trying. Also, a year is a long time for people to maintain enthusiasm.
What else do you need to do? If there are specific things you need help with, can you ask “bridesmaid, could you please help me with planning XYZ?” My family’s not really involved with the planning, which I see as a plus-no one’s pressuring me to make any decisions/criticizing the ones we’ve made.
Post # 4
You poor thing! I’d be SO PISSED if my family brushed me off like this, especially my own mother, who obvoiusly has no problem watching the wedding programs, yet won’t bat an eye or lift a finger to help her own daughter. Thank goodness for those 2 BMs who helped you, and for your father who made her get off her arse to help you pick your dress. I’d probably pick a good time and try to calmly confront her on why she is showing such little interest. It breaks my heart to hear stories about such mothers who are so indifferent-or worse- the mothers who ruin their daughter’s wedding day.
How is your FI? Is he willing to help you plan? I might try to get him, your dad, and the “good” BMs more involved and say to heck with everyone else.
Of course, you have the hive to help you plan! 🙂
Post # 5
@rebwana: I would have thought the exact same thing about the whole single girl thing but the strange part is, out of my 8 bridesmaids 2 are sisters (who have chosen to not be married) my Maid/Matron of Honor who has been helpful is single, my bridesmaid who has been helpful has a very off and on relationship, 3 who have not helped at all are in relationships and the last is my 10 y/o neice (who oddly is by far THE MOST helpful in planning/ideas). If I have done something to them, I honestly do not know what it was. The sister who called me a bridezilla has many many issues with me and has gone out of her way to call me many other names over the years as well, ie. spoiled brat, ungrateful, selfish. My entire family recognizes she has some odd problem with me and no one else in my family has ever expressed the same types of feelings she has. Also, I didnt start planning until this past june because we did have such a long engagement. I thought they would be more helpful the closer we got but it just still isnt happening…
Post # 6
I’m sorry that you are going through this with your family. If you are the youngest of five your Mom might be having a hard time dealing with the fact that her youngest is getting married. I don’t really have any advice to give you on how to get them more involved in your wedding planning but remember you are never planning alone when you are here in the hive.
Post # 7
@Eight6Eleven: I alternate between pissed off and bawling my eyes out. I asked her several times to go to dress apointments with me but she refused so I went alone, the appointment she went to was simply to try on the dress I had already picked. My sister (who called me a bridezilla) invited me to try on dresses when she had to pick one for her daughter to be in a friends wedding. I found/tried on my dress alone while my sister and her friend picked out her daughters dress for an hour. None of my wedding experiences have really been up to my expectations and Im wondering if I am just setting the bar too high but it breaks my heart doing all of this alone while I see my friends moms being all about their daughters weddings.