Post # 1
For Dallas Bees, Stardust is having Trunk show and Sample sale this weekend. Apparently, they have monthly sample sales…
So, I’m thinking about taking the plunge and going to my very first dress try-on. Thing is, I’m new to the town and don’t have many girlfriends. I’d ask this one friend to come along, but there’s a bit of complication since it is expected (I believe by her and many others) that I’ll be asking her to be my BM but I will not be asking her (more on that later)…hence, I would feel bad if she came and I end up not asking her to be my BM…I feel like it’ll add to the disappointment…
Anyway, the question is – do I go solo? Do I take my FI? Since this is my first one, chances are I will not be selecting one or buying it…
FI knows and understand the situation and offered to go.
Post # 3
if you don’t have a date or location yet, it doesn’t hurt to wait until someone can go with you. after all, if the sale is monthly, there’ll be others.
Post # 4
Yeah — I would probably wait. Some women really enjoy shopping alone, but for me, it was important to have my mom’s presence and input (but we get along well and I trust her judgment, which I understand isn’t always the case). If this is your first time trying on and there’s no rush, then I’d either wait or go by myself.
Post # 5
If you can, I would wait. I think it’s best to have an opinion there other than your own, and the bridal attendants are going to tell you everything looks great just so they can make a sale.
Post # 6
I took my husband with me, but you have to REEEEEAAAALLYY be sure you’re okay with that. I voted Go Solo, since it’s your first venture, you can do it with a clear head and vision.
I have no regrets about taking my husband. But I did that after I had already been shopping with other people. He just puts me at ease in a way sisters and girlfriends can’t.
Post # 7
if it’s your first time shopping i would wait until you have your mom and other special people with you. it’s just such a special feeling the first time you come out in a dress and you’ll want their comments. i would not go with the friend- it will make you feel guilty if she is expecting to be a BM and you don’t end up asking.
Post # 8
I went dress shopping with a really good friend (also coworker) of mine and she will not be a BM in the wedding. I don’t think that just b/c a girl goes dress shopping with you that there’s an expectation there!
And, please do not take your fiance! If you have to, just wait.
Post # 9
Thanks, ladies! I’m just torn since I really feel like going to look. I am someone who will be completely OK with doing things alone. Then I do have to agree that I want my mom with me when the final decision time comes (or perhaps even the very first round) – but to do this with mom, I’ll have to wait at least a couple of months and it will be in a different country! I do have one of my BMs coming into town in 3 weeks…so I guess I can at least wait until she comes? As much as I don’t want my FI to see me in THE dress, I also want him to experience the dress shopping with me…Just too many thoughts… 😉
Post # 10
I had a very similar dillema. I recently moved to Chicago and all of my family and friends are back in OK and TX, so pretty much the only person that I have here is my FI. I actually took him to the dress shop with me when I was reselecting (long story) my dress. I went out and showed him a couple dresses, but when I put on one that I thought might be “the one” I asked the attendant to make him go to a different part of the store so he wouldn’t see me in it. Just because he goes with you doesn’t mean he has to see you in the dress you pick!
Post # 11
I am in the same boat that I have no friends here and I don’t really want to shop with my FMIL. My first trip to the bridal shop was a sample sale and I went solo! Although I’d preferred to have someone else there to share their opinions with me, going solo is still doable if you absolutely have nobody. After that, my FI has gone dress shopping with me 3 times, and he claims that it’s the best part of wedding planning so far. He loved seeing me beautiful gowns. I value his opinions over other people and I don’t care about him seeing me THE gown before the ceremony anyway, so it made sense for me to take him.
As for your friend who’s not your BM, I think it’s ok to invite her if you think she’ll be helpful. She doesn’t have to be a BM to help you shop! One of FI’s female friends actually volunteered to shop with me, knowing that I lack close friends here, and she certainly has no expectation that she’ll be my BM.
I think if you are someone who is normally ok to shop alone, going alone is perfectly fine, just for a look around. But if you really feel like you need someone to go along, take your FI or your friend, if they are available. You’ve got options! 🙂
Post # 12
I went solo. I took a camera and uploading and email the pictures to my mom (cuz she’s have way across the country from me). My FMIL actually met me there after she got off of work and I showed her my dress choices and she gave me a little input and we purchased the dress that day 😀
Post # 13
So, as of yesterday, I was encouraged to ask my girlfriend to come with me. Then she lost it (work stress) and decided to take the frustration out on me (who is her last-standing and only supporter) and made a huge scene at work – this reminded me why I was reluctant to ask her to be my BM and confirmed and sealed the deal that I will not be asking her to do anything related to the wedding. She apologized very sincerely after the fact (this is the first time she’s ever said she’s “sorry” to me in 5 years I’ve known her) and we are OK. But I’m afraid yesterday’s fiasco has done irrepealable damage to allow our friendship to grow deeper.
FI came back from his business trip last night and he’s more than willing to go if I want him to go with me.
I am thinking it won’t hurt to bring him with me; but he doesn’t have to “see” anything…I’m thinking I’ll treat it like any other shopping day when looking for a something specific…be able to indulge my obsession to go look, and call it at that. 🙂
Afterall, he IS my best friend for life, right? 😉
Post # 14
I went alone! It was easy and honestly, i didn’t have to deal with them telling me it looked good when it didn’t. Only my mom is THAT honest with me =].
When I found “the” dress, i sent mom a picture text message and she called me back and told me to buy it! Done and done.
But yeah, it’s easy b/c then you’re just like “flip flip flip” through the racks and grab what you want. I think the attendants just feel sorry for you and give you MORE help which is great. At all the stores they were very willing to lace me up, etc, and had zero issues helping me out.
Post # 15
Go solo! I am going alone to look at veils today.
Post # 16
Hi all! Thanks for the support. I went for my FIRST LOOK today and took my FI. He was so supportive! He sat there and even took notes on his Blackberry as I was carrying on a conversation with the dress consultant and emailed it to me! 🙂 Yes, my beau is very, very sweet. I’m glad I took him since he was very adament about not having any lace on the dress, but after seeing the dresses on me, he changed his mind! 🙂 Overall, it was a pleasant experience. We didn’t find THE dress, but I didn’t think we would on the first visit. I plan on leaving him out at this point; we got to share the experience, we got a good idea on what to look for, and now, it’s up to me and my girls (including mom) to pick one! Yay!