Gosh, will we ever TTC??

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2013

OOHHHHH i know what you mean…..trust me its not just you, you may feel like it(god knows i do) but there’s hope. My husband thinks anything and everything he can buy for his car is a must have and has i think forgotten he promised to help fix up our house(its been in the family for 2 generations)….we need things for the house before we could ever ttc….most stuff easy fix but cost money.

He’s already bought things for his car and im lost as to why since its all stuff it really doesnt need. He wants it to go faster-well i want a baby! lol nahhh i cant throw that at him exactly but feel like it most times.

Im at a loss like you weve talked about ttc and making this one room a nursery but its a discussion that ends fast so i dont think he’s emotionally ready yet. Women mature waaaay before men do. I dont believe women have a mid life crisis I think thats reserved for men.

We need health insurance…has he gotten it or looked into how to get it NO> ps still not pregnant.

NO LOSING HOPE:) ITLL HAPPEN FOR YOU:) BABY DUST

Post # 4
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MissCountryGirl727:  For us, figuring out our “timeline” started with talking to friends with kids or those who are currently expecting. (Timeline in quotes because DH, “just wants it to happen organically” – ok dude, as far as I can tell, these BC pills are missing organic certification, so I have to stop taking them at some point!) We came away from those discussions with the impression: KIDS ARE EXPENSIVE but yes, we both still want one. We also talked about how if we can’t conceive, what measure we’d take and we came to an agreement, with the idea in mind that we’d like to conceive naturally, so that means we don’t want to put it off TOO long.

We determined that we first needed to take a serious look at our finances/debt situation and get on a budget. We agreed that we wanted to wipe out all credit card debt before TTC and have significant savings piled away so we have wiggle room to pay for daycare or for DH to work from home, freelance, or maybe not work at all for period of time to care for our kid. Our first priority was to make some needed renovations to our home (this is not our forever home, but we needed to fix stuff to potentially sell it in the next 5 years). Now we’re in the saving mode for another 6 months. THEN we may NTNP. 

So maybe a financial discussion where you each list 3 things you want to accomplish in the next 3-5 years (for you I assume 1 of those would be BABY!) and then create a financial plan that helps you achieve those 6 things in the near future. Maybe there will be less than 6 things, provided you’re in agreement about some of those goals.

Post # 6
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@MissCountryGirl727:  thats hillarious….thats probably how mine is thinking….wow do i have explaining to do. I think he forgets the 9month waiting period.

Im having symptoms of it i think been dizzy headaches all the above except for the two major tellall signs-nausiosness and missed aunt flow….we’ll se in a few days thinking of just taking a hpt before i get new pills….god wouldnt that be something. kinda scared

Post # 7
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MissCountryGirl727:  It sounds like he’s not ready for babies yet.  I can’t really blame him, getting married and buying a house are two huge milestones. I wouldn’t be able to comprehend thinking about baby in the midst of all that.  Just take it one day at a time, enjoy your last few weeks of wedding planning and get through that and moving into your new house.  Once you’re settled, then broach the topic of babies.  

Post # 9
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MissCountryGirl727:  I’m sure all the excitement will tone down once you move in. My DH and I have talked about doing millions of things to our house and it rarely ever gets done!   Also, in my opinion all the decisions about what to do to the house should be joint decisions, not just done because one person wants it.

 

Post # 10
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MissCountryGirl727:  Buying a house is a super exciting thing. When we bought our house back in March, DH was talking about his man cave and all these projects he wanted to get done. We knew we wanted a house and dog before TTC. We did both, and we made small changes to the house, but after a while of living there, it wore off for him. He still has all these things he wants to do with it, but he was also ready for kids and knew the improvements could wait. We set a timeline of fall is when we would try, but after we had the house and dog we kind of sat there like, “What are we truly waiting for?” And lo and behold, here we are. 9 weeks into this thing.

Your man seems to have a lot going on and is either into the excitement of having a house or just not ready. Could be both too. Maybe you guys could sit down and make a timeline for all his hopes and dream for the house. Then write out yours and see what is doable right now. I would also discuss where TTC fits into that and how you plan to accomodate both.

Post # 11
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MissCountryGirl727:  I’m sure he’ll cool off the “Buying a boat/perfecting his mancave” once the wedding/house excitement has cooled off a little!

And every time he says “I can’t wait to work on ________”, I would reply with “I’ll probably re-paint the kitchen… But mostly I can’t WAIT to deccorate the nursery!”

Post # 12
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

His excitement for all that stuff will die down. I have stood by as my DH day dreamed about all this stuff he wanted to do. Well guess what, he realized they took work and money and he quickly got bored with it. Now I have to push him to get stuff ready in the house before our little one arrives in the spring. 

Post # 13
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@MissCountryGirl727:  I feel the same.  My DH has been saying “in 3 years” for a year now.  Somehow, its still in 3 years.  And he’s also convinced that we’ll be pregnant the day I go off BC.  Well, more like he thinks that the day he says “I’m ready”, I’ll get a positive test.  And whenver I try to explain to him that its not that easy, he just keeps telling me to go to the doctor to get “checked out” for any and all fertility issues.  Um, they aren’t all things you can do a simple test for, and you can be perfectly healthy and have it still take awhile.  Especially if he insists on waiting until we’re well into our 30s.

Post # 14
Member
10384 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I totally understand where your SO is coming from. I’m the same age as you guys, i’ve been with my husband about as long, and we just bought our first place. I want to really live it up for a while and enjoy having the space to entertain, money to travel and do things on our home, etc. It’s a wonderful phase and not one to be skipped! You have a decade to have 2 kids. Pushing the timeline by starting (NTNP is definitely starting, as 85% of women doing that are pregnant within a year) is really shortchanging this phase, and his goals/desires. Can’t he have a year or two to live it up?!

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