(Closed) Good friends are hard to find…

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’d drop that like it’s hot, lady. Get out now, because it sounds like youre in for a long, catty, bitchy ride if you dont.

Sorry that I dont have any other advice other than that.

Post # 4
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

It really depends on how important she is to you.  You could admit that tell her she was going to be a BM and then deciding she won’t be was a mistake and that you want to give her another special role in the wedding.  (If you want to do that)

or Remember she is young and this may blow over in time.

or Just throw in the towl.

Post # 5
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I have one question and I hope it doesn’t come across as rude – if you thought she was your BFF then why didn’t you call her to tell her the news of your engagement? 

Post # 8
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’m totally in the same boat! I just get along better with guys so I’ve never really found myself getting close to girls. I will say this from experience. She sounds like a toxic friend. I have had several friends like this (and one which I still haven’t decided what to do about because we’ve been friends since 6th grade) and it is way easier to “break up” with a boyfriend than a girl friend. My suggestion would be to invite her if FI really wants but after the wedding just kinda let things simmer. Then I would try to go find some hobbies (idk, like sign up for a softball team or for a dance class) and meet new people there. It may not lead to a BFF but it will at least be a step in the right direction and you can start a new healthy relationship.

Post # 10
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - Sweet ceremony by the sea and sunset celebration on the North Shore of Hawaii

Does your FI know how you’re feeling since you reached out to her? Maybe talking it over with your guy and seeing his perspective can help, too. And if it does mean a lot for him to have his childhood friend there, you can enlist your BM’s to keep her as far away from her on your wedding day as possible. YOU deserve to have the time of your life. 🙂  {{BIG HUGS}}

Post # 12
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think you have gotten a lot of great advice on here.  I would let your FI invite him to the wedding since they are best friends, but I would really distance myself from this girl.  She is a toxic friend and won’t do any good for you it seems.  I know it’s hard making good friends sometimes but it’s not worth keeping the horrible ones around just to not be lonely.  Trust me.

Post # 14
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

For a while, you were friends… Why? Was she fun to go out with? Did she introduce you to a lot of people? Was she good for a funny story when you needed a distraction? It’s possible to keep friends for specific purposes.

If she’s poisonous, drop her. I went against my fiance’s recommendations with a couple of (now) formal friends and things got worse. I miss them, but they were bad for me.

Great friends are out there, they just take a lot of work to find (just like the perfect guy!) After moving to San Francisco, I started meeting people immediatly (I forced myself to go out and meet people!) but it still took me around 2 years to find and build friendships with my now-besties.

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