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I just hate that statistic! And the best part is, it's not even entirely true. If you're over the age of 25, your "50%" goes down. If you're college educated, your "50%" goes down. If both sets of parents are still married, your "50%" goes down. If you've been together for more than 3 years before you marry...it goes down. If you do not have a child together before marriage, it goes down.
If you have 3 of these things, the percentage goes so far down it's in the sigle digits! I know we can't be described by statistics, but I just hate when I hear the wedding debbie downers shoot this stat in my face! SO THERE YOU HATERS!! Marriage is do-able!
Yay! We'll have 3 of those when we get married!!! Well, FI is in college-so almost 4! lol.
I guess we are good. I have all three and the hubs has 2 out of the 3.
Yay for the married people :)
I've heard it's lower for first marriages as well.
I do think it's important to remember that those individual factors will NOT cause your marriage to succeed or fail though -- young couples, encore couples, couples with kids, children of divorced parents, less educated couples, etc. can still have incredible, successful marriages! It's a lot about the expectations you approach life with and the way in which you and your SO interact and work together, as well as the things that come at you later in life (tragedy, like the death of a child, can often cause emotional damage that changes peoples' personalities, and often leads to divorce).
i thought it was 50% of mariages end in divorce, not 50% of people. so those who divorce more than once are just helping the stats for the rest of us!
Haha! Glad to hear that. My parents aren't married anymore but I definitely know me & my FI will work out with no problem! :)
That statistic isn't correct anyways b/c it accounts for people who get remarried and divorced again and again :)
@daydream---ABSOLUTELY what you say is completely correct. It's the dumb people who say this like it's totally factual, under all circumstances. This stat is the percentage of all marriages that will end in divorce. So many people get married, the information I gave is the profile of people who's marriages TEND to work more often than not. Catch me?
But, you are so correct, no one can fit into a statistic completely. We are people, not numbers!
@Headuh---I'm taking a Psych class at a local college, called "Marriage and Family". Haha, I had the extra time, and figured since I'm getting married, I may as well learn a thing or two about what the experts say! It's been fun to be back in college! I will try to find some more info online and get it to you.
We have 3 and a half (my parents are together but his are divorced). This was such a great thing to share VirginiaMarie!
Nice post. FI and I are 3/4. My parents are still together (and still doing it! I stumbled upon my mom's "drawer". It was terrifying, but I am happy they are still happy), but his parents never married eachother, and have 7 marriages between them (and 7 divorces).
While people defy statistics, for good and bad, all of the time, I like looking at the world this way. What it tells me is that FI and I have to pay special attention to his attitudes about our relationship, as he doesn't have a good role model. I also need to make sure I don't default to my childhood expectations without discussing them with him.
This is where the power of stats comes in, IMO.
I'm college educated but my parents are not still together, but are great friends. In fact they have not been together since I was 6 but have made it important that we do things as a fanily all my life. Every year my father would stay at my mothers house on xmas eve, for example, and we would have christmas as a family. Pretty awesome, if you ask me.
He is not college educated (but works in a career oriented field -engineering, that he happened to get because they gave him a shot-- almost 5 years later he's still there and now has all the certifications that he needs to advance even more so i kind of consider him as practically college educated. You never would know without asking!) His parents are still together.
When our wedding occurs we will be about 3 months shy of being together 3 years so yeeeah I hope thats close enough to count, haha.
Yes, it's just so misleading. Media has us believing that literally one out of two marriages fail. But it's nice to know that it's not like that...(now all us date twins can breathe a big sigh of relief!) ;) j/k....
Here is a brief article the NY times did. They speak mostly about the education aspect though..
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9805E2DE1F3EF93AA25757C0A9639C8B63
I've said the same thing about military divorce rates. The military does not make you get divorced. There is a demographic in there of people who marry and divorce over and over while in the military and it inflates the percentage. Even then, the rate is actually LOWER than the national average!
@Snake---well don't you take it too much to heart. I think it matters most that we're aware that this silly statistic is garbage!
Oh, but I'm 24 and he's 26 so I'm 1/4 and he's 2/4. But we're pretty much there with the ones that don't count so I'm pretty confident we can make it slide ;)
We're both over 25, college-educated, both sets of parents are still married and by the time we get married, it'll be 1 month shy of our 3 yr annivesary (close enough for me!!).
YAY!!
Statistics mean nothing to the individual.
We are 3/4. His parents aren't together anymore, but I think that just made him want to work on our relationship more. He saw what it did to his family, and he told me that he would do anything he can to make sure we never end up like that. We are both in college now, something neither one of us had planned on before we got together, but we wanted to make sure that we made a better life for ourselves and our future family.
Hooray, we're both 4/4! (though I didn't need this to confirm we'll stay together!)
Yipppeeee!
He is 29 I am 30
We have been together for 10 years, lived together for 5
No kids
Both have 4 years degrees
but both sets of parents are divorced.
:) :)
Yay!!! We are both over 25, both sets of parents are still married, we are both college educated, no children, and we have been together for 4 years!!! It is looking good!!
Hehe I love that you're all counting what you "have"! I did too. Lots of education, no kids, over 25, many years of dating, but FI's parents are divorced. and I totally agree with Puggy, it only seems to have made FI even more determined to not let that happen to his own family.
Thank you for sharing VirginiaMarie! Haha, I really have no idea why people are so excited to share the 50% statistic with me when they find out I'm engaged, but now I have a comeback instead of mumbling something like "Yes I know But we love each other.."
I like this too – and yeah, we doing pretty well. We’ve been together over 3 years, no kids, both college educated, my parents have been married almost 40 years (first marriage for both), and although his parents are divorced, both of his parents remarried and have been with their spouses for over 25 years. So, lots of long-term marriage success karma there.
Whew, looks like we’ll make it! 
tehee
College educated - check!
No kids - check!
I'll turn 25 the week after our wedding and he'll be 28 the week before - half check?
3 years - just under - half check?
Parents divorced... his are, mine would be if my dad was alive- no check
So basically 2 full and 2 halves = 3 right? LOL
People like us who care about our wedding and marriage I think are much better off than the whole 50% thing. I think there are a LOT of careless marriages where it's not something like what we're all experiencing. We need some sort of curve, LOL
This is great. When looking at any statistics, you really should be comparing apples to apples. A loving, committed, adult relationship responsibly entering into a marriage is going to have a much different rate of success than a shotgun wedding after a teen pregnancy, for example. I think some of us are miscounting the checklist though! There were five things! We have... 3 out of five. But it'll be over 2.5 years together once we have our wedding, and his parents are still happily married. Sooo, I think those two put together make one more. 4 outta five's pretty good! :)
WOOT You go Virginia Marie! I've ALWAYS hated those statistics and always felt like they were a bunch of bull. I wonder what the statistic is if one is over 25 and the other isn't. LOL. It's nice to know what I've been saying all these years "you learn from your parents on how to have a good relationship" is sorta true. My parents have been married for 36yrs (37 in OCT), his grandparents (the ppl who raised him) have been married 33yrs. So we qualify for that one, the not having a kid one, and half of the over 25 one, we've been together over 3yrs and we're both receiving our college degree. . . I feel really good about myself now. Maybe that's a little sad that knowing a dumb old statistic is wrong makes me feel good, but it does. So boo-yah to all the nay-sayers
yayyy!!!! we are both pushin 30, no kids, college educated, and parents are still together! :) 4/4!!!
4/4 (my parents were still married when my father died a few years ago)...so according to North American standards, we're doing good!
By according to Korean divorce statistics, we are in the worst category (international marriage). Then again, those statistics as skewed by the fact that most of these kinds of marriages are between 'mail order bride' couples...so again..maybe statistically we;re okay.
This is definitaly what I tell myself when I think about getting married. I know we are both adults (over 25) who have been together a while (almost three years) who are well education ( I have an MBA, he doesn't though), and who's parents are still together (on both sides!).
I also know that as a couple we both view marriage as a life long committment. We are well aware that we may have our "up and downs" but in the end we made a committment to each other.
Haha that's great! Just recently an often miserable friend of a friend made a comment to me about how scary marriage is, how it's more of a commitment than having a child (??) and that most end in divorce anyway (she's never been married). I just smiled at her. It would have been nice to have this stat then!
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