Good friends broke up, now he wants to know if he has a chance. Advice?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
4134 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think you should just tell him outright that you don’t want to be involved. If he wants, he can ask her directly. It’s not fair to make you be the go-between. Their relationship is only between them. 

Post # 4
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I would tell him something along the lines of what you said in your last paragraph. Just be upfront and honest with him. If you’re truly friends, he will understand that he’s putting you in a very awkward position. 

Post # 5
3303 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would be honest about how you feel.  It was great seeing W…you miss seeing him around.  The split has been hard on everyone including you and your husband.  Whether or not there’s a future there isn’t your place to say and you don’t know better than the two of them.  W will have to talk to A to make that decision.  Best. 

Post # 6
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@StephieBee:  I would tell A and see what she says. No matter what she’s already said, she might have a different reaction to this. Maybe it would prompt her to start talking to him again if she knew. As far as W, I would just tell him “Sorry W, I just don’t know where she’s at in her head right now. I don’t want to tell you the wrong thing, so it’s best if I don’t tell you anything. It was nice seeing you again.”

Post # 7
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I would tell A. As for W, tell him you miss seeing him around and that he needs to ask A about this.

Post # 8
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@StephieBee:  Tell him that the only person who could EVER answer that for him would be A, and he’d need to ask her himself. This will she won’t she crap is like, super low. He needs to man up and figure his relationship out himself.

Post # 9
876 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t tell A what W said as that would be just as much a betrayal of confidence as telling W what A is saying/thinking/feeling IMO. I think a reply along the lines of *I’m sorry to hear things are difficult for you right now and I hope you know both DH and I are here for you. However, it would not be appropriate for me to break confidences by relaying A’s thoughts or feelings to you, or yours to her. I feel if you want to know where she stands, you should be talking directly to her about that. I think it is best for all 4 of us _ and our friendships. If DH and I aren’t put in the awkward and difficult position of being go_betweens. I’m sure you understand.* (sorry for typos. Dang phone!)

Post # 10
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’d just tell him that you don’t want to be involved, but if he’s really that upset that he should ask “A” and find out himself.  She may be feeling the same way, but if not, the worst she can say is no, and then that would help with closure and help him move on.

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