(Closed) Going out of town with family and having separate rooms with SO

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: is it okay to have our own room together?
    not until you're married : (4 votes)
    13 %
    if engage, it's okay : (3 votes)
    10 %
    yes, you're both adults. it's 2012! : (24 votes)
    77 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    10369 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    You’re an adult.

    Why is this even a conversation?! haha

    If you think it’ll ruin the vacation because your parents are weird about it, then I guess that’s a different consideration. Part of being an adult is laying boundaries for what you want with your SO, though, so it just depends on whether this is a boundary you want to set with them.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4525 posts
    Honey bee

    IMO, you’re adults and you’re getting married. It’s fine by me. Now, if it were your parents’ house, then that would be another story and you’d need to respect their opinion. But since you’re getting a hotel, it makes more sense to stay together. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1042 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Are you staying with relatives, or did you pay for the hotel/lodging yourself? My rule is usually to abide by the host’s rules if you are staying in their home/accommodations.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3220 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    @Follydust321:  I agree.  DH and I had to do this a few times when we stayed with his (Catholic) family.

    Post # 7
    Member
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    My father would have the exact same reaction. If he’s paying, I say his rules go.

    If you’re paying, then how much do you feel like arguing with your dad? For me I’d rather yield and respect his wishes than cause a big fuss for such a short period of time. He already knows I live with FI, out of respect for him I just don’t flaunt it in front of him. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    2135 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Ummmm… you and your guy should be able to have your own room!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1271 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @echolove:  Firstly, I voted that you can do whatever you want to do; however, I think you should go on and respect your dad. let him feel comfortable. That’s very important. You’re his little girl and he has a certain perception of you whether it’s true or not. Have different rooms and enjoy sneaking around to see each other! You’ll be like teenagers again! It’ll be fun!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1755 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Unless you live with your parents, you’re staying with a relative or they’re paying for the room, I’d say politely, “While I respect your feelings, I’m an adult and you’re going to have to accept that I’m choosing to share a room with my fiance.”

    Post # 12
    Member
    305 posts
    Helper bee

    if you are paying, you can do what you want in my opinion. if you are staing at someone else’s house, their rules go.  i am in my late 40’s and my mother would never allow me to spend the night at her home with a man i wasn’t married to. and i’m not willing to go toe to toe with her on that either. what she says goes!

    Post # 13
    Member
    7908 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    Before we were married, if DH and I stayed with his family on their invitation, we stayed apart. With my family, we didn’t. If we had been paying with his family though, that would’ve changed things, but we were their guests, so we did as they requested. We were living together the whole time though and it’s not like that was a secret.

    The topic ‘Going out of town with family and having separate rooms with SO’ is closed to new replies.

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