Post # 1
So my FI’s friend has decided to get married 3 days after our wedding in Greece. The FI wants to try to go and just make their wedding in Greece our Honeymoon.
I do want to go to Greece one day but I really wanted to go to somewhere tropical and short flight for the honeymoon.
The FI doesn’t understand why I am bothered by this whole idea.
Here’s my Problems:
1. Our wedding is on the 10th. We are having a brunch the following morning. Then would have to drive back 5 hours to get home. Then we would fly somewhere on the 12th. Their wedding is on the 13th. To fly to Greece takes 24 hours and you have to ride a ferry to the island that they are getting married on. So needless to say we would be pushing it to get there by their wedding day.
2. I don’t want to be stuck on an island with another couple on my honeymoon. I can see it now. We end up doing dinner and outings together. I want to enjoy my week with just my FI.
3. Why should we go out of our way to attend their wedding when it is obvious that they are now not coming to our wedding?
Am I being unreasonable?
Post # 3
Who set the date first? If you did then it’s pretty obvious that they don’t even expect you to attend their wedding. How many friends are going to Greece for this wedding? I don’t have too many friends that could afford and take off work to go so far away!
Post # 4
We set our date first and they even asked if they could have their wedding with us to split the cost. So they knew our date and our plans. They now won’t us to come do this wedding thing with us so that we don’t have to spend money twice on our honeymoon and then on our own wedding.
I am with you on the friends thing. I don’t know who they are inviting or who’s going. I don’t want to be the only friends there and the rest be family.
Post # 5
I think it’s a really really difficult one. For one, it’s really difficult logistically. I’m honestly wondering how you’d do it — flying to Athens, allowing enough time to get to Piraeus (or whichever port your boat leaves from), You would be giving up so much of your honeymoon on really tough travel, rather than relaxing. And you will be exhausted after your own wedding, too!
Honestly, it sounds like this couple aren’t expecting you to be at your wedding. And I think you’re within your rights to want your honeymoon to be a relaxing, fun holiday for the two of you.
To be honest, if I met a couple at a wedding who had only been married 3 days previously, I’d be pretty shocked!
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I don’t know; Greece might not be tropical, but the beaches are pretty freaking amazing. I bet you will have a blast if you go, and their wedding is only one day of it ;). They probably don’t expect to hang out with you, and you certainly don’t have to hang out with them.
If you just don’t want to go that far that’s one thing, but if you’re afraid you’ll be spending your whole honeymoon with other people, I don’t think you need to worry about that.
Post # 7
That simply will not be happening with us I can tell ya. Our honeymoon time will be OURS.
Post # 8
Eh, this just sounds like a lot more hassle than it’s worth. They’re not coming to your wedding, so I wouldn’t feel compelled to go to theirs. Plus, you want your honeymoon spot to be unique and special to you….not that place you went for so-and-so’s wedding.
Post # 9
He probably realizes this is a rediculous idea, but it hasn’t set in yet. He is in a bad position, and does not want to miss his friends wedding. Give him a few days to come to his senses, and stick your heels in on this one. Good Luck!
Post # 10
I personally think it’s pretty unfair of them to know what your date is and then have a wedding in Greece 3 days after.
I personally would tell my fiance that no this is our honeymoon….once in a lifetime kind of thing….
Describe to him all the stress that you’re already dealing with planning the wedding and then how it’s only going to get more stressful and the last thing you need right after the wedding is more stress from flying for that long, and trying to make it to another wedding in time.
Make him feel considered in this whole thing though, if you just say you don’t want to go to Greece he’ll maybe feel like you’re not considering his wants, but if you tell him that all you want is to just be with him and only him on your honeymoon he’ll probably think to himself “hhmm…another wedding….or alone time with my wife…” If his brain doesn’t answer that question I’m sure another part of him will. 😀
Post # 11
@bellenga- My thoughts exactly. The FI is just too nice to say no.
@thecolorteal- I agree I thought it unfair to book so close to our wedding. I hope you’re right and some part of him comes to their senses! LOL
The bad part is my FI is a pilot and he spends all his time in a plane. So when we started talking honeymoons we agreeded to go somewhere within a 2-3 hour flight since he needs a break from the airports and planes too.
Thanks everyone for making me know that I’m not being a Bridezilla
Post # 12
Just say no!! Relax and enjoy your time together wherever you go, and don’t feel bad about shutting out the rest of the world-that’s what you’re supposed to do on your honeymoon!
Post # 13
You’re not a bridezilla!!! Greece would be an AMAZING place to honeymoon, so if you’er up for honeymooning in Greece, then go for it! You could make this wedding just one day out of the whole trip.
BUT if you would prefer somewhere closer, then it is PERFECTLY UNDERSTANDABLE that you want to go on a honeymoon with just you & your hubby. I think a lot of people underestimate how romantic a honeymoon can be. The elation you will feel after getting married & the relief you will feel by being done with planning is incredible, and it’s so wonderful to go off into a corner of the earth with your new husband and just BE together!
Post # 14
Ok. I’m a little confused. Did these friends decide to get married in Greece just because you were going to your honeymoon there? Did they actually ask you to have a joint wedding? If so, I think that is weird. How close are you with these friends.
I don’t think its a bad idea or anything wrong with attending a wedding at your honeymoon. My fiance & I planned our honeymoon around a friends wedding. We are having it about 2 months later (we are also have a minimoon directly after the wedding). We are going to Thailand for a week, and then at the end of our HM that weekend, our friends are getting married on Phuket. She is Thai. So the end of our honeymoon will be their wedding. I understand that it should be just two, and that is what we are doing. Plus after 5 or 6 days alone in Thailand it will be fun to end the honeymoon with a party!
However, with that said, it seems like you do not want to go to their wedding. Don’t!! It is your honeymoon and you can do whatever you want. I think it is rude for people to expect you to attend a wedding during your honeymoon. It is your time, and it should be spend however you two decide. Also, I don’t like the idea of attending the wedding directly after yours! For us, the wedding is at the end, so it will feel like a honeymoon. I can see it not feeling like a HM if you hang out with people in the beginning of the vacation.
Good luck! Stick to your guns!
Post # 15
I agree that you should just say no! You are under no obligation to fly to Greece for this destination wedding.
Whether you are on your honeymoon is beside the point. Would you go if you were not going on your honeymoon? If you want to go to their wedding in Greece, you should go. If you would be okay with missing it, go on the honeymoon you want. But also, if you did go, Greece is a big place. You wouldn’t have to stay with them or near them, just go to that island for the day of their wedding.
Post # 16
@miss sea spray- Yes they did ask to share the wedding venue with us. I know very weird. This was months after we had already booked the venue/DJ/cakes/food etc. So I was not in a position of sharing my wedding day because I don’t want to share my wedding and I had already done all the leg work! No we weren’t going to go on our honeymoon in Greece. They just decided that hey we’ll get married that same week and instead of you guys doing two seperate trips you can do it all in one trip.
This is the FI’s friend who lives across the country from us. I’ve only met him once and neither of us have met the girl. So I think it is weird to insist for us to come to Greece for their wedding.
The FI is too nice and he’s told his friend to send him the information on hotels etc. I know that if we go we WON’T get by with just attending the wedding part. We’ll end up hanging out with them the whole week. Not what I had in mind for HM.