Post # 1
I guess I’m a new-ish “waiting-bee”, although I’ve been lurking on here for a long while, I wanted to be able to vote on the polls! Hehe.
My SO and I have been together for 4 years, we’re in our midtwenties, and have had many, MANY discussions about the future, plans, goals, getting married, kids, the works really.
He recently told me not to expect anything around this holiday season (which is okay by me, we just got over a really rough patch regarding my being ready to get a move on before he was- we had a previous timeline which has now passed :/).
And THEN he went on to say that it would be much better if I stopped talking about timelines, rings, dates and marriage because he wants to surprise me with his proposal, and won’t be doing it when I expect it.
Somehow I think this sounds strangely promising.
Post # 3
Know one can be 100% but it sounds like to me he wants to surprise you, and does see you as his future wife, which is a good thing! 🙂 As long as you are okay with waiting until he is ready it sounds like you are on the same page. If you feel the need for a new timeline he might not be on the same page, obviously. If I were you I would just wait for the holidays to pass, and if he still doesn’t ask it’s time for another talk.
Post # 4
For what it’s worth, I voted chocolate! 🙂
Post # 5
@plum_pudding: Lol, the third choice.
He wants to marry you! 😀
If you stop worrying too much about it, time will go by faster and soon you’ll have a ring on your finger 😉
Post # 7
I know. You’re right.
But it’s almost like he’s heard of the “Shut it Up Pact”. 😛
Post # 9
@plum_pudding: Okay first things first, WELCOME TO THE HIVE!! We need more waiting bees around these parts!! I’m happy to welcome you here lol!
I’m big on taking things that my SO says at face value. He says to not expect a holiday proposal…so maybe don’t expect one.
BUT….It IS promising that he doesn’t want you to talk about it, he wants time to plan something special and he wants to throw you off! I’d say it’s promising that it is happening soon, so hang in there!
Post # 10
Thanks for the welcome!
Yeah I’m not expecting anything this holiday season. At this rate, I’m optimistically hoping for the summer, or possibly my birthday.
Post # 11
Welcome OP! I know how hard it is not to get your hopes up. Especially in cases like these, chocolate is the best.
@veryberry13: I feel like I have been down this road multiple times during my nearly 7 year relationship, and advice like this is what keeps me sane.
I no longer look forward to calendar dates as proposal opportunities, but when I get fidgety I ask myself, well, I don’t have a proposal right now, but do I still have a great guy day after day who is supportive, loving, caring, and good to me? It sounds very zen and believe me I am not always very good at it, but when I can focus on that, it really helps my stress level (and thus SO’s, who cites stress as a barrier to Moving Along With Things). Sort of a focus-on-the-journey-not-the-destination thing.
Clearly it is on his radar – I wouldn’t personally expect anything, but it sounds like he is doing some serious thinking! Best wishes to you and your SO for a happy start to your holidays.