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I definitely had a stage in planning when I felt like this. A couple of things helped me:
- Rather than dividing your time and money equally between elements of the wedding, think about the few that matter most and would really make you feel like you're having a great wedding, and focus on those
- Get friends and family involved - they can definitely contribute more time and creativity than you have alone
Good luck!
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PS I also found it helpful to take a break from magazines and websites which showcase these perfect-looking "real" weddings where everything comes together and every detail matches. Real life is not like that! I think scaling back expectations is a huge part of feeling excited rather than resentful about the wedding.
I've get that feeling every so often, haha! It usually happens when the things I envision in my head don't come out quite the same, or are more trouble than I initially thought. But then when something comes out better than expected, I start thinking my wedding will be great again. haha!
I think it just comes and goes in phases. I'm sure your wedding will count among the great! I mean, anyone that cares enough to look around online and post in forums like these obviously puts a lot of thought and effort into her wedding, so how could it not be great? :)
Thanks girls. I think that most of my problem lies in the fact that I feel like I don't have enough time so I am constantly pushing things back and I am worried that grand plans that I had about decor, etc. won't be fulfilled. And so maybe I am adopting a "good enough" attitude so I don't freak out. FI and I have both been working overtime and have had crazy family issues on weekends so the time issue has just been killing me.
I feel like that, and I am fine with it. I despise the word "perfect." You're getting married, it will be wonderful. But you don't have to put on a show and your wedding doesn't have to be the best most original, unique wedding ever OMG!!!! For every wonderful thing you think of, there is always some more wonderful thing that you'll see 2 days after your wedding. I say make your decisions, be good with them, and move on.
I somewhat do at times, or I feel things are getting way out into left field and at times when I remind myself to keep it all in perspective, it calms down. I think I'm also fairly fortunate in that I never planned my dream wedding growing up, so I don't really have any expectations other than good photography and that everyone have a good time. It's an interesting balance and I certainly don't think you're alone.
At first, I wanted it all to be perfect. But during the months leading up to the wedding, when I was tired and stressed, "godo enough" was truly good enough for us.
But you'll come to find that on the wedding day, "good enough" is absolutely perfect because things have a way of working out. And when you're surrounded by all your loved ones, everything seems perfect, even the ribbons on your favor boxes that are totally uneven and the table cards that were half-assed (ahem, I'm not talking from experience for anything ... ) :)
I can definitely relate. My dream wedding and our real life budget are in two completely different galaxies. We just decided to figure out what was most important to us. For example-- I L.O.V.E photography, so spending a bit more on a stellar photographer was a no brainer for us, where flowers for example are just not my thing-- I'd be happy using dandelions.
Maybe that would help you--- choose some elements of your wedding to be just "good enough" and choose some more important elements to be fabulous!
I agree on the scaling back on magazines and blogs that have these fantabulously perfect weddings. That takes quite a bit of the pressure off. Having fun with it helps a lot too. Not to take it too seriously. Make decisions you are happy with and don't second guess yourself. I tend to do this a lot. I am a total perfectionist and if doesn't look like what I envisioned in my head then well, it is not good enough. Weddings evolve as you evolve. Just because it wasn't what was originally planned doesn't make it any less of a fabulous wedding.
What will make you enjoy your wedding more having everything be perfect and be all stressed making it happen or having everything be good enough and being calm so you can enjoy your special day. I have realized I will take my mental sanity over perfection! What will be will be! I agree that wedding magazines give us unreal expectations kind of like those skinny models in magazines too! No one sees what goes on beyond the scenes to make things and people look like that. Also the photos are just the highlights and snippets of the best aspects of a wedding.
What matters on your wedding day is just you, your fiance, and your love for eachother without that your wedding would never be good enough no matter the budget or effort.
I totally feel like this! I have 4 months to go and all my ideas are flying by me, and i keep thinking to myself, well, will I be that upset if we don't have mirrors under the tables? Will Ibe that upset if the jr bridesmaids carry small bouquets instead of homemade pomanders? Will I be that upset if we only have store bought place cards instead of handmade ones? The answer is usually no....but I feel like I am settling due to time and money constraints too and it makes me kind of sad :-(
I think all your replys are rock solid awesome. So on target. I will be getting married in October 2010. I started planning, looking at magazines, and of course I have the most fun checking out this website. So many ideas, so many different ways to do your wedding. In the end what matters is to doing what is best for you, thats why there are so many different ways to do your wedding (different budgets, different styles, different visions). So like the other bees, I say pick of few things that are most important to you, and the rest you just do something nice. I love pictures and have seen how important they are to me. I also plan to spend most money on food and someone to coordinate everything (from past experiences, I have seen so much stress when there is no one who is professional hired to take care of the whole reception ). So I will be hiring Event Professional (in LA,Ca) to cater our event . They include a reception coordinator, chief on site, bartender, food, and plenty of help to make this day run smoothly. I also will have someone do my makeup/hair (hey a girl gots to look good), besides I have no idea what to do with makeup , and thats about it. I gave up on flowers, because what I want is way out of our budget(yes, I love ideas from websites, but it runs in the thousand dollar range), not for us, they die anyway. So focus on the musts, and go with the flow with the others. happy planning!
LOL I just realized what I said, I meant mirrors under the centerpieces on the tables! That would be alittle weird having everyone look down and see a mirror, of course NOW I cannot get THAT image out of my head! TOO FUNNY!
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Does anyone else feel like they are aiming for a "good enough" wedding? When I first started planning I felt like I had all of these great ideas and I had visions of everything coming together in this neat way. Now all I can think about is how I can make things "good enough" rather than great. If I had more time/money/creativity I feel like I could bang out a great wedding, but lately I feel like "good enough" is what I am going to end up with.