Post # 1
I’ll try to make this as short as possible.
I have a friend that recently moved to Texas. I don’t want to put all of her business on the internet, so I will just say that it was more her husband’s decision to move, he gave her three days to pack, and then the day after they moved there, he was deployed for 10 months. Point being, she didn’t have to move, her husband wasn’t restationed, he requested to be. Now she’s in a new place, pregnant, living with his parents that she’s only met a handful of times with no reliable mode of transportation. (Her husband is kind of a douche, but that’s a different story.)
Anyway, she called me last night and all but begged me to come visit her the first week of July. She’s miserable there but won’t admit it to anyone but me. I want to go visit her. I’ll be out of school and I miss her terribly.
The problem is that FH isn’t thrilled about me making an 11 hour drive all by myself. My friend and I had originally planned to meet up half way, get a hotel and spend a few days together, but she she doesn’t have a reliable vehicle, that’s no longer possible. I’d have to go all the way to her.
I understand why FH isn’t the biggest fan of this plan. He thinks it’s a bit rushed to take a trip like this, but I won’t have another opportunity to go until after I finish school in November. He’s also sad that I’d be gone for a while. We haven’t spent more than a night apart in the year we’ve been living together.
How does your SO handle you going away?
Post # 3
My husband would probably react the same way out of worry and missing me. He would understand though. Knowing him, he would buy me a GPS and a gun. 🙂
Post # 4
“Do you need a ride to the airport? When is your flight again? Ok love you bye! When is your return flight again? Yeah, I’ll come get you.”
We’ve always had jobs that required travel, so it’s not a big deal for us. I’m leaving next week Tues-Friday then again for 2 weeks at the end of July and he’s gone for 1-2 week 4-5 times a year.
Post # 5
He pouts a bit and objects to my plans, but it’s not negotiable, I need to travel for work and visit my friends and family, so he has gotten used to helping me with the plans and coming up with the best travel for me. If you leave early so you arrive before dark, or soon after, I’d say go for it. Grab a GPS, your phone, and make sure you test your tire pressure and oil before taking off!
Post # 6
my husband is always supportive when i go away but finds it hard to deal with spontaneous trips and gets a bit stressed until hes worked it out in his mind
“tomorrow?? tomorrow? what do you mean you’re going to london tomorrow? whats wrong? just to see your family?” etc etc
Post # 7
I’m spending 6 weeks in a third world country, so it could be worse for him.
To answer your question, he’s not doing well. I leave in a little over 2 weeks, so we’ll see how it goes I guess. We’ve never gone more than a week without seeing each other since we met
Post # 8
You should go visit your friend. If I were in this situation, it would be a non-issue. DH and I are from Texas, and drives that long were a regular occurance when we lived there. My mom and I took several weekend trips to a little town just north of Daytona Beach in FL, 18 hrs there and 18 hrs back, leaving on Friday afternoon and getting back Monday morning… that’s what I would call a rushed trip – not an 11 hr drive and a weeklong stay. Plus, DH is in the National Guard and travels an hour north of the city to go to drill once a month, and stays on base 1 or 2 nights for that. Geez, even tonight, he’s staying with a friend in Jersey to do an independent contractor sort of job out there.
How does my DH handle it? When he’s home alone, he orders take out, probably in his skivvies, and watches movies all night. How do I handle it? Very similarly. 🙂
Post # 9
I remember in my old HR job having to go out of town for ONE NIGHT to Houston. BF was all sorts of bummed out :-p Then he had to go to FL for 3 weeks once and I was a wreck. I guess we aren’t great at being seperated 😡
Post # 10
It doesn’t even phase my DH (or me). But then again, he travels with his job and is gone every week.
In all seriousness though, I think your DH needs to man up and get over it. You being away to visit a friend for a few days really isn’t a big deal and it sounds like your friend could really use the support.
Post # 11
DH is a soldier, he travels around the country for FORSCOM. It doesnt phase me, and when I travel to Virginia every couple of months or go visit friend or family, and he cant go, he never even blinks.
Im independent and DH would never try to talk me out of it unless he felt I was in a dangerous situation.
Post # 12
@SouthernGirl: I went away for 10 days overseas last year, and SO was very sad (so was I! I cried for most of the 9 hour flight over!). He is terrified of flying so him coming wasn’t an option – didn’t stop him from worrying the whole flight though.
It is a REALLY long drive on your own though, I understand your SO’s concern – can you fly instead?
Post # 13
He’s totally fine with it and manages just fine when I’m gone. I’ve been traveling a bit for work the past year, with my longest trip being away for a full month in Turkey… just to return and then be asked to go back less than a week later for another 2 weeks. That was the first time I’d travelled out of the country on my own, but I called when I got there so he knew I made it nice and safe and we talked every day for a few minutes.
Post # 14
@badabing88: It’s the same for us, about being separated anyway. I know that he won’t object. I think he’s more worried about me driving/traveling alone. My friend had invited the both of us out there, but FH only has two more personal days at work and one sick day until November, and he’d rather hold on to those in case he really needs them.
@Deejayelle: I could fly and would honestly much rather do that. I’ve been looking for a good deal on a plane ticket. I think he’d be more comfortable with that than the drive, because a flight is only about 3 hours (I think, it’s been a while since I’ve flown to Texas).
@Mrs.KMM: I think he will be fine. He’s just used to planning everything a month in advance. He is going on a 10 week shut down in Mississippi (if all goes to plan) in September and I’m going to be ok with that, and 10 weeks is a little bit longer than 4 days.
Post # 15
@SouthernGirl: Why is your fiance being so controlling? It’s not like you’re going to Sudan or something. I drove to NH from PA all by myself (I mean, I’m an adult, so yeah it’s not a big deal) and he was 100% okay with it…well actually I don’t know because I didn’t ask. If you’re old enough to be getting married, you’re old enough to drive to visit a friend.
Post # 16
Lol, DH would be fine. It’s a good break from each other IMO. He can sit around and have his uninterrupted man time without me complaining of boredom, and I get alone time in a new place to shop, visit friends, etc.