Post # 1
First off, not married yet – wedding is Nov. 5 – but we are already thinking about the TTC timeline because for the past year, I’ve been taking medication for generalized anxiety disorder, and we do want to TTC fairly soon after getting married. I have been so in my head worrying that it would be this whole monthslong ordeal, that I’d have to get off the medication and get stable before even trying, and that maybe it’s a terrible idea to try to have a baby given that I am so ridiculous when I’m off my medication (I don’t get severe depression or agoraphobia, but I am prone to fly into rages, isolate myself from friends and things I love to do because everything social gets really scary for me, get super moody, lock FI out of the bedroom… basically, I need medication in order to have relationships with other humans :))
So I saw my pdoc yesterday and tentatively brought up the subject. Turns out – surprise – I’m not the only woman in the world on psych medication who would like to have a baby. Just so happens my pdoc is very specialized in this specific issue, to the point that a lot of the area OBs refer patients to her and she works closely with the lactation consultant at our hospital. She said I’ll have the best chance of stabilizing off the meds after about 9 months to a year of feeling good on them, and I found my sweet spot a couple of months ago. With the wedding being 6 months away, that means we can comfortably start TTC as early as next March :).
She said I don’t have to do a thing differently, but as soon as I find out I’m pregnant (if… don’t want to jinx us :)) to call her and we can taper off the meds then revisit our options in the 2nd or 3rd trimester. She assured me there are safe options and that lots and lots of women do this, either with or without medication. And that I’m not a horrible selfish person for wanting to get pregnant despite my tendency toward mood issues.
I just had to share – I know this is a potentially contentious topic, and even more so since I’m jumping the gun a bit, but in case there are others out there… and also just because I’m relieved that I can stop worrying about it for now. 🙂
Post # 3
That sounds like really good news. 🙂 Do they think post-partum will be worse because of your mood disorder? I am glad you have such a knowledgeable doc. Good luck on your future pregnancies 😀
Post # 4
good for you!! that’s fantastic. of course you’re not a “horrible selfish person”! that’s the least selfish thing i’ve heard of. you have a doctor monitoring a medical issue as you proceed to ttc 🙂
Post # 5
Thanks 🙂 I’m always afraid of what people are going to say when I tell them this. I don’t know why.
@secondchances I don’t think there’s any way to tell 100%, but since I have a propensity for mood swings and mild depression, there’s a higher risk. I’m actually glad in a weird way that I have a heads up on the issue since I’ve struggled with it in the past. I’ll have many people watching my back and a good team of docs 🙂
Now I can focus on the wedding planning for the next few months without being so distracted!
Post # 6
I am only gradually coming around to the idea of children myself, and one of the things that I’ve had to get myself to realise is that a lot of my apprehension is related to my being scared of what would happen if I were off my meds.
I don’t think its selfish to worry about the kind of person you are when things are not all honey and roses (ie. chemically regulated hehehe), especially when you will be responsible for a child. I am very scared that without medication, I would struggle with feelings of depression and anxiety and not be able to cope with pregnancy and then a baby. I am curious too about whether women who are prone to generalised depression are more likely to suffer from post-natal depression. I think this will be something that I will need to do a lot of thinking about over the coming years (not planning on spawning any time soon).
Good for you for asking your doctor, and good luck with everything.
Post # 7
Yay! I glad you will have a lot of supportive people around you. Im also glad this meeting with the doc has taken a weight off your shoulders. Enjoy this time planning your wedding! What kind of wedding are you having? Wedding planning can be soo fun!
FYI I think we all worry about other peoples reaction. I know sometimes I struggle with this. I know that it is dumb to care what perfect strangers think but sometimes….
I think you are very sensible to have a baby making plan. That is the responsible thing to do 🙂
Post # 8
@secondchances We’re doing an outdoor wedding at a botanical park. The wedding planning is SUPER fun but I’m starting to panic a little that I won’t get anything done, heh. I guess you could call our theme “modern vintage.” I just recently decided to do bunting as the outdoor decorations, if that tells you anything 🙂
Thanks for being so supportive ladies!
Post # 9
Do you ever read dooce.com? She has a lot of depression issues — actually ended up checking herself into a mental hospital after the birth of her first daughter. This is not to be a downer at all though. She speaks very frankly about her depression and has had some great posts discussing her decisions on how to deal with her medication during pregnancy and afterward. If you haven’t read her blog, the depression posts might be worth a read just so you know that there are others out there in similar situations.