Post # 1
FI and I have our first meeting with the priest who will be marrying us… in 8 hours. Neither one of us is very religious (we are very spiritual, but don’t follow religion, although we are baptised Catholic), but our families are. Even though we would have rather been married outside, we agreed to have a church wedding because it means so much to our families, and honestly, it was easier than being bitched at for 14 months about not doing it.
I’m really nervous about this meeting. What is going to be discussed? What is he going to ask us? We live together, don’t really go to church except on holidays with our families, we don’t agree with a lot of what the church says and does (read: we are firm supporters of marriage equality and a woman’s right to choose), and I’m afraid he is going to make a big stink about it all.
Can anybody shed some light on what we are getting ourselves into???
Post # 3
It varies not only from parish to parish but from priest to priest as well. My church is generally more on the liberal side but we do have some stricter priests. I appreciate you trying to please your family but in the end you gotta do whats right for YOU. good luck 🙂
Post # 4
Mine spoke to us together and then spent about 5 minutes with each of separately, asking such questions as: Are you marrying on your volition? Have you been married before? When did you get engaged? Do you live together? How often you attend mass?
I was SO nervous prior to my appointment with the priest and found to my relief it went very well. Good luck 🙂
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2014 - St. Francis of Assisi Church & N.O. Board of Trade
Don’t be nervous about it!
The first meeting, in general, it seems that they just need to get some info about you. We both provided the same address since we live together and he had no problem, and I think they just ask if you attend mass “often” “frequently” or “rarely”, something like that. He asked if we were both confirmed and at which church, as well as some things like if you’re being forced to marry or if you’ve been married before.
He might ask you why you’re getting married in the church and just get to know you more. Every priest is different, but ours was definitely not a grilling question session.
Post # 6
@SarahTee: It does vary based on the priest and parish. He’ll ask you a bunch of questions to make sure you’re coming of your own free will and aren’t siblings or underage or whatever. One thing is you will have to be open to children and vow to raise your children Catholic. Another weird one is you have to be able to have sex with each other for a Catholic marriage to be valid. Other than that, he’ll probably give you a booklet to help you pick out your readings, go through whether you want a full Mass or just a ceremony, and give you some pre-Cana (aka pre marital prep) recommendations.
Post # 7
Thanks bees 🙂 I know it will probably be fine, because this priest is younger and we have had numerous conversations about the Eagles and Penn State,lol, so I feel like I will be able to relate to him and am hoping that he’s more understanding. I honestly don’t know whether our church is more on the liberal or conservative side. My area in general is liberal, but our monsignor has expressed.. umm… disapproval, of Pope Francis’ recent actions, which, coincidentally, is the only reason I am even considering coming back to the church fully. It’s such a hard thing to figure out, but I am sure it will be fine and that I am just making a mountain out of a mole hill. Thanks for your insight!