Post # 1
So, a recent experience made me realize I really need to go to counseling, but I’m nervous. I know they talk to people all the time but I’m worried they will judge me.
I’m going to be talking about two seperate issues (FI’s online chatting- which he has gone to counseling for and is taking aggressive measeure to help) and past/recent sexual assault/harassment (not FI).
I get 12 free sessions through school so this is what I am doing. However, I will only be able to go until May so this will be shortlived.
So I guess what I’m asking is how do I get comfortable talking about these topics, which I have never discussed with a “real” person before. And how far into detail do I have to go?
Post # 3
I would get as detailed as you can. A therapist needs to understand your exact feelings to help you.
My only piece of advice would be to let your guard down and let someone help you. I would also advise that if you don’t like your therapist – get another one! Sometimes it takes a couple of different therapists to find one that you like, and that is okay…nobody every told me that which initially discouraged me.
Good luck! You are taking a great step!
Post # 4
I have both been to counseling and done counseling. I think you’re making a really great decision. Talking to a therapist can be really rewarding, but it’s always a risk to open yourself up. My tips are –
* The first session is always about building a relationship. You can go as detailed as you want or keep it less detailed. It’s up to you. If you don’t feel a connection with your therapist, ask to transfer with someone else. You need to feel a connection with your therapist to get anything out of their work.
* Be open. Different therapists take different approaches–their techniques might feel weird to you at first, but a lot of the stuff really works.
* Therapy is always up to you. You don’t have to discuss anything you’re not ready for.
Post # 5
@forever: First of all, good job on taking this step! It’s not easy but it could end up being a great benefit to you.
The first couple of sessions will probably mostly be your counselor getting to know you – your family, plans for the future, relationship, hobbies, etc, and what you hope to get out of counseling. It’s okay if you’re not ready to get into the deep stuff right away. And you only need to give as much detail as you want, although you’ll probably get more out of therapy the more you can open up and share. That said, if you don’t feel that you “click” with a therapist, don’t be afraid to try someone else. It’s important that you feel comfortable with him/her.
Post # 6
First session, it helps if you write things down so you don’t blank. It can be overwhelming, but once you start talking you lose track of time. You might cry, that’s ok, they have tissues. Also please keep in the front of your mind, there is literally nothing you can tell this person that will surprise/shock/disgust them or make them judge you. They have devoted their career to helping people work out their feelings, so the more honest you are, the better they can help you. The first counselor I went to was a waste of time because I really downplayed a lot of my anxiety issues out of embarrassment and it wasn’t productive for either of us. I went to therapy for a year after my postpartum depression and it not only helped my marriage, but it made me more self aware and proactive about recognizing when I need to take care of myself and be healthy before I can be 100% for the other people in my life.
Post # 7
I completely agree with the PPs.
I initially found it really difficult to go to therapy and it was/is a good experience for me. I’d be as open as you can. If you’re feeling uncomfortable, say something.
For me, the most difficult thing was making the appointment and walking in the door. Once I was there, I felt better…like I was taking control of things.
You should really honour yourself for this decision to take your life back and get help. It is really brave.
Post # 8
take advantage of having it for free! Just try and let yourself open up, remember this is their job they are not judging or sharing info, try and be as open and honest as you can, this will help you so much in the long run, its not easy but it is healthy. Dont be afraid to let her know you want to be honest and that it is hard for you to open up!
Post # 9
I agree with all the PP. But to help you get over the nerves, remember these are the most non-judgemental people (at least at work) and if they are judgemental get another therapist. They just want to help and if you let them, they will.
Post # 10
You will know right off the bat through their energy what kind of counselor they are. If you are uncomfortable, find another. Write down everything you would want to talk about so you do not forget. This is a great chance for you to move forward! Good luck 🙂