Post # 1
So I’m going to lunch with my FMIL in about an hour. She’s been wanting to have lunch together to chat. I know she’s going to pay, but I feel bad about it. She already said she’ll pay for it but should I offer, offer to pay half, offer to leave the tip? I hate these awkward, here comes the check situations? Lol
Post # 3
Since she said she would pay, I would let her. When the bill comes, just say thanks. You can offer to take her out next time.
Post # 4
usually the person who invites the other out pays. you can offer to leave the tip or buy desert or a glass of wine each
Post # 5
Regardless of who I go with, I always offer. The times when the other party insists on paying, I always insist on leaving the tip.
Post # 6
@echolove: I always offer. She will probably pay, especially if she already said she was going to do so, but I think people always appreciate when someone offers.
Post # 7
@Sapphire-Dreamer: That’s true. I just always feel so awkward someone else paying for me, especially my FMIL. I don’t know if I should stay quiet since she offered or offer to help out. Lol. What’s being polite, staying quiet since she already said she’ll pay or offering to pay? Lol
Post # 8
Offer to split it when the bill comes…. once. “I’m happy to split the check” or something like that. Then if she says no, all you have to do is smile graciously and thank her. Many people enjoy treating their friends/family, so don’t feel guilty!
Post # 9
If she invited and already offered then just say “thank you” and leave a tip. I don’t see a sense in offering if it’s already established that it’s her treat.
Post # 10
Regardless of who initiates the lunch, I ALWAYS try to pay for the bill, if they are completely adament about paying then I will let them take care of it and then I also put the tip down as well without offering
Post # 11
I think when the check offers, you should still offer to pay (for the entire bill) even though we know she is going to. At least it shows you weren’t expecting to be treated. She’s going to insist, “No, no, my treat!” and then you will back down and say, “Oh, thank you so much! You shouldn’t have! Next time is on me.”
Post # 12
@echolove: I can’t even offer anymore. FMIL is not very well off, so offering to pay is a huge insult to her.
Post # 13
@echolove: I always at least offer… if they say no then I say ‘Okay, I’ll leave the tip then!’ It usually works out
Post # 14
She who invites, pays.
For people I see regularly, we take turns paying… it no longer matters who invited who.
Post # 15
I think it’s nice to offer, but if she insists on paying, let her do this one nice thing for you 🙂 Your FI may have been filling her in on your own situation with your mother and she may be trying to make you feel better 🙂
Post # 16
Don’t feel awkward and just accept graciously and thank her this time. As pp mentioned, she invited you. Next time, you can certainly offer to treat, but I would not be surprised if she NEVER lets you pay! Maybe you can make a meal for her sometime.