Weddingbee boards

We went to "Cowboy Church" this Sunday because that's where my husband went for some time before we met and still considers it his home church.  I haven't gone very many times but have always felt rather uncomfortable there.  Apparently it's not just me.  Even J had to admit that they've gotten a bit more out there every time we go.  (When the pastor has to say, "don't worry, we'll never pass out snakes because this pastor hates snakes" even as a joke, it's a sign.  Not to mention the "speaking in tongues" a few months ago.)  While he didn't say straight up that he wants to find somewhere else he did mention wanting to check out the place just down the road from our new house.  Hopefully they're a little more down to earth.  I've tried finding a middle ground before but there's no Quaker group in Cheyenne and the UU church is a little too out there for him, both of which I would likely be comfortable with.  Unfortunately, while there are a ton of churches in town there isn't a lot of variety. 

I know I could just stay home but that doesn't feel right for me.  I don't really mind going in general since I think I can still learn a lot and it's good for me to push my comfort zone but it's really hard to be "productive" and get anything out of it when I'm either in nearly constant disagreement or when my mind wanders, following what amused me and therefore missing something I might have benefited from.  For example, the pastor was talking about how Abraham was willing to sacrifice his only son.  I got sidetracked by continuing to read and being amused by the "daddy issues" that seemed to get passed along.  (Issac is deceived by his son, Jacob, who steals the birthright and then his son, Joseph of the Technicolor coat fame, is beaten and sold into slavery by his jealous brothers, etc, etc.)  I totally missed whatever they were talking about after that.  Oh, and the little listing of who all Jacob had sons by (his two wives and their two handmaidens) was rather distracting as well.

Anyways, I guess there's not a real point to this.  I was just wondering if any other bees do this and how they manage.  If you do, how do you manage to come out without a bloody tongue from biting it so many times? 

Thanks for the responses! 

@Missbliss - I did actually did kind of grow up "in the faith" but got burned pretty badly by it at an vulnerable age.  And I'm glad that some people think it's ok to ask questions.  That has always one of my biggest problems with religion - I could never get a straight answer, it was always "just because."  And I totally agree that the Old Testament has a lot of people in it who are not exactly role models but the OT God is VERY different from the NT God.  Forgiveness wasn't necessarily His strong point back then, according to the Bible.  ;-)

@jenbrandner - I definitely get what you're saying but even this church is 45 minutes away and so it involves leaving by 9am and maybe getting back by noon.  Maybe it's this weather getting to me but it seems like whenever I have somewhere else to be the weather is gorgeous but as soon as I get home and can go ride it gets cold and windy!  (Which is exactly what happened Sunday - beautiful morning, mini blizzard in the afternoon.)  The closest towns with churches I think I would like are a solid hour's drive away.  (Not to mention we're on a pretty tight budget and I notice the drop in my gas tank.)

@mouse - Thanks so much for the encouragement!  One of the reasons I'm so game to find a church we both like is for the community.  I could easily continue to be a "bad" influence on him for some time (his church attendance has slowly dropped to nearly nothing since I've been around).  It's also neat to hear a situation where the man believed and the woman didn't.  So often it seems like it's always the other way around. 

@lilyfaith - I still want to find a church we can both agree with because of future kids.  He wants to raise them in a church and I'm fine with that so long as I can still tell them to question everything.  :-)  But I also don't want it to be so conservative that I disagree with nearly everything they're taught and wind up being the Heretic Mommy. 

Cowboy Church is actually pretty cool in it's roots.  It didn't really have a home but gave the cowboys a place to gather when they were on the road (usually in the arena).  And was rather down to earth and simplistic.  Then it got big.  This particular branch used to meet in a roping arena (chairs were drug out on to the dirt), lots of singing, etc.  I still disagreed with somethings that were said but I could also appreciate a lot of it.  Then it got bigger.  They bought an old bar and converted it and now it seems huge.  The service has changed (like our friend who came with said, there wasn't a message or lesson.  She just talked at us.) and there are flat screen tvs with the song lyrics or the pastor's face when they're talking, etc. 

Ironically, while my thoughts are rather oh, let's say progressive, I still think churches should be pretty traditional.  (I failed to see how playing a clip of Braveheart during the service last time we went had anything to do with anything.)  I don't want televisions or microphones.  It shouldn't be big enough that you can sit that far away, IMO. 

@Melissa -   Yeah, my mind occasionally tries to go 100 different directions at once.  And I was actually totally fanasizing about having a transcript of the service so that I could make notes on it!  And not all sarcasm but also other things I have questions on that I would enjoy talking to someone knowledgeable about. 

Like how the pastor was talking about how we're the "Bride of Christ."  So I thought of all the other references in the Bible about "Man and Wife" and how that is taken literally (so as to exclude homosexuality) but that "Bride" is obviously not otherwise men would be SOL!  Is it picking and choosing what's to be followed or is there something else in there that I missed?

Oh man.  There were so many little things!  And not being able to discuss them probably what makes it so difficult.  If we could spend the drive home dissecting the service then I would probably be ok with it because I would be able to talk it through but J doesn't like to do so because he doesn't feel comfortable arguing something he doesn't understand completely.  (Probably something I should try to do as well actually but that's not how I work.)  And because I love debating that's not a very good combination.  Especially since I actually know the Bible better than he does.  (Thank you, Catholic School.)

I've thought about alternating weeks at the UU but I've never pulled the trigger and made us go.  I really want the first one to be acceptable and not too far out there for J, or either of us for that matter.  So it has been really nice that they actually post their upcoming topic on their website and I can sort through them.  But go figure, the one weekend I was going to push to go we were out of town.  The other haven't really drawn me in (when I think to look.)  We should probably just go and see.  Who knows.  Maybe I won't like it there either.

Whew!  And now I've written a novel!  I should step away now.  I hope at least some of it makes sense although I think I probably just talked myself in a circle...