Got a different dress andd nervous to tell my sister…

posted 3 years ago in Dress
  • poll: Do I tell my judgmental sister about my change of dress?
    Yes, tell her, it's awkward if you don't : (26 votes)
    52 %
    No, don't tell her, don't give her another excuse to judge : (24 votes)
    48 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3394 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Gosh, she sounds kind of awful – it’s unfortunate that you have her as your MOH, given how judgemental and negative you say she is. I understand the complexity of family though – I guess you had no choice?

    If I were you, I wouldn’t mention it to her at all. Do you have other bridesmaids or trusted friends who can give you advice and feedback on how to style the new dress? Hopefully she’ll be able to keep her negativity to herself on your wedding day, but if she brings it up I would simply say that you changed your mind, and went for a different style. Simple as that, and you shouldn’t feel the need to have to justify your decision to her. 

    Post # 4
    Hostess
    7630 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Well you don’t HAVE to tell anyone anything.

    How involved was she in the wedding dress purchasing process? If she helped you pick out the first I feel like it would be awkward not to say anything.

    If you just showed it to her once I wouldn’t worry about talking to her about it. It’s your decision, don’t worry about her opinion. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    476 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    No need to bring on unnecessary aggravation.  

    Post # 8
    Member
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    WHY the feel that you need to share ?

    I am an Older Bee… and for the life of me I don’t understand this concept.

    When I got married the first time (circa 1980) … I didn’t share details of my Wedding Planning stuff with anyone.

    My Groom, and My Parents (and his Parents to some extent) knew the details.

    Styling – Venues – Colours – Menu – B&G Attire etc…

    Everyone else was out of the loop entirely… they were only given info on a NEED TO KNOW BASIS (ie it concerned them)

    Everything else they found out on the Wedding Day…

    No harm done.  They got to be surprised as much as every other Guest.

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    7279 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Did she psy for it? Ofcourse not, its none of her business.

    Post # 11
    Member
    9949 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    While you’re under no obligation to tell her…you should.  If she tries to rub it in your face, brush it off.  Say, “Yeah, so what?  I have a dress I love.  You can have the other one if you want.”  Who cares if she’s bratty?  It’s your wedding, and you should be able to talk about your dress with whomever you choose!

    Post # 12
    Member
    465 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @Lily_of_the_valley:  Tell her, but dont tell her why you ordered another… if she asks just say you found something you fell in love with even more. 🙂

    if she gets all judgy about you ordering a second dress kindly offer her your original dress at a discounted price since she loves it so much 🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    465 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @Lily_of_the_valley:  Tell her, but dont tell her why you ordered another… if she asks just say you found something you fell in love with even more. 🙂  If you want to change your mind another 7 times you can… because its your wedding, your choice… not hers.

    if she gets all judgy about you ordering a second dress kindly offer her your original dress (at a discounted price of course) 🙂

    Post # 14
    Member
    1311 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 1994

    If your MOH will judge you and rub something in your face, my first thought is to find a new MOH.

    Your dress really isn’t anyones business but your own.

    If you want to coordinate maybe ask the ladies on the Bee.

    I eloped when I got married, so therefore had no one to ask questions to really, so I asked the bee.

    Post # 15
    Member
    61 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    Its your day you can wear what ever you wish without judgement from other people despite where it comes from or what it looks like however to save any unnecessary stress on the day i would tell her before hand. If shes going to be judgemental and hurt your feelings let her do it well and truely before your special day!!!

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    141 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @Lily_of_the_valley:  Are the dresses similar enough that you could pass the second one off as the first one after some heavy alterations? Then you could keep that information to yourself until the wedding day, and if she says something, respond with “Yeah, the alterations really brought my look together! I’m so happy with how they turned out, it’s like having a custom-made gown!”

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