- 5 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
I just need to rant about this here because I feel like it’s too silly to tell anyone in real life.
When FH and I got engaged he made it clear that he wanted a few things to be in place before he’d feel comfortable enough getting married. He wanted to be finished with school, have a new job and be outside of his probationary period before we actually tied the knot. I know FH wants to finish his degree because he has already been promised a job after graduation and it pays much better than his current one. FH said that he knew he could lose his job at any time, but that he would feel more secure if he made it through the first three months where you can get fired for anything. All of these things are reasonable to me. We were never planning on having such a long engagement (it will be three years next September) but considering the fact that we are both in college we didn’t exactly want to rush. We figured that October 2013 was a good time. It gave FH plenty of time to be in a new job and I would also almost be done with school. We’ve known each other and been friends for seven years, dating for three, engaged for two and living together for one. I know I can wait to marry him, but damn if I wasn’t excited that we had reached the year mark, that I could start planning and looking at dresses seriously. We had even put down a deposit on a venue.
But FH went to register for his classes and was told that his last six classes were going to have to be spread out until August 2013 because, according to his advisor, there wasn’t enough money in the program to offer all six of them over the next two semesters (he’s in a tech program). Because FH won’t be graduating until August 2013, I can kiss my October 2013 wedding goodbye. FH isn’t going to want to graduate, get started in a new job and get married within a two month time frame and I can respect that, I wouldn’t ask him to put himself under that kind of stress.
It’s just that I was REALLY looking forward to being his wife. The last year that we’ve lived together has felt like forever, and I feel like we should be married already. It’s not even the wedding. I don’t even care about the wedding, give me a courthouse and I’m good. I’m just bummed about moving the date again. I had gotten used to the idea that this time next year, I was going to be Mrs. H, and I was thrilled.
I won’t lie and say that the long engagement hasn’t bummed me out too though. We’ve been engaged long enough that people just assume that we’re married. I can’t tell you how many times people referred to FH as my husband at work (we used to work at the same place).
I know it’s silly but I was never waiting for a proposal, just waiting for the actual wedding.
I’m also upset because we’re going to be out of the money we put down on the venue.
The few people I’ve told have just told me to go ahead and get married anyway, but I feel like if I pushed for the October wedding, I’d be pushing FH too because he wanted all of those things in place first and now it’s just not going to happen.
Eh, thanks for letting me rant and be silly over this. I feel better now that it’s out there.